Post # 1
I recently moved, so I’d like to find a new OB/GYN located a bit closer to me. My current one is about 30 minutes away, so not terrible. However, my husband and I are going to be TTC in another month or two, and with the more frequent trips we’ll be having to make to the doc’s office if we’re successful in conceiving, I’d like to find someone closer.
With all of that said, I’ve always had male gynecologists and liked them all just fine.
I’m just wondering, for prenatal/OB care specifically, does anyone have a strong preference of male vs. female? Does one tend to show more patience, compassion, etc.? Or does it really just come down to the individual doctor?
(I don’t have anyone in my immediate area to ask for a recommendation, so I’m currently using ZocDoc to sort through and read reviews.)
Post # 3
@LoveMikey: I can’t speak to TTC purposes, but I can say that I’ve always preferred male OBs. Not to paint all women ones with a broad brush, but then men are typically more gentle when it comes to the physical exams. No matter how many vaginas they see every day, they’ll never have one of their own so I think they have a more tender hand because they don’t want to hurt you. The women (in my experience) know what you can take so they just kinda jam everything up there and have a poke around hahaha 🙂
Post # 4
@MrsCarnival: I totally agree. The female Dr’s are generally rougher when it comes to medical exams. I also saw on the Dr Oz show that apparently male OB/GYN’s spend more time with their patients than female OB’s.
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
With my OB practice, I don’t get to choose. There are 7 OBs, and I’ll see all of them throughout my 9 months. On the plus side, it means that I’ll know whoever is delivering me (they only deliver at one hospital and one of them is always on call). The downside is that I don’t get to choose my doctor.
My point is that it doesn’t matter to me. I prefer women, but I’ve almost always had men. I’ve had two OB appointments, both with the same woman, but she called a man in to help with the ultrasound because he’s better at them than she is. He was perfectly good. Honestly, that put me at ease a bit because he was super, super nice.
Shop around… find someone, or a practice, you click with.
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
I prefer male doctors. Although I am sure female doctors are just asgood and compassionate, I have found that male doctors are gentler during internal exams and they answer my questions more clinically.
Post # 7
I personally prefer an older male doctor for everything. I have a woman doctor at the moment and I have never felt so dismissed in my life.
Post # 8
@MrsCarnival: Hahaha this made me Lol 😛
I have only had one OB, and she happened to be a woman (I chose her based on multiple recommendations) and she is great! I don’t feel anything when she’s down there (I mean, nothing painful) and she always talks me through it and keeps me busy with conversation so I forget about what I’m actually doing. She is also very warm and friendly. So I don’t have any real advice to give other that it shouldn’t matter?
If the OB is good, their sex should be irrelevant. Just my opinion.
Post # 9
This is weird of me to think this since I am in medical school and going to be a doctor myself (someday haha), but I wanted to go to a male because I think guys are better at keeping their emotions in check and thinking on their feet if/when something goes wrong. I can’t explain it and it is probably not true at all, but I just envision myself feeling better in the hands of a male OB (heaven forbid) if there’d be a crisis. My OB is also very close to my house AND has a second office close to DH’s work, so the times that I’ve gotten u/s’s, I usually go to the office close to DH’s work so he doesn’t have far to drive to get there and see the u/s. He also delivers at practically every hospital in my city, so that was nice that I could pick which one I wanted, too. Another thing that I didn’t really think of but really appreciate now are his nurses, u/s techs, and office staff, they are all SUPER friendly and nice, which actually makes a huge difference. He works with a group, so if he wouldn’t be available when I went in to labor I also have heard great things about all of his colleagues.
ETA: I also think guys tend to be a little less judgemental, I have heard some pretty bad stories here on WB from ladies getting some pretty rude comments from female doctors (but then again there has been a bad rant about a male doctor here and there, too). I also think that if a male went in to OB, he has to be EXTREMELY passionate about it since it is such a female-dominated field. I think it is way easier for females to gravitate to that specialty, so a male doing OB-GYN probably absolutely loves what he does. Also probably no validity to that, haha, but most males in my class are like…hells to the no, get me AWAY from the vaginas!
Post # 10
@MrsRugbee: That’s interesting! My pregnancy didn’t make it far enough for me to see anyone outside of a nurse for the blood test, but the woman who examined me at urgent care when I was miscarrying was SO ROUGH and so insensitive and dismissive. Darling Husband was in the room and I thought he was going to snap with the way she treated me. Obviously my one experience isn’t representative of all Doctors, but I much prefer the exam experience with men.
Post # 11
I don’t particularly care but I’ve had a lot more male OBGYNs than females and they all seem just fine.
Post # 12
I have an older male OBGYN, and he’s pretty good. Not too emotional, but helped me through my ectopic and my early MC in assuring me where was nothing I could have done and it was in no way my fault, etc. I have to admit, I am surprised to hear that most of you would prefer a male. I started going to mine because my mom went to him, and I’ve been going to him since I was 16 so I’ve never known any different. But a lot of my friends think it’s weird that I go to a guy lol. Glad to know I’m not the only one who goes to (and actually prefers) a male gyno.
Post # 13
My female GP is very gentle when it comes to physicals and she explains everything very well and makes me feel at ease however she is fairly new out of school so she hasn’t built up any “bad habits”, I was kind of sad that I couldn’t have her deliver my baby haha, but I’ve since been transferred to a male OB who is a very sweet man and answers any questions I have. He is very funny, has great bedside manners. I’ve yet to deliver and the odds of my OB being on call when I do is super low, but I’m happy all my pre-care has been with him. When I’m actually delivering, the OB themselves literally don’t do anything except come in and catch the baby as it crowns so they aren’t a huge part of your delivery, besides in the moment I don’t care who catches my baby as long as someone does lol.
I could see a female OB, especially one that has children of her own being much much less sympathetic because as women, once we’ve been through something we seem to think it was no big deal and other women should be able to do it without complaining too.. which could lead to someone being less understanding or take major pregnancy symptoms more lightly than a male doctor might?
Post # 14
I much rather prefer male doctors, as many PPs have said, because they tend to be more gentle.
Post # 15
@LoveMikey: From personal experience with gynos (not TTC), I prefer men… but gay men if I can find it! 🙂 I feel weird with straight men looking at my stuff… but I have a friend who is a gay OB/Gyn and he referred me to another. Like others have said, I find the women I’ve been to are rougher and not as caring. I feel like they think ‘well if I can do it….’ Well apparently your vagina is made of stone, lady, cause that HURTS!
Post # 16
Originally I was looking for a female, but I ended up with an older male and he is the BEST doctor. I love him. I am super surprised that most PPs are saying male. Amongst my friends and coworkers (yes…people discuss this at work, ugh) almost everyone is creeped out by the idea of a male doctor.
My doctor plastered pictures all over the ceiling of male celebrities with their shirts off, haha. He ripped them out of magazines and glued them up there so that the patients would have something to look at.