- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
Sorry about the blank post. It wiped out what I typed for some reason…
It seems like I only ever post on Family. I wish my focus was more on wedding planning but I’m still trying to get my head around costs and vendors and between my Fiance family and my mother they really suck the fun out of stuff.
My mother is crazy– I’m not saying that to be mean I’m saying that because its honest. She’s most likely bi-polar, refuses to get evaluated and go to counseling. She’s a messy housekeeper and a bit of a hoarder. She’s irresponsible with money. She’s also a fanatical catholic- this happened later in life. She got involved in pro-life stuff when I left for college to combat the empty nest. It got weird.
I grew up with her being crazy so for the most part its normal to me. She recently told me that all the catholics that attend my wedding will be committing a “mortal sin”, and that I am da*%ing them and myself to h*ll. This is a fairly normal crazy conversation and when she gets mean, I get mean as well. We fight, we hang out, later we act like nothing happened, and then repeat. Its a sad cycle but its what we do. I can’t do anything else because she refuses to get help. I could avoid her and sometimes I do but I know she has mental problems.
Anyway, I’m ok with her not attending the wedding. I know that because its not catholic it bothers her a great deal. I hope that she will come to the reception but she might not and I’m ok enough with that. By The Way she talked to “three priests” that told her she couldn’t come to the wedding.
I’m NOT ok with never talking about my wedding. She might not like how I am going about it but its STILL going to happen and its a big thing in my life. I’m ok with not talking about the cermony but talking about a DJ or a caterer really shouldn’t lead to a catholic, going to hell, conversation. I’ve asked her to not talk about fight driven conversations before and she said that I’m asking her to “lie” instead. Again, crazy and all that, but I’m still going to talk about my wedding.
It really sucks that both my mother and my Fiance family are unsupportive. I wish I had someone to help us.
I understand to a point where your coming from. My maternal side is very religious, and even though my mom pretends she doesnt care, I know she does. She is very liberal, and they are NOT. My grandma (her step-mom, but only real mom she knows) told her a few weeks ago she needed t be “saved”. Usually the convo has nothing to do with religion. I hope your mom gets help. I doubt she realizes she is giving good catholic people a bad name. (BTW my Future In-Laws are Catholic, and would NEVER push it on our wedding… other things are pushed in appropriate amounts, but its more worry than crazy.)
@weeonebride: If it helps at all I’m not saying all catholics are crazy. I have several wonderful catholic family members who really represent what faith and religion should be…. my mother is crazy, not specifically because she’s catholic, but because she’s crazy. She uses relgion as a tool/outlet/justification for her to illogical/irrational/inappropriate thoughts, behavior and actions. She also uses it as a means to judge people. Again, not saying all religious or catholic people are like my mom.
Also wanted to add that want got me all upset is my mom asked me to not speak about any part of my wedding at all to her. n_n I put that in the orginial post but I think it got deleted somehow. I don’t mind not talking about certain parts of the wedding but its ridiculous that she thinks she can forbid me from speaking about my wedding like it won’t happen. I know she’s crazy, I do, but sometimes knowing that just doesn’t help. I feel cheated in the mom department and with my Future Mother-In-Law hating me because I’m not dutch I’m just bummed.
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