- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
WOW thats crazy - Don't do it if you can't afford it!
Sigh. Leave it to the AJC to report such news! That is tacky, but then again, I feel the same way about potluch receptions... you are inviting people as your guest and because of that, you shouldn't be asking anything in return, especially to feed themselves. But. That's just me.
Ahhhh! That's awful, just plain awful. What is with people these days? A friend of mine just got invited to a surprise birthday party picnic in a park and was asked to pay $25 a head for herself and husband - and last Easter I got invited to a party with an $8 cover, for 10 people in a private home. I mean, sheesh.
I just don’t feel comfortable doing something like that
gross. some people have no shame.
That's pretty twisted. We don't need pots and pans, we want cash and this is how our guests can be involved. Totally trying to rationalized their decision... I guess just having your guests share in your day isn't enough.
im hesitant to judge this couple but i really really WOULDNT give my name and pics out! i dont see anything "savvy" about it and i would rather go without than do something like ths. why dont they just ebay their wedding and get some tacky casino to pay for it
yikes
That's just so rude. If you're inviting people to celebrate with you for a special event in YOUR life, how do you have them pay?
That really blows my mind. I could never ask my guests to do such a thing!!!
I think people like these forget what a wedding is suppose to mean. Though I don't see anything wrong with trades for service if done subtly (no advertisement banners at wedding reception, thank you). I am trading financial services for a couple of vendors. Putting together a QuickBooks program, doing their accounting etc.
If you think about it...what's the difference between them having them pay for the wedding, and them doing a honeymoon registry?
Is it tacky and appalling to have a honeymoon registry too?
If you think about it, atleast this way the guests get to enjoy what their money is paying for. With a honeymoon registry all they get is a picture or two.
I just sent that article to my mom. She is always worried about this or taht being "tacky" at the wedding. Now I will have the "at least we aren't as tacky as those couples making their guests pay for their wedding" retort.
All i know is, if I asked my invitees to help fund my wedding, they'd laugh hysterically and not show up.
thecolorteale: I agree with you..its not much different then asking people to pay for your honeymoon. I don't like either.
I am beyond horrified. Also, I am not in agreement with honeymoon registries either. That's all I've got to say about that.
@thecolorteale- I don't like honeymoon registries either, but I still think they're better than this. The honeymoon registries I have seen are not "pay for our hotel" but rather "buy the couple a romantic dinner for two" or a bottle of wine or a couples massage or something. I think that is different because first, you can always get them a gift off one of the other registries or give cash, and second, it is more like fun treats on the honeymoon vs paying for the whole thing. With a wedding registry, it is almost like... if you guys don't pay for it as guests, we won't have a wedding.
Regardless, I do wish that the tradition in the US was always to give cash for these events because lets face it--- unless it is a very thoughtful/personalized gift, I'd probably rather have cash to buy my own stuff. But, I would never ask for cash specifically. I would tell my parents and bridal party to let people know (if they ask them for opinions on gifts) that cash would be appreciated as we're trying to buy a house.. but thats about the most I'd do.
I don't think I could ever bring myself to do that. I'd rather just have a hyper-small wedding.
agree with the head shaking... that's crazy! i don't have a problem with the honeymoon registries as long as it's in a situation where the bride and groom will be moving after the ceremony. i know of a bride who is moving across country and feels obligated to register, but she's afraid of the amount of money that the gifts will cost to transport to her new home. for her i think some sort of monetary registry is good. i would probably have a help us get settled in colorado fund! i think most guests would appreciate giving a gift that people could use, or they could always register and have guests buy gift cards in the exact amount.
just read the article, what a crock of sh.t! i hate that how do you say oh you're invited, btw the cost is 50.00 your payment must be received by 10/01/10!
I remember when Star Jones had her wedding, she sold sponsorships! It was pretty weird.
I don't think any of our family members would come lol. They're complaining about travelling four hours and one night in a hotel as it is!
That's crazy and RUDE. Then one bride said before the recession she wouldn't have done it, but now she's changed her mind. So she thinks people just have money lying around for HER?
If this couple has any guests, I will be surprised. If I did something crazy like that, I'd have no guests. Even my mom would laugh!LOL
If you can't afford something, don't have it. End of story. That applies to a large number of things. They are your guests and guests should never pay for anything out of their own pockets at the reception. Some people say the argument doesn't apply but do people seriously invite people to their homes and charge them to eat/drink, etc? Hopefully not. As a proper host/ess, you decide what you can afford and you go from there. If that means not having alcohol, then so be it. If that means you can't afford a full meal, then move the reception to a non-meal time and have desserts only. People have been doing that forever since full dinners are a modern thing and even then are still not heard of at all within some social circles. It is ok to cut things out that you don't want or care about to be able to afford what you want. You aren't going to be doomed for divorce if the garter for the toss you don't even want to partake in (and neither do your guests who are mostly all married) doesn't match the bridesmaids' bouquets as an example. People get so caught up in what the magazines and websites tell them they must have and they fail to realize that those things are not important in the end. What is important is being gracious to your guests.
