(Closed) Man Seeking Engagement Ring Advice

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I would much rather have a smaller stone in the gem that I love, than a larger one in another gem.  She will love it, and appreciate all of the time and effort you spent finding the perfect ring!

Post # 4
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Congrats on the impending proposal! You’re so sweet to work so hard to make your future wife happy with her ring πŸ™‚ I think ultimately you are going to know much better than we will about how she will feel about the size of the stone. From what you’ve said (she doesn’t care for diamonds, likes smaller jewelry), it sounds to me like she’d probably be touched that you got her her favorite stone and won’t mind the size at all. If it is something you’re worried about though– perhaps talk to a good friend of hers for advice? My husband went to my best friend for advice about my ring and I’m so glad he did πŸ™‚ 

One last night— before buying the stone I’d just email the people with the setting to make sure that the size wouldn’t be an issue. Good luck!

Post # 5
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree with CorgiTales.  It’s super sweet that you want to get her favorite stone, but look at her other jewelry and maybe ask a friend/sister of hers with similar style.  Is she the type who wants more punch for her buck, or does she really like very delicate jewelry?  A 1/3 carat stone, especially in a bright color, is not going to be sneered at by any means, so as long as you know she’d love a ring like that, I think you’re in business.  Also agree about talking to a jeweler to see about cushion cut stone in round setting, and the size issue (I’m guessing the second won’t be a problem at all).  Good luck!

Post # 6
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Congratulations! I think she would love that given your description of the type of jewelry she likes!  Longer fingers can make the stone look smaller but it sounds like that will not be a problem at all.  I haven’t seen Blood Diamond but there are options that I have heard to that don’t involve whatever is in that movie.  They’re called conflict-free diamonds, I don’t know how much they cost though.  Another option many of the ladies on here have is called moissanite, which is also a clear stone.  A third option for white stones is a white sapphire.  You might want to ask someone if she wants a colored stone or a colorless stone.  Some women like colorless because it goes with everything (I’m one of those) and some don’t care either way.  From the sounds of it, she will be happy with whatever you choose, I just wanted to throw those out there for thought.  Good luck!!!

Post # 7
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i really dont think you will get a much larger stone than that if you go with rubies, sapphires, or emeralds. In fact, probably much smaller – unless you get a synthetic stone which doesn’t sound like something you want to do. The only way you would get a larger stone is with a semi precious gem such as topaz, citrine, garnet etc.

Would it be a complete no-no for you to discuss preferences with her? That way you would know whether you’re on the right track or not. I know some girls would love a surprise but I know I would have been very upset if my fiance had proposed without asking my preferences about the ring I will wear for the rest of my life.

Good luck!

Post # 8
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

You are going to be a fabulous husband. Good job.

Post # 9
1314 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

First off, you’re seriously adorable. 

My advice might be a little different than most brides will give you-but here’s my piece.

Fiance and I are also college students, but Fiance had been saving for my ring for years (we’ve been together 6 years, since we were 15…an aside). I’m sure you’ve heard of the bigger diamond vs. smaller, quality diamond debate. I wanted a bigger diamond with lower quality. Fiance went the other way around and got me a smaller diamond that is of superb quality. Although it isn’t exactly what I wanted, I’ve grown to love it. I love him and just knowing that he chose it because he loves me is enough to make me love this ring. I guess I told you this story to reiterate what you said- that she’ll love it no matter what it is. πŸ™‚ 

For your specific situation, since it’s a colored stone, I would go with smaller and get her the alexandrite that you know she loves. πŸ™‚ In terms of the band- you may want to talk to one of her friends and see if she likes plain bands or detailed/unique bands. Unless, of course, you already know this. The band you picked out is gorgeous, but a lot of girls are sticklers on plain bands (myself included). 

Also— have you checked out moissanites…? They look just like diamonds (and sometimes prettier, but they are more ethical). Does she like the look of diamonds, despite the ethical issues? If so, moissanite might be the way to go. 

Post # 13
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Oh wow, I love the band you picked out. It’s incredibly unique and still simple. I would go with that band.

I also like the idea of getting a smaller alexandrite. The fact that you are aware it is her favorite stone is amazing. She definitely doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would rather have a larger stone just for the sake of it being big.

You are definitely sweet, and I think WB would be a better place if there were more boys around. Smile

Congratulations to you both! Be sure and update us.

Post # 14
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Have you checked etsy? If you find a setting you like, they could probably just use an alexandrite stone instead. The shops on etsy are usually more cost effective and you are supporting independent business! Here’s one I found after a quick search 


Post # 15
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think the new choice is gorgeous but I still like the other one because it sits lower.  Sometimes a high sitting ring will catch on things and get beat up pretty quickly.

Post # 16
5547 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

1) I think it is precious you came to a mostly female wedding site for advice about your gf.

2)If you know she likes a certain stone, even a smaller one of a stone she likes, get that one, it shows you pay attention. πŸ™‚

3) I may be biased because the ring I really hope my bf gets me is like the trinity knot one, but that one is amazing. Though all your options look awesome. The issue for 18k versus 14k is that if she doesn’t wear much jewlery or is hard on it an 18k ring is softer and easier to bend/dent which for me being as clumsy as I am is a big issue. But many women are capible of actually controlling their fine motor movement, something I seem to lack, so it may not be an issue for her. 

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