Making new friends…how in the heck do you do it?!

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Misdameanor:  I posted something similar to this a while back. I joined a gym, and I am building friendships through there, but what about volunteering or taking an enrichment course? Maybe a cooking class? Or perhaps you could organize something through Facebook.

There aren’t any clubs for me to get involved inl, but I am trying to volunteer as much as possible and join in 5k run/walks, things like that.

Post # 3
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Centro de recepciones Los Incas

sometimes it is hard…. you could try church groups ppl tend to be very friendly and they normally have groups for girls our age….  MEG06s idea about an enrichment course could work, when i moved to peru i had no friends literally except my ex fiance who was very controlling. and i found it hard to meet anyone and make friends… i only here have made friends through school… so taking a course in anything might be a good way to make friends….also like i said if u help out at a local church u will definitely make friends church ppl tend to be super friendly

Post # 4
Member
42490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Misdameanor:  Volunteer, take a class, join meetup groups

Post # 5
Member
1521 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016

I think taking a class is a great option 🙂 The gym is difficult since everyone goes at different times, does different things and there’s not a lot of working together involved. An actual class in something you enjoy might be a little different since you’ll all be learning something together (as opposed to many different fitness levels), you’ll already have a common interest and their might be more opportunity to actually work together as opposed to doing their own thing (not to mention a lot of people don’t really like the gym so while they’re there they might be a little cranky and not in the mood to chat).

Personally, I started a tae kwon do class a little over a year ago and it’s fantastic! I was nervous because I’m not very athletic, but the attitude in the studio is very encouraging and really focused on supporting one another and occasionally working on teams. It takes awhile and is still a bit difficult since a lot of the students are much younger than me (I’m 25), but we have been gaining some new, older students lately. Plus, even with the age difference it’s still fun hanging out with some of the older teens because we’re all at the same level and learning and experiencing everything together.

Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
1634 posts
Bumble bee

Uck, I have the same problem. I always just made friends through work, but I work in the city and live in a small town right outside and would love to meet some friends there, but I dont know how to go about it! I feel like I’ve become more shy with strangers as I became closer to 30.. so weird!

A zumba or bootcamp class would be a good ice breaker… or pole-dancing (or arial silks if pole dancing is a little too risqe for you). Anything that is challenging without crazy loud music would be a good choice, which is why zumba would be tricky, but its SO FUN! lol

ETA – also watch out for “ladies nights” or “shopping parties” held at a public place. We have lots of those where you buy tickets to raise money for a community fundraiser and go shop and have a few drinks! They’re usually on Facebook, or a community bulletin board if you have any nearby (here they’re in a convenience store or community mailbox)

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Charliejeorge.
Post # 7
Member
5012 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Try meetup.com! I had a friend who moved to Texas and she met a ton of new girl friends on that site. 

Post # 8
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I met a lot of new friends by joining in to arts meetups. I was part of a flickr group that met up once a month for a monthly photography challenge celebrating the city, and am still friends with a bunch of the people I met 8 years ago then.

Through them, I started getting to know different arts events and would go to them and met friends of friends. Then I started getting involved in the brewery scene in Houston and met friend through that that led to a huge group of wonderful people and meeting my husband.

So go get involved in your community even once a month. Find something that you want to get involved in and look for the method they use to disseminate information be it through twitter or facebook or something else.

Do you like running? Running clubs abound and are great for making friends because you find a pace group and run with them each meetup and all you do is talk during the runs. Same with cycling.

Post # 9
Member
342 posts
Helper bee

I don’t know if you attend church, but a lot of churches have some sort of “small group” weeknights things. If it’s a big enough church they try to pair people with peers (young marrieds, young parents, empty nesters, women, men, couples, etc).

Post # 10
Member
220 posts
Helper bee

I always met people in chat rooms but I don’t really suggest that as that can be kind of dangerous. Lol

I’ve also heard of this website called meetups.com. you sign up and join these groups for meet ups in your area. You join groups specific to your interests. They do things like dinners, movies, book clubs, etc etc.  They have some for ladies only that you could join.

Post # 11
Member
39 posts
Newbee

I agree with the previous comments regarding meetup.com. Since you are only 29 you can find groups with women around the same age and interests. I find the gym or fitness classes to difficult to make friends but on meetup pretty much everyone is there to make friends. I will say that while meetup makes it way easier, it does take effort and consistently going to events to start building real relationships. Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Misdameanor:  Ugh, so true! Lol. I’m in the same boat. I moved to my FIs home town, and he has a great core group of friends that I get a long with great, but I would love some more friends here. I feel like everyone at our age already has their friends haha.

I joined a workout class and there’s some girls my age, but I have no idea how to approach them without sounded super weird haha.. ‘uhh… wil you be my friend?’.

I thought about going on a friend finder site online… but that could turn out bad lol.. seeing as most sites I know about are hook up sites… awkward. Maybe one of the guys at work has a cool wife? haha.

Sorry, I’m not much help… I’m trying to figure this out right now myself!

Post # 14
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2014

If you like going to the gym, have you looked into CrossFit?  They really do promote the whole “community” aspect much more than a regular gym.

It’s very common for CrossFit gyms/boxes to have a “rule” that if you see somebody you don’t know, you must introduce yourself.  

Most of them also do lots of outside of the gym socialization.

I’ve made lots of friends through CrossFit.  (And I’m in Minnesota–where it’s nearly impossible to make friends with people you didn’t go to high school/college with!)

One word of warning though, CrossFit can be a bit of a “cult.”  But it’s a fun one!  LOL

http://crossfitlongbeach.com/checklist-choosing-crossfit-gym

 

Post # 15
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Whenever I move I tend to make friends in my workout classes.  It’s becoming such a “thing” that my coworkers always ask how many “gym friends” I’ve made when I go to a new city.

I just chat with them about other classes/instructors or ask questions.  Soon enough we are doing brunch after morning weekend classes or grabbing smoothies/drinks after evening classes.

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