March the latest?!? Waiting bees, What would you do?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@tiff-tiff-tiff:  I would but then again I don’t have the challenges your facing. Our budget will be small ($5000) with about 120 ppl crazy I know. I had a fear of a similar thing happen to me so I told SO tht right know lets focus on saving and when we are close to the amount we need then we would think about being engaged that way no matter how short of time we have the funds (even though we have agreed on not having a long engagement in any event). With so many OOT I wouldn’t be comfortable with that time frame either. I think for your situation waiting for the actual engagement is best…unless you both decide your engaged now so you can book things and your able to mail out saved the dates and later on he can do the whole ring thing if you both are comfirtable with that.Good luck on figuring things out.

Post # 5
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Personally, March would be way too soon for me. I need more time to plan. But I agree, it’s kind of a moot point until he proposes

Post # 6
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@tiff-tiff-tiff:  You’re absolutely right.  Once he proposes the rest of the details can be worked out.  Right now he’s definitely putting the cart before the horse, which is unfair to you and insensitive to be honest since he must know you are expecting an actual proposal. 

 

I wouldn’t say yes, no or maybe to March or any other date.  Just tell him you guess the both of you will cross that bridge once you get to it, and IT means a proposal where he actually asks you to marry him.

 

Once he proposes and not before, then put the ball in his court in terms of how he would suggest your G-pa and BFFs could be a part of your big day if it was in March since it’s important to you.  And go over your work calendar with him and see what he thinks about it.  Is he going to help finance your folks’ attendance?  If not, what’s his plan?  He should care about the pieces of the wedding that are must-haves like close family and friends attending.  If he can’t come up with a viable plan or says he doesn’t know how that would work, then ask him in that case does he still think March is the best month.  Because it concerns you that his friends’ wedding dates may be taking precedence over what’s best for you two. 

 

It may seem like it shouldn’t matter as long as you get married.  But these types of conversations will tell you how likely he is to put you first in other future decision-making.  You should definitely be coming before his friends and actually everyone else too!

 

Post # 8
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@tiff-tiff-tiff:  Good for you!  You are really smart to not let him make you feel like he’s doing you a favor.  And it sure doesn’t have to be a storybook proposal.  He just has to ask and the ring doesn’t have to be expensive either.  It’s just a symbol of the engagement.  It doesn’t have to be on one knee with a marching band and fireworks.  My FH asked me on my front porch.  Granted he did get down on one knee, which is all I’d truly hoped for, but other than that it wasn’t super different. 

I feel like he will ask you as well.  And I cannot wait until you announce it on here.

Post # 10
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

I think I’d be annoyed that after all this time he decides that he just has to be married like 3 months from now but never considered that maybe a *slightly* longer engagement could have been more convenient for you/other people (especially since he wants a large wedding).

Also, if you hadn’t have happened to be talking about it last night when would he have told you about your impending nuptuals?

 

I dunno, but I do hope it works out for you! Hope he makes it official soon! He’ll need to if any organising is going to get done XD xx

Post # 11
Member
80 posts
Worker bee

I would have a slight panic attack if it were suggested to have a big wedding on a small budget in about half a year! If he’s really serious about setting a date so soon, maybe he should look at all the details and realize how much time it can take.

But on the bright side, you’ll be married soon!

Post # 13
Member
496 posts
Helper bee

@tiff-tiff-tiff:  Yes!  So as soon he proposes you can move on planning. But I wouldn’t move on planning until he proposes. Tell him you’d love to start planning…. as soon as you get engaged :).  Once he proposes, he might change his mind about the short time frame because then you would have to figure out where to get married etc. Either way, sending you good vibes!

Post # 14
Member
496 posts
Helper bee

P.S. I am so excited for you! Hopefully you will get an official proposal soon. 

Post # 16
Member
496 posts
Helper bee

@tiff-tiff-tiff:  It’s good that he wants to surprise you. Yes, all the pre-planning and ideas will pay off. LOL!! I am sure my BF will be surprised by how fast I get everything together too. hahaha! 🙂

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