- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Yes, I've heard of this. I had an Isreali friend (her name was Gal and her husband's was Guy) who said that in Israel some people earn a profit from the gifts because they also don't buy registry gifts but give money. If you think about it there isn't much difference from getting gifts because you get things that you would need for your new home. Anyway it is all about building a patrimony, that is why your guests help you out either with money or with gifts.
I think initially I was hoping the cost of the wedding and our gifts would sort of balance each other out. However, after planning 75% of the wedding, I realize there's no way in heck this is going to happen. I'm happy to throw a big awesome party for my friends and family to celebrate with FI and I. I would never have expected to come out ahead at the end of the day, nor was that a "goal" of getting married.
I think you're right though, in some cultures the money aspect is more emphasized, it just depends where you come from and what your traditions are. In Canada, not a lot of people do a money dance type thing, but a lot of couples do "Jack & Jill's" as a sort of fundraiser for the wedding. I don't really agree with them and would never have one myself, but I'm not going to get my nose out of joint about someone else having one. Different strokes for different folks.
I have never heard of this before. We actually did break even on our wedding because of a large gift from my husband's only living grandparent.
Yup, I've heard of this. A friend I know claims to have broken even on his wedding, but apparently it is his culture for the friends of the parents to give very generous cash gifts to the couple. Like in the thousands.
Yes, sadly enough I've heard of this. A couple we know managed to do this by a) telling people they were paying for their wedding when in all actuality her parents stepped up and paid for it and b) having a "second reception" in his hometown at his mother's house where there was literally not enough space/food for half the guest list, and so a lot of people just dropped off checks/cash because it was across the country from the b&g's home.
Yes. It's common in Vietnamese weddings. And although this typically happens when there is a large wedding, it's not necessarily b/c it's a large wedding. It's because the couple didn't spend as much PER PERSON! A lot of people aren't talking about that. In my experience, you only break even or make money if a large majority of your guests gift you with cash (in whatever form) and if you spend under $100 per person. So I found that it's easier to spend under $100 per person if you have family style meals.
@MightySapphire - Up here, couples (it's becoming fairly common) basically host a games night. So friends/family/wedding party SELL tickets to the event (typically $10-15, but I've heard of big ones costing $100 each!!!!), then the event itself is basically a big fundraiser. Most often the bride and groom rent gaming tables (poker, roulette, etc) and you pay to play. Then sometimes they'll have other activities, like throw a pie at the bride or groom's face for $X/pie. Cash bar. Food is usually provided inclusive of your ticket price. FI went to one last year for the son of a guy he had work connections with. The family was Italian, so it was full out. Apparently the parking lot was full of Ferrari's and Lamborghini's. Tickets were $100 each. There were models at wandering around between all the gaming tables etc.
Personally, it's not my cup of tea. I rarely go to one, only if I know the couple REALLY REALLY REALLY well, and know that they literally could not have a wedding without one (and I want to go to their wedding, LOL). I often just think it would be more appropriate to spend the money on a smaller wedding with a restaurant reception rather than renting gaming tables, etc for the night and getting your friends and families to sell tickets. The whole thing just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
@bakerella - I am not a fan of them either. I think it is kinda rude expecting your acquaintances to come to help you fundraise for your wedding. I have been invited to really random people's Jack'n Jills via Facebook.
I think it would be good if a couple came out on top after a wedding but....like hotwings said people spend so much on their weddings that it really is not something that could be expected.
@MrsMartin - Me too. I'm not really interested in helping a guy I went to high school with's cousin's neighbour's sister-in-law's friend. And I hate how people give you a "look" when you say you don't want to buy a ticket. My BIL was bound and determined to have one when he and my sister got married. My sister (and my whole family) was appalled and flat out refused. He tried pressuring FI and I to have one saying we could make so much money. I'm not getting married to make money thanks. Ridiculous.
@Bakerella - WOW! I've never heard of anything like that before! To be honest, it sounds pretty out there. But I guess it could be fun.
As someone who did a LOT of fundraising in my university days there's no way I'd ever do that. I hate hard-selling tickets to my friends and family. But hey, it also sounds like those events are really fun, so it could work for the right group.
I always thought a Jack and Jill was just a bridal shower where both men and women were invited!
Yep, we'll at least break even on our Korean wedding. Everyone gives money (the house is already set up and everything purchased pre-wedding), so all of our costs should be covered.
As to the Jack and Jills (Stag and Doe in my area of Ontario) - EVERYONE has them, and I really hate them. I've gone to other people's as it is 100% expected of you, but I have always vowed not to have one of my own. (I have never heard of $100 a ticket though!! Usually $10-12 is normal from all the ones I know of).
Well, my FI's family is Persian, and they do give generous cash gifts at weddings. His cousin broke even on his wedding (maybe even made a little). Helpful because bride and groom had just bought a house and were doing a little remodeling. They had about 250 guests. We are expecting about 300 guests at our wedding and hoping to make a little $$. We aren't paying for very much of our wedding though.
I had a friend tell me once about a dollar dance that they are doing at their wedding in June. Guests bid to pay a dollar to dance with the bride or groom. They do this for however long until a few guests have danced with the bride and groom. I personally thought this was really weird because, in my opinion, if I am a guest at a wedding and gave you a wedding gift why do I need to pay again to dance with you? The whole point was to raise money for the couple, but to me it seems a little rude. It kind of reminds me of the Jack and Jill fundraisers.
