Post # 1
I have been engaged for 8mts now, our wedding isnt for another year and a half so i havent asked anyone to be in the wedding yet. I have a best friend MALE who i have known for over 13 years. We had already discussed having him as a Man of Honor, but im not sure if he would fullfill all the “Maid-of Honor duties” ie- fluff dress, help in the planning process etc… I have a female friend who i know would do an amazing job BUT i did make a packt way back when we were kids that he would be my maid of honor (i would feel guilty, even if he didnt mind, that i left him out). Now hes asking if he is still being the “man of honor” im not sure what to do. the Fi isnt to fond of the idea of having a, as he calles it “miss matched wedding party” he is 3 brothers and 1 sister (so i said she could now stand on his side) so it would be mine on my side and his on his side –
If we go with the traditional boys on one side girls on the other what do i do with my MAN of HONOR situation?
nix the idea?
how do i tell him i picked someone else?
Can i have a Maid and Man of honor- if so how would that work?
Post # 3
I don’t see why you can’t have both a man and maid of honor. It’s clear your male friend is important enough to include in your wedding party, but he may not be able to do all of the typical “maid of honor” things. And I think mixed gender wedding parties are becoming more common. Right now, my FI and I are considering whether to include his sister with his side of the party. If we did do that, she’d walk and stand with the groomsmen but would be dressed like the bridesmaids (though maybe in a different color dress).
Post # 4
Man of Honour and Maid of Honour would definitely be the way to go!
Post # 5
I think you should have your male best friend be your man of honour if both you and your friend want it! I really like the idea of his sister standing on your groom’s side so the wedding party would still be balanced and your FI would be happy.
Maybe you could ask your female friend to help you with the “girly” part of MOH duties (like helping you with the gown) and your male friend would do the others? Take both your male and female friend out to dinner and ask them how they’d feel about dividing their duties so nobody is offended.
Post # 6
i voted yes. I think its your special day and you are allowed to have your friend wherever you want 🙂 besides you can hurt him by not allowing it, you can always have his sister help you get dressed and such.
Post # 7
I’m having a Gentleman of Honor. I might also be having a bridesman (haven’t decided yet), and since we’re only having 2 each that would be my whole side. FI is having a Best Man and a groom’s woman. I don’t think the matchy matchy visual is the most important thing about picking a bridal party; the most important thing is having the people closest to you standing at your side supporting you.
I know my GOH isn’t as in to wedding planning as a MOH might be, but he does talk to me about it. I keep him updated on my progress and bounce ideas off of him and he does give me feedback. He’s not going to be able to do everything a MOH is supposed to do, but a big part of that is that he lives in Europe right now and thousands of miles puts a cramp in anybody’s efforts help.
I say if they are that important to you, they should be there standing at your side regardless of gender or tradition norms.
Post # 8
@jeepers8505: Sure, I don’t see a problem with having both! 🙂 Sounds cute to me!
Post # 9
I just wanted to thank everyone who commented so far with all the positive said things and the diffrerent ideas I LOVE the idea of having a Maid-OH and Man-OH, Taking both to dinner to ask would be awesome THANKS so much for that idea 🙂 I hope to hear more ideas and positive feedback
Post # 10
I agree, Man of Honor AND Maid of Honor!! Have FI’s siblings all stand on his side–Groomsmen and Groomswoman.
Post # 11
I see nothing wrong with having both!
Post # 12
Thank you all so much! I only asked a few in my family what they thought and they all threw the idea under the bus being so “taboo” as they say. I just want my people with me and his people with him, gender should not play a roll on where you stand i like the idea of mis-matched sides. Now I just need a way to ask both of them to be my MoH’s 🙂 Should i ask one at a time or both?……..What do you think? My male friends new Fi does not really like the idea of us both going out to dinner together or what not, so im not sure how to have a private talk with them to ask them to ask to be my MoH’s…Ideas???
Post # 13
I’m having both a “Man of Honor” and a Matron of Honor at my wedding. I’m excited to do something different! My FI is also having a female friend from college on his side. 🙂 She will wear the same dress that my girls are wearing and my Man of Honor will wear the same as the groomsmen.