- 7 years ago
- Wedding: August 2010
is tough!! Shouldnt this stuff be easy like 85% of the time? Lately this last few months I feel like Im climbing up a hill and never quite reaching the top.
1. Financially – were building our own house. Yay- thats exciting. But we got hit by our bank for another 4k that we dont have sitting around. Causing us for the first time to live off our credit card.
2. My job is friggen stressful. I travel alot between office each week and I really need to stick at it. They recently got rid of a few people at work and made redundancies. So im holding on to my job for dear life – even though my boss says my job is one of the safest. I sometimes think that they will rethink that. But the jobs around my part of the city in the same salary are a bit hard to find.
3. I feel as though Im actually bored with my husband.. We hardly have date nights – even tho we try. He just likes routine and never likes to be impulsive on something. For example – dinner has to be around 5.30pm and he cooks it and not I. I can exactly to the tee predict how his week goes. Even tho I try to change it.. he grumbles and he hates it.
– He never talks!!! I try to talk about my feelings etc and I have to wait 10 minutes for a reply… Granted I know hes measuring his words but it always feels like now a stalled conversation and we never fully discuss it.
4. Ive put on nearly 10kgs since ive got married!! thats TWO dress sizes!! I cant lose it even tho how much I gym it. I am not comfortable being the size I am… infact.. well i hate it. Ive had to buy new jeans etc and I feel as tho I look shite in whatever I wear.
5. I have drasticly low iron levels- some days I just have to push myself and get out of bed.
6. unsatisfactory sex life. – basically me just saying no because I seriously just cant be bothered. 3 months without sex and counting? That would be enough to make any man be miserable or myself…
7. I feel a little trapped. None of my single friends hardly talk to me since ive gotten married. They always think Im busy and I try calling them etc for coffee, dinner, pub they dont want to go. I feel as though i am on the outside. I am the very first of my close friends to get married – so i could understand this could be a little wierd.
8. my attitude on how I treat my husband and I need to control the negativity. I have a very sarcastic sense of humour and well.. sometimes there is no need for sarcasm. I feel as though it belittles him sometimes, and it just slips out! I dont mean to be so negative towards him I just say it. I mean it has funny ha ha and well… its a funny fail.
9. He wont go to counselling with me. He thinks everything is fine.. and there is no problem and its just my view as it being the problem.
Sorry, I dont know what the point of the post. Its just a very frustrating place to be in! I even took today off work 🙁 I couldnt cope with going in and smiling and pretending everything is fine and dandy. I cant do fake. I just needed to type this out.. You know where your at the point where you want to scream? but just cant? and no ones listening?