- 3 years ago
- Wedding: March 1998
I have a much older cousin who is the mother of a 5-month-old baby. Even before she got pregnant, I knew her to be addicted to prescription drugs (usually not hers), often dabbling in other drugs and alcohol as well. She tested positive for opiates when she had her son, but apparently, no trouble came from it. The times I do see her, she is often spaced out and very strange-acting.
She lives with a man who was once married to a family friend (also a friend of this cousin). She left him because the beatings were so awful. Once again, history is repeating itself, and this cousin repeatedly calls the family friend to come pick her up and pick up the baby, only to return home to him on the weekends.
Apparently, my cousin called the family friend (here out, FF) and FF’s boyfriend this past weekend, claiming that she feared she had killed her roommate. They found the roommate caked in blood and unresponsive. FF’s daughter started shouting at my cousin, begging to take the baby away from the house. My cousin responded by picking up her son and throwing him onto a nearby couch, yelling that she wouldn’t be giving him to anybody.
Despite all of this, nobody filed a report. I heard about the incident from my mother and FF, both of whom took a, “She’s crazy, she could come and kill us if it gets out that we reported her…” so they shrugged it off and chose to do nothing.
I always said that I would turn my own sibling in if a niece or nephew were being abused…I can’t imagine why I’d protect someone less closely related.
In my state, I can email the CPS Report. Given the circumstances, I do not wish to include my name, city or state. I set up a Google Voice account and picked a number several states away to put on the form. I have also set up an anonymous e-mail address with something like “CPS CPS” as the name (the email address also isn’t that different), should they need to contact me more.
While I know they’re legally obligated not to give a name, another relative had to deal with CPS when his girlfriend’s parents reported him (after they got into an argument, alleging sexual abuse). He said to the social worker, “It was (her parents), wasn’t it?” He claims she verbally agreed, then told him that she was sure the report was false. If at all possible, I don’t want to risk that…if push comes to shove and they absolutely need a name and address, I’ll consider it then.
I am absolutely going to file a report. I just wondered if any social workers or others involved on the business end of these situations could tell me how often reports are truly anonymous — as in, the reporter doesn’t give up any personally identifiable information.
I figure in the best case scenario, this little boy will be removed from this home and he will have a shot at having a normal life outside of a family of abusers and enablers. In the worst case scenario, they will not investigate until I give more information, or he will get to stay, in which case, maybe his mother isn’t as terrible as I think she is.