Post # 1
I am in a bit of a dilemma. I have 6 bm in my wedding, 4 of which are close family members and 2 that are close friends. I don’t want any more than 6 because my FH only has 6 gm that he wants in the wedding party and I want an even number of couples! I’m big on symmetry in pictures 😛
I have 2 additional close girlfriends that I really want to be a part of the wedding. They are close with our group of friends and I already feel terrible for not having them as bridesmaids, but I figure I would ask them to be usherettes instead. I still think they may not feel as special or like I don’t care as much about them though.
My colors for the wedding are eggplant and burnt orange (bms wearing eggplant), so I was thinking of having them wear a burnt orange version of the bm dresses, telling them they will be riding on the party bus with us after the ceremony, and possibly having them seated at the head table with us for dinner. I’m just not sure if this is weird or too much, or I am way overthinking this?
But the biggest dilemma is what to do about the pictures? If they come on the party bus with us to go do pictures before the reception, what am I going to do? Ask them to sit and watch while the wedding party takes pictures? I just don’t like the look of having uneven couples in wedding pictures so I don’t really want that. Maybe we could do a few with them and a few without. Is this tacky??
Any advice at how to go about this??
Post # 3
I was honored to be an usherette in my future brother and sister in law when they were married 2 years ago. It made me feel included and loved especially since there was only family in the bridal party.
here’s the thing: You can do whatever you like. They will be honored to be included so much and will most likely be very gracious about not being in some bridal party pictures. To make them feel included, have your photographer grab a shot of the three of you with no one else that is what my sister in law did.
Post # 4
I was married about 4 years ago and I had the matched couples thing because I thought it had to be done to look good.
For me, it was a mistake. I look back now and don’t care at all about it being symmetrical. You could just ask two of them to get different dresses in the other color because you think it would be pretty to have six in one color paired with the groomsmen and two in another color walking together. In pictures, they’d be like bookends; especially if they are good friends with each other, that could be really cute and make for some cute friend pictures. You can even draw randomly from a hat to see who gets the burnt orange so no one feels less special. If color is your only concern, I think this could be a good solution.
If they’re friends with your bridesmaids, it’s could be a situation where it seems like you picked your closer friends to be bridesmaids and your other friends to be lesser bridesmaids, depending on the temperments of the people involved.
Post # 5
I’m only have 2 BMs because I want to keep it super simple – his sister and my female BFF. It’s tricky to choose just her because we come from a larger group of girls that have been friends a long time, and even though we’re not all as close as we used to be I know they’ll likely be a bit sad if they don’t feel included in some way.
I’ve decided that I’ll expain to them why I only chose the one girl: to keep it simple, and because she’s been around the most to know all the history of me and Fiance and because she’s spent enough time around Fiance that the two of them are friends as well. So it’s not “my” bridesmaids but “our” wedding party.
Then I’ll find ways that they can be included in the day (such as your usherette idea). I’ll be sure to thank them individually at the reception and include them in photos.
At the end of the day, a friend will understand.
Post # 6
I’m in the same situation! I’m having 4 BMs, all are my sisters & 1 cousin. I don’t care about symmetry, but I have too many close girlfriends and didn’t want like 8 BMs so I just stuck with family as my wedding party so that I didn’t hurt any feelings.
I think it’s great that you’re thinking about having them dress in your wedding colors, BUT if I were them, I wouldn’t want to spend $$ on a dress when I’m not even a Bridesmaid or Best Man.
I’m having 2 of my girlfriends be usherettes and the other 2 be personal attendants. I’m thinking about asking them to wear black dresses that they already own, and then I’ll buy them a sash or hair piece & boutonniere in our colors.
Just an idea! I feel your pain 🙁 Good luck!