mama mama dress drama

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should I tell FMIL I prefer her to not wear pink?
    Yes : (15 votes)
    63 %
    No : (9 votes)
    38 %
  • Post # 3
    2962 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @SparkleBee11:  Okay I’m a little confused on how you’re wording the question? I thought she wanted to wear blue and you worded the question “Should I tell FMIL I prefer her not to wear pink?”

    Anyways to answer your question, I wouldn’t say anything at all. How would she know your mom is planning to wear blue on the wedding day? I would just let them show up and see. She can’t change what she’s planning to wear at the wedding once she gets to the wedding.

    Post # 4
    2657 posts
    Sugar bee

    Tell your FMIL that you respect her opinion, but that you are ok with both wearing some shade of blue.  It’s your wedding, these are your pictures, and it’s your mom’s dress choice to make.  Your FMIL can deal with more than one person wearing blue at the wedding.

    Post # 5
    498 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Your FMIL has no right to dictate what colour your mother is wearing, but at the same time you shouldnt tell your FMIL what colour she said wear.

    Just tell her that everyone is just going to wear whatever they like/feel comfortable in and if your mother wants to wear blue than she can. Maybe mention it will look better in pictures and that they would be different shades.

    My bridal party wore purple, my mom wore purple and my MIL wore purple , they were all different shades.

    Post # 6
    374 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @SparkleBee11:  From what I’ve heard (who knows if it’s actually true) but the MOB is supposed to pick out her dress first, and then the MOG is then to get her dress based off what the MOB gets, so that they complement each other.  So your mom should get to wear whatever color she wants.  If your mom likes the navy dress, I’d say tell her to get it and FMIL can wear another shade of blue (heck, I think another navy dress would be fine). 

    Sorry you have to deal with that drama! 

    Post # 9
    2322 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @SparkleBee11:  I’d probably say something like “my mother already bought a navy dress that she loves but I feel so bad that you don’t want to wear blue also since it was your first choice.  Please wear the color you like best!  You can choose a different shade of blue if you don’t want to match my mother but I think you look gorgeous in blue and I’d be so happy to see you in something you truely love.”  It’d be tempting to add “also I loathe pink” but fight the urge 😉

    Post # 10
    2962 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @SparkleBee11:  Okay thanks for clearing that up for me. I understand now! I would word it like @jennmariee:  said. I hope it doesn’t boil into a huge issue between the two of you though.


    Post # 12
    1747 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Why don’t you just tell your FMIL what she wants to hear … and then let your Mom wear whatever she wants? Unless the two of them are communicating about it on their own…I see no reason to even broker the conversation. 


    My MIL wore black (sparkly black) and my Mom wore blue. Neither color was in my color scheme (which was plum and ivory) and I just didn’t care…the pictures still look beautiful IMO!


    Post # 13
    247 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @futuremrsgo:  I’ve heard this too. ESPECIALLY if the brides family is paying for the wedding. For my sisters wedding my mom picked her dress first and then the grooms mom picked. My mom wore a black dress and his mom wore burgundy. I thought most of the time the mothers don’t match…but that’s just what I’ve seen. 



    Post # 14
    1793 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I am going on my fourth rodeo as a MOB.  I absolutely detest the very old idea that MOB picks first and MOG must choose afterwards to compliment.  I think it is rude and horse poo.  I have never coordinated with the MOGs and don’t intend to next Summer.  Why?  I think it treats MOG in an inferior and rude manner, and she is just as important as I am.

    That whole idea comes from a few generations ago when the MOB planned the entire wedding and the couple showed up.  It was the make or break event for a MOB’s social status and standing.  Screw up your DDs wedding and the old bitties in your circle will talk crap about you forever.  MOB chose her gown first because it really was her shindig and she was the hostess.  Ever heard the phrase, “MOGs are supposed to shut up and wear beige?”  Well this is where it comes from!

    OP – I really wouldn’t worry about the pink.  I do agree that your FMIL is being a pill, but let it go.  I can tell you that none of my daughter’s have had any say in my MOB outfit, and #4 won’t either.  Your pictures will tell the story of who was there and what a wonderful day it was, not if it was color coordinated out to the nth degree.

    There is no other event where we try to color coordinate our pictures and I am a firm believer that it stops past the wedding party.  Let it go and let go of the stress!!

    Post # 15
    26 posts
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I don’t think your FMIL should dictate what color your mom can wear… try to follow @jennmariee’s advice. It’s the best way to make everyone happy

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