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Making the maids buy shoes

posted 2 years ago in Shoes
  • 1 Members Subscribed To Topic
  • poll: Is it too much to ask your maids to buy shoes?
    Yes, no one will notice their shoes but you. You're overthinking. : (34 votes)
    68 %
    No, it's a super cute idea. You're overthinking. : (16 votes)
    32 %
  •  
    1.
    Member
    1,644 posts
    Bumble bee
    Mermaid1082    September 4, 2010   St Louis, MO

    My bridesmaids (7 of them) will all be wearing matching cocktail-length dresses.  I originally planned on having them wear silver shoes, butnavy  the more I plan and the more I see pictures, I really love the look of the mismatched colored shoes on the maids.  Like this:

    Making the maids buy shoes :  wedding Pink Wedding Ideas3 

    We're all carrying flowers in dark pink and purple.  Since they are already buying a dress, would it be too demanding to ask them to buy shoes too?  I'm pretty sure all of them would have to buy new, whereas some may alreday have silver at hand

     
    2.
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    Bee Keeper
    KMSull    August 7, 2010   Lexington, KY (via Atlanta, GA)

    Honestly, I don't really like the way it looks in that picture. What color are your dresses? Do you just like the way this looks, or would silver really look better?

     
    3.
    Member
    3,677 posts
    Sugar bee
    hilsy85    September 2010  

    While they might have silver shoes already, chances are they won't be the same silver shoes, so you might end up with the mismatched look you like anyway. I would ask them their preferences also--some of them might welcome the opportunity to buy new shoes, and others might not have silver shoes or colored shoes and so either way would have to buy new shoes.

     
    4.
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    Bumble bee
    Mermaid1082    September 4, 2010   St Louis, MO

    The dresses are navy with a white sash.  Flowers are pink and purple, so that's where those colors came in.

    I have way too much time to plan.  I overthink everything.

     
    5.
    2,195 posts
    Buzzing bee
    JoesWifey    May 24, 2009   NYC/Wedding in Indiana

    Personally, I prefer the shoes to match BUT I also consider it a small detail so I didn't require my BM to have matching shoes. I don't remember seeing them much in the photos anyways. Even with only 3 women to get shoes for, it would have been hard to find something they all agreed on. I just told them silver (didn't even say what size heel or anything) and they got what they want or wore what they had. Now that I think of it, one BM didnt even get the silver shoes and just wore black I think (dresses were black except MOH who had light pink). Just not that important imo lol Do what's easiest for your girls :)

     
    6.
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    3,755 posts
    Honey bee
    amariem25    October 2009  

    I'm pretty sure that in that picture the bride still asked the maids to buy shoes.  I highly doubt it that all the maids in that photo had shoes that all were around a purple tone.  I'm sure the bride had asked them to buy pink or purple shoes.

    I think it's completely fine to ask the maids to buy shoes, especially since they are wearing cocktail dresses and their shoes will be seen.  Please ask them to buy a specific pair of shoes, or tell them a brand and a specific color in that brand.  I told my maids to get brown or gold shoes and in the end their shoes looked kind of funny because they didn't match with each other.  It would have been best if I had just picked out one pair for all of them to wear.  Keep the shoes inexpensive and it in my opinion it won't be wrong to ask them to buy a pair.  But I would be upset if I was a maid and you asked me to buy a pair of shoes for $50 or more.  So stick with Target or Payless!

     
    7.
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    446 posts
    Helper bee
    fanatic888    10/16/10   Cincinnati

    I love that picture.  Whatever shoes you ask them to purchase, make sure they are comfortable.  I had to buy a pair of shoes as a BM that were absolutely miserable.

     
    8.
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    626 posts
    Busy bee
    starcharades    December 31, 2011   Philadelphia

    I can see asking them to buy a specific color shoe, but I kind of think shoes are a very personal thing. There are certain shoes that hurt my feet more but that other people love. As long as they are going along with whatever color scheme you are going for I think it should be fine. If you want them to get different colored shoes just tell them what colors are cool and let them pick. But no one but you will notice their shoes. Everyone else's eyes will be on you.

     
    9.
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    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    cardigan    January 7, 2011   Austin, TX

    If you like the mis-matched look, just tell them to wear whatever shoes they want! That way, if don't want to buy new ones they don't have to, but they still can if they want.

