Marriage counseling after being married for 6 months

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@sunset927:  I’m sorry to hear about your mom 🙁  I’m sure this is causing a lot of stress in your life and your relationship.

I think counseling is a good idea.  If you two love eachother, it’s a good move to make and perhaps you can get things sorted out.  You two are married, you are a team, and counseling may give you the tools you need to communicate better and get along.  Good Luck!




Post # 4
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@sunset927:  Counseling is never a bad thing.   Even when things are ‘great’ in relationship, counseling can be cathartic for a couple.  However, my suggestion (based off your post, and not to offend you at all) is for you to definitely seek counseling as an individual, and then eventually, introduce your husband to join you…

I feel you are going thru A LOT right now.  My God, your mom has stage 4 cancer…that alone is enough to make a person ‘shut down’ (I know, because I went thru it too, and needed to procure a counselor to talk thru my anxieties and fears!). On top of that, you are weaning yourself off medicine that was perscribed for depression, etc.  Although I respect your decision and reasons, there needs to be a Plan B for you to fall back on when you are feeling down, angry or frustrated.

A counselor can be that Plan B.  I am not saying this is all your fault, but when you stated that your DH tried to do something nice with you, and you declined because you were not in the mood…that worried me…for YOU. 

And remember, you guys agreed to be there for one another in good times and bad.  This is a bad time, but with solid communication and support, a rough patch can pass. 

Post # 5
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@sunset927:  Oh hun, I am so sorry you feel this way. I know it’s not how you imgained your first year as newlyweds.


“We didnt start our marriage like a normal couple”

Who does? Just 3 months into our marriage, my DH decided he didn’t want his job anymore and we’ve somehow put ourselves in a situation where he is unemployed and I am the breadwinner until he figures out our future (prob. going back to school). I thought I would be the one to stay at home and hopefully start a family this year… Anyways, my point is, lots of newlyweds go through woes at the beginning of marriage, later on, in between, it happens to all of us. I wish it was always sugar coated sweetness, but it’s not :/

I think counselling is a great idea, and at least worth a try. It’s worth trying to save your marriage and at least you’ll know you really tried if it doesn’t work out in the end…

Best of luck to you, *Hugs*

Post # 6
5222 posts
Bee Keeper

I think couples counseling as well as individual counseling for you could be beneficial. Don’t let the 6 month thing scare you off, if there’s a problem and you both recognize it– no harm in seeking help at an early stage to nip it.

Post # 7
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@sunset927:  You keep focusing on the length of time you have been married but that isn’t always the best indicator. Relationships do not run on timelines. If you feel counseling could help, then maybe it is worth a shot. It sounds like your communication is broken down and the two of you resort to treating each other badly rather than compromising and having a discussion.

Relationships are not always fun, happy, exciting, and wonderful. Marriage takes work and anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar. Over the course of a marriage, you will deal with so many obstacles and challenges and you guys don’t have the tools to do that right now. Introducing a baby into the mix will not help the situation.

If you can’t fix your communication and conflict resolution skills on your own, then I do think counseling is a good idea.

Post # 8
6455 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

It’s never too early to go to counseling. We went after being married for less than three months. It took awhile to get DH to agree with it because he thought it was admitting that we had failed after only a few months. I eventually told him it was a divorce or counseling and he grudgingly went to counseling. We are still working on our marriage but we are certainly a lot happier!

Good luck!

Post # 9
2184 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

Even though you’ve only been married for 6 months, your relationship (presumeably) has been a lot longer. There’s no shame in saying, “I love you, but something is off. Let’s go talk to someone to fix it.” My husband and I go through spats… we’ve been together for 8 years. That’s a lot of “past” that can creep into our pretty awesome lives and turn a day sour.

I don’t see counseling as a last resort– when you see something is off, I think you should try to fix it and not wait until you’ve hurt each other so badly that you’re walking in the office with divorce on your mind. 

Post # 11
1689 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’ve heard the first year is the hardest for newly weds, and you don’t seem to be an exception.

I absolutely recommend counseling.  Parking should not cause a blow up fight; obviously we aren’t actually angry about parking.  Talking to a professional will air out what is really troubling each of you and help you put that fear/worry/anger into something constructive.

Good luck!

Post # 13
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@sunset927:  My husband and I were in a very very similar situation. We started counseling after about 6 months because I was at the same point- thinking divorce (which was never an “option” in my brain before we got married) and wondering if I could live that way forever. 

We began counseling- I went alone a couple times first (as I had a few things of my own to work out) and then we started to go together. I was more “gung-ho” than he was about the whole thing, but he did go willingly. I can absolutely tell you, it was THE best thing for us. I walked in to my first appointment (alone) and told the counselor that I felt like an absolute failure being there 6 months after getting married. She told me the same thing other bees are saying- the first year is the hardest and more people should be going to counseling that early… instead, too many often wait until things get so bad and they are almost beyond repair. 

Things between DH and I aren’t perfect now (no such thing!) but our counselor did equip us with the right “tools” we needed in order to communicate much better (and we thought we were communicating just fine!) We still have an argument here and there (minor) but nothing like we used to. We understand each other a lot better now and have much more patience with each other.

It can be hard to drop your pride and go see someone this early in the marriage- but I definitely, definitely recommend it 🙂  

Post # 14
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@sunset927:  Honey, marriages take work and never stop needing work. I’d be lying if I said my marriage was perfect. Everyone would. Everyone argues or get’s upset. It’s a natual human reaction. You are dealing with a lot of stress, and I think it is causing the both of you to drift apart. This is about “we are only 6 months into marriage.” It doesn’t matter. If you love him and want to be with him and want things the way they were before then marriage counseling is not a stupid idea, and I support it.

When we took premartial counseling she asked us if we were at that point where our marriage sucked, what would be do to try to improve it or would we result to divorce right away? We both said counseling would come first. We haven’t come to that point, but there is no shame or embarrassment in coming to it. It just means that you are willing to accept help to understand each other.

I think this relationship can be saved, and I hope you both work hard to do that. Good luck.

Post # 15
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sunset927:  I’m so sorry you’re going through so much right now. I definitely think counseling is a great idea for you as a couple but also for you as an individual.  It’s worth a shot.  Also, given everything you’re going through, maybe getting off your medication right now isn’t the best timing.  Maybe you could wait until everything is a bit more stable?  Just a suggestion. I don’t know if you’re actively TTC right now but you did mention pregnancy as a reason for getting off the meds, but even that might be best left until things are more stable with your relationship.  

Best of luck to you.

Post # 16
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Although you’ve only been married for 6 months… you are experiencing a very BIG change in your life… This might be something that can affect other areas in your life. I would recommend counseling… even if it’s only for you because it’s already stressful enough to get used to married life.. and then to add work, family, etc. issues…

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