Post # 1
Ok, so I’ve been happily engaged with my beautiful ring for over a year now, we are long distance and will be for several more months. My FI has said more than once that he would happily wear a ring right now. He says it unprompted, so I feel like he kind of likes the idea. We looked at wedding bands for him a few weeks ago and I got an idea of what he might like (style and type of metal).
Anyway, I had a gift card from Amazon, and they had some super inexpensive titanium mens bands, so I got him one just for fun. I mostly just got it because it was not costly and also, I’d like to verify what ring size will fit him. I would like to give it to him but I have one concern.
I don’t what him to feel like it’s something he HAS to wear every day until we get married. My reason for this is I just KNOW a few of his guy friends would never let him hear the enf of it if he wore it around them. I kinda just want him to have it to wear if he feels like and and take it off when ever, I picked it up just because the opportunity presented itself!
So what would you bees do in this situation, I am going to see him in a few weeks and would like to give it to him. I don’t want to make a big production of it, but also don’t want to just toss it his way and say, “hey I picked this up for free, here ya go.”
Post # 3
Maybe just present it to him the way you would a surprise gift, you could wrap it up nicely and have a nice dinner and put the box on his plate with a chocolate on top as “desert”. Once he’s opened it let him know that you don’t expect him to wear it all the time, that he can take it off and your feelings won’t be hurt.
Post # 4
My FI’s man-gagement ring was $35 from Overstock.com and he loves it. He brags about it to the customers in his store and most people have totally gotten it. He forgets it occasionally, but that was part of his reason for wanting one. He’d never been a jewelery guy before and if he was going to forget or lose a ring we wanted it to be something cheap, not the real one. I wouldn’t be upset if he dropped this one in the dumpster at work (his real one is a different story). If he doesn’t want to wear it around his friends, he doesn’t have to, but they might understand it too. The only person who hasn’t been on board is one of FI’s cousins. She noticed it over Christmas and was like “are you wearing your wedding ring already?” and we explained it was a man-gagement ring. She then replied “so, what, you had to spend more money on him?” and I tried to laugh it off and say “haha, no it was only 35 bucks” to which she responded “Oh, so that’s all my cousin is worth?” Can. Not. Win.
Post # 5
@squishee: I was in this same exact situation earlier in our engagement. I did buy him a titanium band in the size and width he thought he wanted. He wore it a little to get a sense of wearing a ring (and we changed the size a few times, since he kept underestimating how snug he wanted it).
I gave it to him in a casual/joke proposal, no grand gestures (I jumped onto his back, held it up for him, and asked if he’d still marry me). It worked!
We bought his “real” ring pretty soon after, and he wears it about half the time (at home and around close friends/family) but he doesn’t wear it in situations where people will ask if he’s married and he’ll have to say no.
Post # 6
Oh thanks you guys this is a big help to me. I think I’ll just give it as a sort of present when we are together for the weekend. I got it in a mm width that he said he likes to look of and I want him to see how it feels. But not obligate him in any way.
His friends are cool, but there’s just this one that’s kind of a big mouth and he enjoys jabbing and poking fun at my FI, you know how some guys still act like they’re in 8th grade? That’s this friend. My FI gets irritated with him quite often for this and I wouln’t want to add fuel to that fire – I expect that’s the main place where I wouldn’t want him to have to wear it.
Thanks for the quick feedback guys!
Post # 7
Just wanted to update and let you bees know that my FI really, really liked his ring! More than I thought he would. I was very casual with it, as decided per this thread. I just took out the box and said I have something for you, will you still marry me – kind of jokingly. He wore it with me the entire weekend, and said he loves wearing it. I told him that I did not expect him to feel obligated to wear it in places where his guy friends would give him sh*t about it and that it’s up to him.
I can tell he really enjoys it though – but I left the pressure off for if he doesn’t want questions about it. People would most likely think that we snuck off and got married, since I am sure none of them have heard of the “mangagement ring” concept.
Thanks bees! Just wanted to put this out there, it seems the guys might enjoy getting a ring ALMOST as much as we do! I was pleasantly surprised.