(Closed) Man…What did I get myself into. Family drama from out of left field.

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@HelleCat:  Yes, I would leave well enough alone…. for now. But if you feel compelled to do something about it following the wedding, by all means— seek those answers, and get them to your heart’s content. But your wedding is not the place or time. If the outcome is not favorable, you don’t want your wedding to be soured with the entire fall out that may potentially come your way. 

Believe me, I get what you’re going through. My father isn’t worth two shakes either (although his parents were the best grandparents anyone could ever ask for)… he has other family that I care not to dredge up issue with as well. Ultimately, you’ll live a happier life coming to terms with other peoples’ drama being just that…. OTHER PEOPLES’. You don’t own it, it belongs to the elder adults, who have their reasons. Just know that you did nothing wrong. 

Post # 4
Member
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am so sorry, this is a horrible situation and I feel for you. It sounds as though something went on when you were younger, and they are holding this ridiculous grudge over your immediate family (probably over something petty, as it is most of the time). As hard as it is, I would hold my head up high and cut my losses. It sounds as though you have done your very best to reach out to them, and even though I don’t know them personally, it sounds like they are being ridiculously stubborn. The ball is in their court now, and maybe down the road, they will be ashamed of pushing their granddaughter out of their lives. Your fiance’s words to you are very supportive, and I would take the wonderful relationships you have with your fiance, mother, friends, and any other supportive relatives, and fly far away from the drama 🙂 You are way too good for this bullhockey they are doling out.

Post # 5
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@HelleCat:  “Should I just leave well enough alone?”

Yes.  Yes.  Yes.  

This is not your family.  And because you were too young and now too much time has passed you will never know the whole truth of what happened.  You need to focus on the fact that your grandparents did not want to be an active part of your life and made this decision while you were still a child.  And,if you intend on having your cousins in your life however distant you cannot lash out on Facebook out of hurt.  They are not responsible for your pain nor should they be put in a position to either defend their family or villianize yours.  

Its horrible.  I’m sorry this has happened.  But you’ve got to work this out in your mind and in your heart.

Post # 6
Member
305 posts
Helper bee

feel whatever you feel. but do not post it on facebook. ever.  

Post # 7
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@roxymalone:  Yes. Facebook is the root of all evil.

Post # 9
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@HelleCat:  They will have an awesome DADDY!!!!!  Don’t forget to count that blessing!

Post # 10
Member
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@HelleCat:  Having an awesome small family is what counts, doll. You and your future husband will teach your children compassion, love and understanding. Nothing can take that away from you 🙂

Post # 12
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You’re mourning the vision you had for your family life.  That’s okay.

Make a new vision giving your kids what You didn’t have! You will be great parents who love their child together and who love each other.

Try not to dwell on what isn’t and what you cannot change.

Post # 13
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@axeyourmakeupkit:  Preach it, sistah! 

A counselor can definitely help you come to terms with this loss. It’s something you ought to reflect on so you can come to peace with the way the chips happened to fall. 

The topic ‘Man…What did I get myself into. Family drama from out of left field.’ is closed to new replies.

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