- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
So, before even getting engaged (shortly after my fiance and I went to look at rings together, in fact) I happened to visit my mom and I couldn’t hold back my excitement in telling her about how we had gone to look at rings.
I was sure that she would be excited for me, but instead I was given the most depressing response- more or less, I was told that she and my father would not be helping pay for the wedding at all. They adore my fiance, couldn’t be happier for us, they just don’t have the money to help. In fact, I was then told that I would be better off eloping and saving my money.
I was upset, but I got over it. My fiance and I are perfectly capable of paying for the bulk of our wedding, so I really don’t expect them to help.
Fast forward to dress shopping. I’m studying Fashion Merchandising. I recognize a good quality garment when I see one. I recognize a bad quality garment when I see one. I’m not trying to be a snob, but I’m not willing to settle on my wedding dress.
I have found a few beautiful gowns that are within my $1,500 budget, but when I have told my mother that my budget is so high (in her eyes), she just criticizes me. She makes comments like “Well, if you were willing to buy a less expensive dress…” or “I thought you were on a budget” or “Sister X only spent $100 on her dress.” etc.
It’s hard to explain, but the tone of her voice just gives me the impression that she thinks I’m picking a more expensive dress just because it’s “expensive”. I’m not trying to spend more to be “fancy”. I’m not trying to be over the top. I’m trying to find a beautiful dress that is within MY budget, and I’m actually passing up a lot of dresses that I love MORE because they are genuinely outside my price range.
Thus far, my mother has not come to look at dresses with me, and I am really considering not asking her to come see me try on dresses until I start having my fittings. She hasn’t really acted upset about not being able to come (in fact, she’s been invited a few times but hasn’t been able to make it), and I just don’t think I could handle any negativity when it comes to the price of a dress that SHE ISN’T PAYING FOR!
Any other Bees feel this way? Did anybody avoid bringing their mom for one reason or another?