Hmmm i guess theoretically if your parents pay for the wedding, the bride and groom "make a profit" but that certainly wasn't the case for us, as we paid for it ourselves. And we didn't come anywhere close to 'breaking even' or even breaking half...or quarter....but that's ok! I know in some cultures extravagant gifts are expected, though.
Whoa. We aren't going to come ANYWHERE near close to breaking even. We have a pretty high per person cost (around $470/person *gulp*), but even if it were, say, a quarter of that, we couldn't expect to break even just because of what's the norm for gift giving in our circles. Man would I love it if we could.
Yes this is very common in Russian culture. People always give money for the wedding, (registry gifts are only for the shower) and they are very generous. Close friends and family give near a thousand and not as close guest give a few hundred. Depending on how much you per person cost is it's very feasible to break even and possible make a few dollars.
Wow, I have never really heard of this. I did have a friend ask on the invite for cash gifts only because they wanted to buy new furniture. I am not going to lie, I would love that kind of generosity from family and friends to be able to break even on the wedding but I wouldnt expect it by any means. We are having an engagement party and possibly a second reception but not because we expect gifts on those occasions. We are having the engagement at the FI's parents and Cali and the second reception in my hometown in Oklahoma so that way everyone we know can be able to celebrate with us.
no way jose will we break even - not even close. of course i am not expecting to.
Yup, it's very common in traditional Asian culture, I think. I'm a Korean-American and it's still very common amongst 2nd generation Korean-Americans as well b/c we grew up seeing our parents giving cash at weddings. Some of my Korean-American friends coming to my wedding actually asked me if I wanted something from the registry or just cash (yeah, I know it can sound bizzar to some of you but we're used to it, haha). In Korea, there's really no concept of a "wedding registry" so people just bring cash as gifts. Also, like Ms. Hotwings pointed out, the whole wedding cost doesn't cost as much as how a typical wedding would here in the States. It's usually a buffet style and it doesn't cost that much, so your parents can invite tons of people and make it a huge celebration -- friends usually give $50-200, and family members tend to give more. So yes, it's very possible to break even.
My parents were taken aback by how much my relatively small wedding would cost here (they're both in Korea). They're having my FI and I fly to Korea and have a wedding there (so we're having 2 full-blown weddings, 1 in Korea and 1 here in the States) mainly because they want to invite all their friends and my extended family to celebrate, but also to "break even" and cover both weddings. So you can imagine how big my Korea wedding would be...
Well I know some people that get a certain amount from family and then save the leftover for a house or future things so I guess you could say that theyre making money! I wish I could do that, but unfortunately we want the big wedding with all the trimmings that our bidget can afford ;)
Although not so common here, it is common for couples to make money on their wedding. In one country (I want to say Spain, but I might be off) guests pay for themselves for the reception in advance. Money can be wired/deposited directly into the engaged couple's account, and then there is gift money included in that. I think the theory was that the friends and family should be supporting the union of the couple and not the couple throwing a party for friends or something like that.
This is VERY common with Italian/European cultures. I guess it also depends how much you splurge on your wedding to determine if you break even or make money, but with my culture, we give a "boosta" at the wedding instead of a gift, and there's even a special box for it and everything where everyone comes down the receiving line, and drops their "boosta" which is essentially a card with money in it, in the box. Most people give around $250-$400 per couple, and some close relatives even give more.
The thing is, they do it for you, but you also do it for them when their time comes around, so it really evens out, and it's a good way for the newlywed couple to start out, instead of lots of wedding debt!
To me, I like this, but I'm used to this way.
Also, just for clarification, we dont PURPOSELY invite a lot of people to make money lol, we invite whoever invited us, typically, to their wedding, and obviously close family and friends. I've never heard of intentionally inviting lots of people just to make more money, that sounds kinda wrong.
i don't we'll be breaking even, but i can almost guarantee that we'll "make bacK" at least half. not that we're viewing it that way, but because the majority of our guests are korean and they always give cash/checks. so i'm low-balling it and saying 50% of costs. i don't know if i did the math right... :P regardless it's around $10K at least we'll get.
I wasn't even close to making money on my wedding or breaking even! That definitely wasn't a goal...they're gifts! I've never heard that before...
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Rivendeler | 14 |
| Suikerbossie | 9 |
| Future Mrs K | 8 |
| janetsnakehole | 6 |
| ellisrobertson | 6 |
| MrsOliveBird | 5 |
| ladyartichoke | 5 |
| NehaPrasad92 | 5 |
| ndreighton | 5 |
| deniselobo | 5 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| ohulani | 2 |
| zippylef | 1 |
| angela85 | 1 |
| Miss Godiva | 1 |
| MabelleBliss | 1 |
| PaulBabyBallerina | 1 |
| shychigirl | 1 |
Does anyone here come from a background where they expect to make money/break even on the cost of the wedding?
My aunt mentioned to me that you have to have at least 400 people at your wedding in order to "break even." Our background is Italian and people typically bring cash to weddings instead of registry gifts. I had never really heard of this/thought of it that way and wondered if this is typical in anyone else's circle (not that it's typical in mine, but it seemed like the norm to my aunt).
Disclaimer: I'm not suggesting that I or anyone else would or should throw a wedding in order to profit. I'm not interested in having a big wedding for this purpose, I just thought it was an interesting discussion point.