- 6 years ago
- Wedding: February 2014
We finally told my parents/Mr. Lovely Owl’s parents we’re engaged last night.
Gosh, it went over well with Mr. Lovely’s side. His mom made a touching phone speech about how much she loved me and welcomed me into her family. His mom and I haven’t really been close so this was great. It made me feel really welcomed.
I wish I could say the same for my parents. I emailed them first to let them know, and told them to call me after they had thought about it a little. I knew if they had responded immediately on the phone, it would have been even uglier.
My mom said a tentative “Congratulations…!” when she called, but proceeded to interrogate me as to why I was engaged, what I was thinking, how i expected to pay for a wedding, when my date was, why I liked Mr. Lovely Owl…my dad chimed in at one point and told me I was being a hypocrit because my best friend recently got married at 22 (after 1.5 yrs with her bf) and I was not on board with it. Main difference here is that Mr. Lovely Owl and I will have been together for 3.5 years when we get married, and I will be 25. Not dissing marrying young or soon in the relationship, but personally I wouldn’t do so.
My mom told me she was glad we will have a long engagement because it would give me more time to consider my decision and see how things turn out. She made it seem like nothing is different now that we are engaged–like it’s just an extension of dating and can be revoked as needed. I take it way more seriously than that–I’ve told my man that I’ll marry him! I’ve committed to loving him for life! It would be against my morals to go back on that. She didn’t get it, though, and made me feel terrible.
When I told her Mr. Lovely’s mom wanted to have an engagement party over here (we live by his fam on the east coast, my fam is on the west coast) and I wanted to have one in CA too, she said “Oh. Hm. Yeah, maybe.” And when she found out I was starting to plan the wedding/asking my best friends if they’d be bridesmaids, she scoffed at me and said it was pointless to plan now.
So needless to say, I was pretty hurt. They ended their enthusiasm-crushing speech by claiming that they’ll be happy if I’m happy and they’re just parents, what can they do? Which is ridiculous, because my best friend’s parents were so happy when she got engaged, because they trusted her and knew she was mature enough to handle it.
Now I feel like I’m stupid for starting to plan it now…mostly I’m doing it because we have no money and need to know how much to save! It seems practical. :[
Oh well, at least my sister was happy.