(Closed) Making my BMs wear gloves. Am I wrong?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

how inexpensive are these gloves?

Post # 4
Member
2008 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Eh…  How much did their dresses and shoes cost and how much are the gloves you want them to buy?  If your vision was originally mismatched little black dresses then I don’t think you really have much room to say you have completely catered to them.  Also, I don’t think it’s all that incredible that you’re letting them choose their own style of hair and makeup.  For me at least, that’s a given. 

That said, assuming the dresses, shoes or gloves weren’t really expensive, I don’t think you’re asking too much.  However, I also think buying them would be a VERY nice gesture.

Post # 5
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I don’t think gloves should be such a big deal. as long as their not super expensive.

Post # 6
Member
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Whoa there.  You let them pick their makeup colors.  How considerate of you.  Really?  People should be able to pick their hairstyle (granted if you want it up, they get to pick how to put it up), makeup (since not all of us look good in all colors, nail colors (unless you don’t want vampire red) etc. 

If they’re all in floor length black dresses and the ceremony is in the evening, then you can ask them to wear gloves but mark my words it’s not going to go over very well AND IMO, it looks VERY dated.  I think some of my mom’s friends did gloves in the 1970’s.

 

You can call me snarky, but I’d caution you to let them breathe a bit since I am siding with your BM’s on this one.

Post # 7
Member
2634 posts
Sugar bee

I’d nix the gloves.  I personally don’t like the look, as a pp mentioned, I think it’ll look very dated.

Post # 8
Member
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Are you wanting them to wear gloves because you are afriad of how their nails will turn out?  I think wearing gloves is outdated, but also more of a winter-y thing.  I would not want to be wearing them in September. 

Post # 9
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I wouldn’t say yes to gloves simply because the dresses aren’t the same.  The gloves might look great with some dresses but just awful with the other dresses.  If they were all the same dress then I’d say it would be a very elegant look for an evening wedding.  And I would do gloves only if it went with your theme, i.e. a vintage theme or a winter/fall theme.

Don’t take the BM comments to heart.  For some reason… I’ve noticed lately that there always has to be negative comments from BMs.  Just from the last few weddings I’ve been in.  I don’t understand why.  But I do know that it is how you the bride the “leader” of the group handles it.  So if you pop off to them then you are only going to get that same response back.

Post # 10
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I don’t know the whole story so I don’t know if your requests have been unreasonable. But I think the gloves (whoever buys them) could be cute if done well. Short black gloves would look very cute with black tea length dresses. Very “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”. Yes it is dated but vintage accessories can be fresh and stylish too.

Post # 11
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

If you want them to wear gloves, buy them for them – and consider it another gift.  If you aren’t willing to do this, then no gloves it will be.

I personally think it would look lovely – esp. if you’ll have white gloves.

Post # 12
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

Well, personally I think gloves are very very dated.  However, as a bridesmaid I would wear whatever the bride asked me to.  I don’t think you should use the fact that you let them chose everything else as a bargaining chip.  You don’t need a bargaining chip.  Just ask them to wear the gloves.  If they are expensive, buy them yourself.  However, I dont think a bride should ever tell a BM what makeup colors to us or how to do her hair. 

Post # 13
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Did your BMs pay for their dresses and shoes?  Or did you?  If they had to pay for all of it, then I can understand them being hesitant to spend more money.  Personally, I wouldn’t ask them to have their hair and nails done at a salon unless you’re the one springing for it.  And, I would say no to the gloves.  It sounds like you only did it because you were angry at them.  Is there any one BM who’s compassionate towards you?  Maybe you could talk to her about your frustrations and brainstorm a solution.

Post # 14
Member
465 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I attended a wedding this weekend where the BMs wore champagne colored dresses with a black sash, black birdcage veils, and black elbow length gloves. Too cute!! But it was a very specific look.

If you really want the gloves, buy them..otherwise, your girls have probably shelled out enough money already..

Post # 15
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with Vintage and Miss Cherry.    I’m not sure that gloves would always look outdated, but….. since their dresses are all different, I think it would be tough to know if the gloves would look right with all the dresses they purcahsed.  I would also have an issue if a bride required hair and make up services and expected me to pay.

Yes, it was kind to give them some flexibility to get a a black dress they liked, something they feel they could wear again.  No arguments here.  But I’m assuming they paid for the dresses.  Just because they picked them out, doesn’t mean they have much more money to spend.  And yeah, why do you want their nails done, if you want them to wear gloves?  Honestly, gloves is an extra expense, most BMs do not expect to pay for these days. 

I would vote to go sans gloves.  But if you want them to wear them that badly, pay for them yourself. 

Post # 16
Member
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Littlebug:  That idea sounds so classy!  I really like!

Tams084: I think youve been too nice to your girls!  Just make them wear it, but you might have to buy it!  Sorry

 

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