Marriage and Babies!

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
4043 posts
Honey bee

@xoxo_712:  Well, we have been married for almost 6 months (together for 10 1/2 years) and we are no where near TTC. We are 25 and 27 right now, but we plan on waiting about 5-7 years. 

We did decide we wouldn’t have children until we were both financially stable and had established careers. We wouldn’t want to have the stress of finances right off the bat. Is there ever a perfect time to have a child? No. But having good jobs and money saved up doesn’t hurt. We have all of this now, but we want to continue enjoying our 20’s and traveling more. Having children will be great, but sacrifices will have to be made. We just aren’t ready for that drastic of a life change.

Obviously I don’t know you or your relationship, but it sounds like your FI has a good idea of waiting. I can’t imagine having a child while still in college. Is it feasible? Yes. But depending on your financial situation and how much you have to study, it may not be ideal. 

Good luck though on your TTC efforts, whenever you decide to do it!

Post # 4
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Well we waited about one month after we got married for me to stop taking birth control. I’m currently pregnant, and our baby is due one month before our first wedding anniversary. 

We knew we didn’t want to wait, because I’d like two children and I wanted to have them both close together. We aren’t old parents but we aren’t super young either. I’m 29 and my husband is 31, so we had already decided we weren’t going to wait long after our wedding. 

I couldn’t imagine trying to conceive when I was in college. We actually got married about a week after my husband graduated with his bachelors, but I’ve been out of school and working in my field for four years. 

Good luck, whatever you end up doing! Just have an honest conversation with your husband and make sure you guys are on the same page. 

Post # 6
Hostess
3787 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We started TTC this past december after two and a half years of marriage. Sorry, I not helps the BC thing though because I took my Mirena out a year ago in favor of on hormonal options.

Post # 7
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We wanted to wait 3-5 years after our wedding in 2012, but we are currently TTC after a year and 3 months. Our waiting time was how long we predicted it would take to get estabolished in our new town and business, but things went very well, very quickly, and we’re comfortable starting a family now.

I don’t think there should be a set amount of time. You’ll know when you can comfortably bring a child home. I thought for sure we would own a home before we had a family, but our rental is the most amazing house ever and I realized how awesome it would be to raise a family here.

I also thought I would be overwhelmingly stricken with baby fever and just “know”, but that never happened. My husband got baby fever and it was so adorable, I felt, what am I waiting for?

Post # 9
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@xoxo_712:  We got married at 28 and 37 years old, after 8 years together. While no time is the “perfect” time for having a child, finishing college first is a really smart idea! I’m in a PhD program and it was really important to me to be finished with classes before we began trying. I am also thankful we’ve been in our own house for a while, and established solid monthly budget and substantial savings. We will also be out of debt (other than our very reasonable mortgage) before the baby comes. 

Getting that sweet puppy will certainly keep the baby fever down for at least a few months – it worked for me! 🙂

Post # 11
Member
3213 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church

We started TTC on our wedding night and I’ve never been on any form of BC. It took us 10 months to conceive our LO who should be here any time now!

ETA: I graduated last month. Amazingly, that last term where I was super pregnant and still suffering morning sickness is the one in which I got the highest marks for my post-secondary career! I guess I tried harder because I thought it would be harder because I was pregnant.

Post # 12
Member
1395 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Were married a year before we started trying, and I got pregnant right away. I had stopped BC 3 months beforehand so that it was out of my system and I was back to normal before we started. I think it was a good time frame because it let us just experience being married for a bit before changing things up with kids! 

Post # 13
Hostess
10888 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We waited two years. Purely because I started a new job on a temp basis the week after getting married so didn’t have the maternity benefits and job stability. If I’d have s tuck with my previous job we would’ve started trying straight away.

Post # 14
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Got married last October, went off BC in November and will start TTC this summer, so about 9 months after being married. DH and I have been togeher for 5 years, living together for almost 4 years and we are both debt free so for us there was no point in waiting too long after getting married to start a family. The only reason we are waiting until the summer is because we are moving 5 hours away from where we currently live and I wouldn’t want to be pregnant, preparing a big move and trying to find a new job at the same time. 

Post # 15
Member
3538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I haven’t been on BC for years. We’ve been together almost 8 years, got married in September, waited to TTC after the holidays, so we just started trying. 

Post # 16
Member
3360 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@xoxo_712:  Well, I really think what’s right/makes sense is going to be different for every couple.  But, for us, we’ve waited a little over 2 years (we’re hopefully TTC in the next couple months).  We were 25 when we got married, both about to turn 28, and both finishing graduate school within the next 6 months or so.

ETA: I went off BCP last summer (July) and started charting.  I wanted to give myself about 6 months to regulate and get to know my cycle so I would be really familiar with what my body is doing by the time we were ready to TTC.  I’m really, really glad I did this.

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