Post # 1
I’ve completely catered to my bridesmaids the entire time. I let them all choose different dresses that they were comfortable in, and told them as long as its black (bc i know every girl looks good in black). i let them choose their own shoes, hair styles and make up colors! It’s two months before the wedding and they’ve all turned on me. I set up nail appt & hair/make-up appt (which i researched very inexpensive stylists)… and now everyone is bailing. “i don’t have any money” “i have class that morning” “i can’t get my nails done bc i’m in nursing school, but i might get them done at my own salon” AHHH!!! So i gave up… i canceled the appts and told them they can all do their own thing at their own time!
I really wanted everyone to wear black gloves, but i never said anything bc i knew they might not all like them. After everyone pissed me off, i sent out a group email NICELY asking the girls to buy gloves to go with their dresses. Not a surprise, but they’re all bitching again!
Should I give in AGAIN and say no gloves, or stick with what I really want and make them get the gloves.
PS I thought about just buying them all the gloves, but i’ve already spent so much money on their gifts!!
Post # 3
how inexpensive are these gloves?
Post # 4
Eh… How much did their dresses and shoes cost and how much are the gloves you want them to buy? If your vision was originally mismatched little black dresses then I don’t think you really have much room to say you have completely catered to them. Also, I don’t think it’s all that incredible that you’re letting them choose their own style of hair and makeup. For me at least, that’s a given.
That said, assuming the dresses, shoes or gloves weren’t really expensive, I don’t think you’re asking too much. However, I also think buying them would be a VERY nice gesture.
Post # 5
I don’t think gloves should be such a big deal. as long as their not super expensive.
Post # 6
Whoa there. You let them pick their makeup colors. How considerate of you. Really? People should be able to pick their hairstyle (granted if you want it up, they get to pick how to put it up), makeup (since not all of us look good in all colors, nail colors (unless you don’t want vampire red) etc.
If they’re all in floor length black dresses and the ceremony is in the evening, then you can ask them to wear gloves but mark my words it’s not going to go over very well AND IMO, it looks VERY dated. I think some of my mom’s friends did gloves in the 1970’s.
You can call me snarky, but I’d caution you to let them breathe a bit since I am siding with your BM’s on this one.
Post # 7
I’d nix the gloves. I personally don’t like the look, as a pp mentioned, I think it’ll look very dated.
Post # 8
Are you wanting them to wear gloves because you are afriad of how their nails will turn out? I think wearing gloves is outdated, but also more of a winter-y thing. I would not want to be wearing them in September.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t say yes to gloves simply because the dresses aren’t the same. The gloves might look great with some dresses but just awful with the other dresses. If they were all the same dress then I’d say it would be a very elegant look for an evening wedding. And I would do gloves only if it went with your theme, i.e. a vintage theme or a winter/fall theme.
Don’t take the BM comments to heart. For some reason… I’ve noticed lately that there always has to be negative comments from BMs. Just from the last few weddings I’ve been in. I don’t understand why. But I do know that it is how you the bride the “leader” of the group handles it. So if you pop off to them then you are only going to get that same response back.
Post # 10
I don’t know the whole story so I don’t know if your requests have been unreasonable. But I think the gloves (whoever buys them) could be cute if done well. Short black gloves would look very cute with black tea length dresses. Very “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”. Yes it is dated but vintage accessories can be fresh and stylish too.
Post # 11
If you want them to wear gloves, buy them for them – and consider it another gift. If you aren’t willing to do this, then no gloves it will be.
I personally think it would look lovely – esp. if you’ll have white gloves.
Post # 12
Well, personally I think gloves are very very dated. However, as a bridesmaid I would wear whatever the bride asked me to. I don’t think you should use the fact that you let them chose everything else as a bargaining chip. You don’t need a bargaining chip. Just ask them to wear the gloves. If they are expensive, buy them yourself. However, I dont think a bride should ever tell a BM what makeup colors to us or how to do her hair.
Post # 13
Did your BMs pay for their dresses and shoes? Or did you? If they had to pay for all of it, then I can understand them being hesitant to spend more money. Personally, I wouldn’t ask them to have their hair and nails done at a salon unless you’re the one springing for it. And, I would say no to the gloves. It sounds like you only did it because you were angry at them. Is there any one BM who’s compassionate towards you? Maybe you could talk to her about your frustrations and brainstorm a solution.
Post # 14
I attended a wedding this weekend where the BMs wore champagne colored dresses with a black sash, black birdcage veils, and black elbow length gloves. Too cute!! But it was a very specific look.
If you really want the gloves, buy them..otherwise, your girls have probably shelled out enough money already..
Post # 15
I agree with Vintage and Miss Cherry. I’m not sure that gloves would always look outdated, but….. since their dresses are all different, I think it would be tough to know if the gloves would look right with all the dresses they purcahsed. I would also have an issue if a bride required hair and make up services and expected me to pay.
Yes, it was kind to give them some flexibility to get a a black dress they liked, something they feel they could wear again. No arguments here. But I’m assuming they paid for the dresses. Just because they picked them out, doesn’t mean they have much more money to spend. And yeah, why do you want their nails done, if you want them to wear gloves? Honestly, gloves is an extra expense, most BMs do not expect to pay for these days.
I would vote to go sans gloves. But if you want them to wear them that badly, pay for them yourself.
Post # 16
Littlebug: That idea sounds so classy! I really like!
Tams084: I think youve been too nice to your girls! Just make them wear it, but you might have to buy it! Sorry