Post # 1
The wedding is coming up FAST, and everything seems to be going, if not wrong, then very much not as planned.
1: We chose our date carefully so as not to coincide with ANY festivals or sporting events. We booked it when there were none. Googled it today, and…lo and behold, someone snuck in a largish sporting event. It will change prices on our hotel block to “event weekend” prices.
2: Speaking of the hotel block, they seem to be set up for Saturday weddings. I’m not getting married on a Saturday. This confused the person we spoke with, who first looked like something in her head short-circuited, and then was unwilling to tell us if we were even able to block rooms. I don’t know if this is the case across the board. (Note: I don’t think I’ve left this until too late; I have tons of options on that front…unless they all decide blocks are only for Saturday weddings.)
3: I might not get to have a rehearsal, which sucks, because I don’t know what I’m doing. The venue coordinator says that someone is having a wedding the day before mine. Since that’s Saturday at the peak of wedding season, I can safely say “no shit.” But they apparently rented the place for the whole day, so we can’t squeeze one in like I thought we’d be able to (don’t weddings usually have something like a time limit?). I don’t know if I can wrangle my wedding party on Friday. And, come to think of it, since that’s the peak of wedding season anyway, there’s probably someone else who’s rented out the venue for the whole day then, too.
4: My bridesmaids still don’t have dresses. They’re both difficult to fit and the color I want them in isn’t easy to find.
5: I didn’t actually know that Save the Dates were A Necessary Thing; I sure as hell have never received one for any wedding I’ve ever been to. I never sent any out, and a lot of our family is from out of town. My line of thinking tends in the line of “I’m just not special enough” even when I’m not getting married. Now I’m afraid that this wedding just won’t be worth their time and money.
I know I can’t be the only person who had things planned to go a certain way and is now having them going completely differently. I also can’t be the only one prone to anxiety. How the heck does anyone else manage it? I’m sorry my first official post here isn’t a happy one.
Post # 3
I’m getting married on a Sunday in June too 🙂
Aw, first, take a deep, deep breath. Things are going to work out. You are going to have a beautiful wedding. Unfortunately, some things are out of our control- like the major sporting event being scheduled the weekend of your wedding, or not being able to have a rehearsal on the day before. (We may not either!)
My suggestion: make a list of things you CAN work on to change these anxieties. Contact other hotels about blocks. If you aren’t sending out invitations for a bit, maybe send an email to relatives as a sort of Save the Date.
On the bridesmaid dress front, I highly recommend writing a seperate topic on here- I am sure someone can help you. I am curious; what color do you want? I was dead set on having mine wear mint green dresses. It was impossible to find, so to make it easier, I just went with teal dresses.
You’re not alone! Wedding planning is stressful, and when it rains, it pours.
Post # 4
There’s no rule saying you can’t do the rehearsal on Friday, or even Thursday. Even if some of the wedding party can’t make it, at least you and the other major players can block it out, and then maybe write notes for the others and walk through them at the rehearsal dinner.
StDs aren’t necessary by any means, but if lots of people are from out of town, it might be a good idea to email them (and call anyone who doesn’t have email) in advance of the invitations. It’s not too late to do that now.
Post # 5
@SuspiciousCoconut: Can you have your rehearsal the morning of? That’s what we’re doing since there’s a wedding the night before our wedding.
You can’t control sporting events, etc. so stop worrying about the things you can’t control – it’s just counter productive and not worth the stress.
I’d let up on your “vision” for the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and just pick something sooner rather than later. It took me forever to find what I envisioned and I never actually found that – I Just had to give up the vision because after months and months of searching, clearly what I wanted didn’t exist.
Post # 6
@SuspiciousCoconut: Everything you said sounds almost exactly what I experienced…. Difficulty with getting a hotel block because though our wedding is a Sunday, hotels were still completely full and blocked in our area because of all the Saturday weddings, we are also having our wedding in a destination/vacation area and the only hotel I could eventually find gave us rooms that were so expensive, I felt guilty offering them to our out of town guests. Many of our guests are just getting cheaper hotels that are farther away. That sucks, but at least they’re still coming.
I also picked a bridesmaids color that was so weird I couldn’t find it anywhere…. And when we did eventually find a dress and order it, the color isn’t really what I expected it to be and I think they dresses are kind of ugly, but it was too late to do anything about that, so I’m just having to deal. Based on this, I’d say that as much as I loved having a unique color, it’s really easier overall if you just go with a more common one. I really wish I had.
And my officiant, who is a friend of my Mom’s who normally books like 4 weddings a year managed to take a random wedding for the day before ours, so now we have to have a rehearsal in the morning, and I’m not sure if we’re going to be allowed in our venue to do it or not. Plus I hate being the wedding that comes second, I’ll worry that the two ceremonies will get confused…. Probably won’t happen but still obnoxious.
So I guess I have to say, what you’re experiencing is totally normal. NOTHING goes 100% to plan. I know this is cliche advice, but what more can you do than focus on the positives… You’re marrying the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. At the end of the day, how much does it matter if the dresses weren’t exactly the right color? At least you had great friends and family wearing them. This is what I’m telling myself, because I too have a huge tendency to overstress. Now I’m having nightmares like every night. But I’m trying to stay focused on what’s really important, and that’s that in one month, I’m going to be officially married to the man I love.
Post # 7
@MrsWBS: Morning rehearsal isn’t an option, since our ceremony is at 11:30. I don’t know how I’m going to get ready AND set the reception room up at the same time (especially since I’m supposed to be getting ready somewhere other than the reception room), but I’m trying to not think about that one until closer to day of (largely because I have to worry about the hotel block before I can even think about getting ready in a hotel room).
I don’t even know what my vision for bridesmaids is. I have enough trouble dressing myself in things that look okay. Since I don’t inhabit their bodies and I’m not good with fashion, it’s pretty much down to “things that look okay and that they’re comfortable in, are roughly the right color, and can be obtained in time.” Unfortunately, that simultaneously narrows it down and doesn’t narrow it down enough.
@seAprilbride: *hugs and cookies* I’m sorry I’m not the only one this is happening to.
@geekspice: You make a good point about calling and emailing people. I’ll try to do that (and in the case of his family…get my Fiance to do that), but it is my goal to have the invitations out by the end of the month. Cross fingers.
A Thursday or Friday rehearsal is possible, though we have…oh…4 people in the wedding party. If 3 of them can’t make it, it’s kind of pointless. If all else fails, I guess I can be the person blocking my parents’ street for once, and we can use their backyard.
@chocolatecoveredstrawberry: I think most of the rest of what you’ve asked has been addressed (we’re certainly going to contact other hotels, but the way the coordinator reacted for this one made us think that it’s going to be like this across the board), but with regards to bridesmaids dresses, I’m trying to find them in warm gray. It’s a much easier color to find now than it was a couple years ago when I decided to put everyone in that color. It’s the time frame and fabric appropriateness (heavy fabrics are out; the wedding is hopefully outside) that suck. Given these variables, it’s most easily located for ladies size 14 and smaller, which…doesn’t work. Currently hoping that JCrew’s gray is good enough (though I guess I can’t be picky) and that their measurements will work for everyone.