(Closed) Making friends easily

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Not judging others is a big one for me. You made a post the other day calling your friends worthless so I don’t think it’s right to then be having an issue with this woman’s friendship making techniques.   Maybe just except some people are different and deal with creating and maintaining friendships differently?  Maybe this woman has social anxieties, maybe she isn’t as confident as you are.  Whatever it is, either do the nice thing and go be a friend to this woman or concentrate on your own friendships.  What helps someone make friends?  simply being nice and not judging.  

Post # 5
Member
295 posts
Helper bee

In my expirience people usually gravitate those who are positive and those who spend very little time talking about themselves. 

Post # 7
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsFuzzyFace:  and yet you choose to mention she is heavily tattooed.  Maybe she puts out that vibe or fear of people judging her because she knows that some of them are?  You are judging her right here and now.  She doesn’t need you to go explain anything to her.  Let her be. 

Post # 8
Member
8163 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Maybe take the high road and reach out to her then? Perhaps she HAS been judged openly in the past and so she is guarding herself against further pain and insults. Who knows.

Post # 9
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’ve lived in the town I live in for 6 years. Completely my fault that I don’t have many friends. The friends I did make here pretty much all moved away within 2 years of us becoming close. I am not a social butterfly, I do not necessarily want to see you every week. Always getting invited somewhere and turning the invite down is exhausting. We will be making a more permanent move in the next 2 years and I will try a little harder to make friends.

Post # 11
Member
1124 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’ve lived in my town for 3 years and have a total of 3 friends. Besides my fiances friends whom I see more than my own friends.

A big part of me not being able to make friends is my fault and I admit that. I don’t wish to be a burden on anyone and without transportation at the moment I have no way to go to lunch or meet them anywhere unless my FI takes me and he works. So yep, with me it’s my fault.

Post # 12
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsFuzzyFace:  it isn’t your issue?  Sorry but nearly every thread you seem to post is about you talking about other people’s problems and only the other day you called all your friends worthless on a thread here.  You seem to do a lot of talking about others and I’m simply saying that for me, in a friendship, I like open mindedness, transparency and no judging.   This woman might be picking upo on this.  

Post # 13
Member
8325 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@anahappilyeverafter:  +1

 @MrsFuzzyFace:  Couldn’t you have just suggested a few of your church groups that she might get involved with. That would probably have been more constructive than writing a post on the internet judging others ability to make friends.

There could be a whole psychology behind this womans problems with forming social bonds and yes her appearance may be a huge factor and she probably has in the past felt discrimination due to this. Maybe as someone so active in the church you could take a teaching moment away from this and talk to your members the next time you are speaking about general acceptance of others. Especially since it seems that they might not be as accepting as you or they think they are since this women feels some judgement and no one has bonded with her.

Post # 15
Member
221 posts
Helper bee

I think it depends on the person. I’m a very shy and akward person around people I don’t know very well. That’s my own issue though. Making friends is difficult for me. I would say it’s mostly my fault for not opening up to people more.

Post # 16
Member
51 posts
Worker bee

@anahappilyeverafter:  This. 

 

If it “isn’t your issue” then why are you making a thread about it? I think you need to focus on fixing relationships with your own “worthless” friends as opposed to judging this woman for her inability to make friends. It doesn’t seem like you really reached out to her, which it seems she might have been hinting towards. 

 

You keep saying that you don’t judge people, but nearly every single thread you start is doing just that. Honestly you seem so concerned about what everyone else is doing instead of focusing on your own relationships. Why is that? 

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