Post # 1
I know “male bridesmaid” must sound so strange!
Here is the story:
Alex and I have been friends since we were in kindergarten. So, our whole lives lol. He wants to be in my wedding and I obviously want him to be in it too. Alex is a gay black man (he insists i let you all know he’s black because, apparently, it matters when it comes to fashion and color XD) so of course he asked if he could be a bridesmaid. I am okay with this and he is thrilled. Now, my wedding colors are (for now anyway) dark purple and lavender and Alex says he wants to wear a white tux with a purple tie, which I do think would look STELLAR on him, but he will be the only person aside from me wearing white. I’m not against it at all, like I said I think he would look great, but I’m wondering if it would look odd as he will be the only one (probably in the whole wedding, even guests) with a white outfit.
Im really just looking for opinions and advice for color options. Let me know what you think!
Post # 3
Out of five on each side, we have two bridesmen and one groomswomen. All the women, whether bridesmaids or groomswomen, and all the men, whether groomsmen or bridesmen, will be wearing the same thing.
Post # 4
It’s not strange. A lot of people these days are having bridesmen or men of honor.
As for the colors, the only reason people in the wedding party and guests normally don’t wear white is because the bride objects. The conventional reason for objecting is that if someone wore white, they might be mistaken for the bride, which is clearly not an issue in his case. If you don’t object, there is no reason he shouldn’t wear white.
Post # 5
@KaitKitten: No one will mistake your bridesman for you (the bride), but I feel like a white tux would be too distracting. Can he just wear the same thing as the groomsmen?
Post # 6
what colour are your groomsmen wearing? just trying to get the entire picture. also what type o tuxs/suits are you thinking of?
Post # 7
@mrsrangrang: quite honestly, I’m not sure. I know deep purple and lavender were my choice of colors. My FI said he wants to keep it pretty simple, and I’m leaving the men’s attire up to him so I’d assume he’s just gonna do simple black suits/tuxs with purple accents (ie, pocket handkerchief or flower or ties)
Thats the biggest thing for me, not that I want to be the only one wearing white, but that Alex will be the only male in the wedding party wearing a white suit.
Post # 8
What about a gray tux then? If the groomsmen wear black he’ll be different, but at least blend. I think you’re right that white will just stand out too much.
Post # 9
I think he should wear the same tux as the groomsmen but with a different colour tie, I just think in the photos the white suit is going to stand out not in a good way
Post # 10
@KaitKitten: My maid of honor is actually a “man of honor” (also my gay best friend from sixth grade on). I definitely don’t think this is strange! In fact, I’d say it’s becoming a lot more common. I’m a fan of having your true best friends (male or female) stand up with you at your wedding!
Now on to your question of attire. I personally would not want someone else in the wedding party (male or female) to wear white or ivory, but that’s just me. I’m sure your friend would look fantastic in a white tux, but it probably would be a little distracting for your guests. It also may draw some focus away from you in photos. If this doesn’t bother you, then let him wear the white tux. If it does bother you, though, I’d consider just changing his attire up a bit from the groomsmen so he stands out a little more and is more clearly in the bridal party.
I haven’t even figured out the attire for anyone but myself at this point, and I’m getting married this November! I feel like you have plenty of time to figure this out (if your date is actually June 7, 2014) … Now I’m hoping I have plenty of time! Haha.
I will say, though, that I’ve considered just having my best friend wear a tux that is similar to what the other guys are wearing but choosing different colors for his tie, vest, etc. and giving him a boutonniere containing a flower or flowers used in my bouquet as well as in the other bridesmaids’ bouquets. My fiance doesn’t want a boutonniere (he has terrible allergies), and doesn’t want his groomsmen to have them either. I think since that’s the case, my best friend will end up standing out a little more anyway without being over the top.
Post # 11
@KaitKitten: As far as the colors go, I think Alex should wear the same color/style tuxedo as the rest of the guys. If you want him to stand out a little bit, maybe have him wear a slightly different buttonniere than the rest of the guys. I definitely would not have him wear an ivory or white tuxedo, especially if he would be the only guy in that color.
Also, if you plan on having wedding programs you can always note that Alex is your bridesman. Is the concern that you want a clear delineation between who in the bridal party is standing up for you versus your fiance? Just curious because if so, maybe we can come up with more ideas for you.
Post # 12
I have a male bridesmaid (I call him a bridesman) but he is wearing what the groomsmen wear.
Post # 13
He should wear something that matches the groomsmen unless he’s your best man then he could be slightly different I would just wonder in pics if he would stand out more than your groom as he would match you in white, is your dress white or ivory ?
Post # 14
I can understand why he would want to wear white, because as you said, I’m sure that it would look smashing with his skin tone. But I do tend to think that it will draw the eye too much to him, as everyone else will be in purple. I agree with PPs and think he should wear the same suits as the groomsmen, and have a different boutonniere.
FWIW, my husband had two groomswomen — we put them in skirt suits that matched the men’s (charcoal pinstripe). Yay for having friends of the opposite sex!
Post # 15
KaitKitten ok well i did this up or you on davids bridal website.. not sure if your dude is MOH or just a BH, but i put him next to you. Obviously i dont know anythign about you or your wedding party so i just used the generic people for BM’s and GM’s so please dont be offended. I think the white looks ok, but it does look a bit like he is the groom, rather than a brides man. but honestly its your wedding and what you want. GL 🙂
Post # 16
I’ve got a bridesman too, and so do a few other people I know, so it’s not that unusual!
We’re putting my friend in the same tux as the groomsmen, except he’s wearing a purple tie and vest (to match the bridesmaid dresses). I wouldn’t really recommend having him in white, or he’ll just contrast too much with everyone else and he may look like he doesn’t really belong on either side!