mama bear's instinct?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@sasi:  What does your husband say about this? If your gut is saying something, listen to it.

I’m a new mommy too but luckily my family is not as intrusive. I’m a big believer of what’s called the “polite spine”.

 

When they make comments about you feeding her, respond “This is they way I was taught at the hosptial by liscensed doctors. Thank you for your concern but I’m medically correct” or sometingl ike that.

If she demands to feed the baby say “I’m going to feed her now because this is our bonding time. Maybe next time you can”

As for babysitting, she is too young for them to do it. Do not be afriad to tell them ‘I’m sorry but right now that’s not possible”. You owe them no explination.

Talk to your OB sister or google how to deal with intrusive relatives with a newborn.

Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee

This is the first baby – first grand child syndrom. This is something that will go away with time. I’ve been through this.  Its hard.  Just do your mom thing and put your foot down with them. That’s all you can do.  

As far as your MIL going into the room and sitting in a chair by your baby while it slept, i don’t see what the big deal is. Maybe she just wanted to watch the baby sleep?  

As far as not wanting to let people babysit and spend alone time with your baby, you will have to bring that wall down sooner or later. You can’t protect your child and be there 24/7.  You are a first time mom, these feelings will subside with time.

Post # 5
Member
1125 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Ugh! In-laws! My MIL used to come kiss by baby’s head and hold his hands and feets WHILE I WAS BREASTFEEDING!

Talk with your husband, set clear limits according to your level of comfort and act as a team with both your families. Be polite, but firm.

 

Post # 6
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

oh sounds so much like my MIL she even now and my son is 2 smothers him she used to hold him like she was breastfeeding him even now she does it constantly prodding and poking him and trying to take over him changing his nappy smothering him in cream head to toe because it smells nice. i remember once we where going a walk down the street with my DH DD MIL and FIL and she stood and the door tight grasp of the buggy for a full 10 mins while we all got ready then proceded to walk way in front of us wouldnt let me have the buggy what so ever! constantly tell me how to do stuff. i nod and agree and then do my own thing i brought up my DD alone when i was 17 and shes turned out perfect!

just smile grit your teeth and do your own thing but if they are really annoying you you have to put your foot down otherwise it just gets worse as i know lol.

Post # 7
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@mommytobee:  oh god my MIL used to do that even tho i didnt breastfeed shed be right next to me she might aswell be sitting on my knee she was that close stroking his leg kissing him etc. cant imagine how akward it would be for you!

Post # 9
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@sasi:  Well until their behavior improves, they can come see the baby on YOUR ‘turf’. I say for the next couple of weeks, have them come over your home to see her and make sure your family is there.

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