     
    10.
    14,581 posts
    Honey
    Beekeeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    We did mismatched shoes...i told them "nude, gold, or blush metallic pink all work" and there is not ONE photo where you notice they all have different shoes. But it all went together, you know? And, the girls were comfy all night and I didn't feel bad asking them to spend a certain amount of money--it was up to them.

    Plus...I know I personally cannot wear about 4 different styles of shoes. Slingbacks, peep toes, pumps without ankle straps, and anything 3" and up I simply cannot wear (ok the 3" up i don't wear b/c i'm tall). They fall off my feet, so just make sure you girls actually can wear certain styles!

    I just know i'd be crabby if a bride said "here wear these!" because I'd go "um...they're gonna fall off. I swear"

     
    11.
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    1,579 posts
    Bumble bee
    GirlWithARing    September 5, 2010   Living in NYC, marrying in Philadelphia

    I think it depends on how expensive the dresses were and if you're requiring them to buy other things as well or they need to spend a lot on the bachelorette party, travel to wedding, etc. By themselves, shoes aren't a huge expense if you just specify the color and let them get whatever they like, but combined with all the other expenses of being in the wedding, it might be too much for something that doesn't matter hugely. I think the mismatched look is really cute, by the way!

     
    12.
    Member
    1,644 posts
    Bumble bee
    Mermaid1082    September 4, 2010   St Louis, MO

    I keep going back and forth ... it really comes down to haivng them potentially buy shoes for that one photo op.  Not really worth it, I guess. 

    This is why wedding blogs are DANGEROUS.

     
    13.
    Member
    434 posts
    Helper bee
    luckyyou    March 20, 2010   Philadelphia, PA

    I asked all the girls to wear ivory, buff or tan shoes. I wanted them to all be comfy so I didn't want to pick a shoe, but I wanted them all to be in the same family. If they have something already more power to 'em, if not, there are tons out there that aren't terribly expensive.

    I think the mismaatched look is cute too!! Whatever you do though, remember that no one's really going to be looking at them or their shoes but you. :) Everyone else will be looking at you!!

     
    14.
    Member
    118 posts
    Blushing bee
    MexicanMami    May 15, 2010   San Diego wedding on the bay

    My bridesmaids are buying their dresses and their shoes. I am paying for their jewelry, hair and make up ( as a gift) for them. However, I decided to do the same platinum colored shoe for all of them. They all loved the shoe ( I let them decide which one felt more comfy) I just chose the color.

    Do what you think is best, but remember that they will be wearing the shoes all day and they will have to keep the shoes. Talk to them and see what works best.

     
    15.
    Hostess
    2,638 posts
    Sugar bee
    Blueshoes2    June 2010   PA

    I bought my bridesmaids their shoes as part of their gift.  I got a really good deal on them (less than $20 each)! It is definitely ok to ask them to pay for them though.  It's pretty typical, especially with shorter dresses.

     

     
    16.
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    Sugar bee
    slicey19      

    I voted yes above but I actually wanted to say no. I think it is fine to ask BMs to buy shoes with in reason, I would never expect them to buy $200 shoes but I think $50 or under is reasonable. However, I don't think pink/purple shoes will go with a navy dress and white sash. If your girls had a navy dress and pink sash, I would totally support pink shoes but in this case I think silver would be your best choice and like a pp mentioned, they wil vary if you let them wear silver shoes they already own.

     
    17.
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    1,135 posts
    Bumble bee
    AnamCara    April 10, 2010   Ireland/Connecticut

    I think either works but just had to say - love your wording in the poll...funny funny funny...  (overthinking - it's what we do!)

     
    18.
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    38 posts
    Newbee
    missjbear    May 22, 2010   Pittsburgh, PA

    Bridesmaids already have so many expenses, I don't think it makes sense to ask them to buy new shoes.  No one is looking that closely at their feet, and I think they should be able to wear shoes that are comfortable for them.  Nothing would be a worse than a crabby bridesmaid because she's got blisters!

     
    19.
    Member
    125 posts
    Blushing bee
    Albee    9/25/2010   St. Paul, MN

    If you ask them to buy shoes, at least give them the color and style you want and let them find something in their price range. I was in a wedding once where the bride made us all buy matching silver shoes for $90! They were so uncomfortable we all only wore them for the 15 minute ceremony. We had floor length dresses so no one saw them anyway! That was a painful expense!

     

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