I actually think this is ok, its pretty much the same thing as having a honeymoon or house down payment registry, your just using the money up front instead of after the wedding. Its not like their asking for that and a present. Not that I would ever do it, but I think what their doing is going to happen more frequently. People just might not be so in your face about it as they are.
We're paying for the wedding ourselves, and hope to recoup at least half the money we spent
how did I miss this article when it ran? While I get the theory behind it, I still think some of the referenced methods are in "poor form". I agree with the person above who mentioned Star Jones and her sponsorships. I hate to see a wedding relegated to something similar to a NASCAR event. "I'd like to welcome everyone to the GoodYear, Fuji, Sharpie, Jones-Smith Wedding". I also don't think I'd feel all warm and fuzzy being asked to chip in to pay for a friend's wedding. I'll volunteer my time and crafty skills until I have literally no time left in the day, but asking for a check just doesn't sit right with me.
That said, I can 100% get behind brides & grooms trading something in exchange for a vendor's services. I love that Mrs. Meatball traded office work, etc. in exchange for credit towards her dream dress. I love that Miss Yap above traded her mad accounting skills in exchange for services. I love these sorts of things because it is mutually benefical for everyone involved! I can assure you if any of my vendors needed website work in exchange for a discount I would have gladly found the time to build them something rockin.
I'm speechless...
That is not okay. Scale back & do only what you can afford.
wow...i think i am more weirded out that they used their real names and pictures! LOL!!! well, i dont think i could do this, and frankly, i would decline such an invitation. but if its the norm or a non-issue in your circle, then no judgement. but a wedding is not a right, its a luxury. not being able to afford a wedding is NOT the same thing as not being able to afford to get married. if i had to ask for charity (and bartering services is NOT charity), I would just go to the court house. i would be embarassed, my family would be embarassed....
AND, this is the second marriage for both! which probably means you already got your 'fantasy wedding'. HUH??? i am just really speechless...
I don't think this is anywhere in the same category as honeymoon and/or house registries. I'd MUCH rather give $50 to THAT than to my OWN meal that evening. Silliness. I'll make your cakes and help out bigtime if you want to be frugal but i draw the line at paying someone for my own attendance.
I have "padrinos" which is a tradition in my family. Padrinos are "sponsors" that pay for a certain something at the wedding, the item they choose & the dollar amount they give is 100% up to them. Since this is a tradition that only my side of the family is used to, we are NOT doing this on my FIs side. I did feel a little weird about it, but when all my cousins got married my parents were padrinos for them too, so my parents ensured me that asking for sponsorships is what the family expects & it would almost be weird if we didn't.
HOWEVER, if this wasn't part of my tradition I would NEVER ask my guests for money, just like my FI's side knows nothing about my padrinos (although it will be explained on our program) therefore I didn't ask them for sponsorships.
I think this article is interesting because the wedding is still costing 20K and I have seen many weddings cost far less and be just as beautiful. Due to our tight purse strings, our wedding is 8K and it will be awesome. They def could of scaled down even more to avoid asking guests for money....
I am sorry...I disagree with calling this very different from honeymoon registries. We all know that honeyfund etc all give a sum of cash to the registering couple. The guest may think they are paying for a romantic dinner for two, but that is not the case. Honeymoon/house fund registries are marketing ploys created by geniuses who knew that guests feel offended when asked outright for cash. Such registries are a creative way around traditional etiquette. While the Caldwell couple is being quite brazen in their approach, it really is just one step beyond the honeymoon registry. Moreover, I can't count how many Bees and Bee-loyals on here have continually lamented registering for pots and pans that they don't need, merely to save face. The number is only dwarfed by those brides (or grooms) who tell us each day that they set up one of these alternative cash registries.
Short comment: Let's not be so judgmental. But if we are going to be, let's examine ourselves first.
@heather25...good point. I agree. Its kind of like the stat at the end of the article that said something like 60% of brides thought a cash bar was a bad idea until they had to plan their weddings...LOL!
Agreed, I don't personally see this as being the same as a honeymoon registry - I even kinda wish I had set up a honeymoon registry myself. But some people like them, some don't. Ain't no thing. :)
if i got an invite to that wedding, it would be with a roll of my eyes and quick RSVP of NO. people.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Rivendeler | 14 |
| Suikerbossie | 9 |
| Future Mrs K | 8 |
| janetsnakehole | 6 |
| ellisrobertson | 6 |
| MrsOliveBird | 5 |
| ladyartichoke | 5 |
| NehaPrasad92 | 5 |
| ndreighton | 5 |
| deniselobo | 5 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Miss Godiva | 1 |
| mrsjjohnson2b | 1 |
| ladyartichoke | 1 |
| Future Mrs K | 1 |
| countrygirl62312 | 1 |
| bonkeyball3 | 1 |
http://www.ajc.com/lifestyle/couples-plan-weddings-131781.html
Whoa, this article blew me away! My personal feeling is that if you can't afford the wedding you want, you lower your expectations, your budget, and your pride. I'm planning a wedding on a $5k budget, because that's what I can afford to pay. To ask the guests to pay their way for your wedding is just tacky, IMO. But, that's just my opinion!