(Closed) Marriage life…no difference?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@slmaynard: I’ve been married once before, and for me, being married felt no different. I’m one of those people who think’s it’s important to live together before making the marriage commitment so the only thing that changes after I get married is my last name. πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

It doesn’t feel different for us either, except for the joining of the finances. We’re a bit more focused on the future as well. But, all in all, the day-to-day is exactly the same!

Post # 5
Member
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m so glad you posted this! I want to know how other new wives feel.

FI and I have lived together for like 2 years, and I’m so scared that I’m going to be totally underwhelmed by marriage…and feel really guilty…then get depressed and take it out on my husband…and he will start to hate me and then we will get divorced.

LOL, ok I’m exaggerating, but I AM nervous about it =)

Post # 6
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

It doesn’t feel that different, but it does at the same time, LOL.  It feels more secure, more permanent.  Other than that though, we already lived together, and already combined finances.

BUT, I get giddy when I use my new last name and when I get to refer to him as my husband.  3 months later, that still hasn’t faded!

Post # 7
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

We didn’t live together before marriage, so for us it felt different since we were sleeping together every night and waking up together every morning. Also, I will say that Hubby is a bot more protective and even thoughtful as a husband. He’s quick on the snow removal and good about the household chores, etc. That definitely feels different!

Post # 8
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

We started trying to have babies right away and we are now trying to buy a house together which I think have made a bigger impact on feeling married. Otherwise, I don’t think it would have changed anything.

Post # 9
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’m almost a month out from my wedding and I totally agree! We bought a house together a year before the wedding so we already shared most of our finances and house duties. Our honeymoon was pretty awesome! But other than that I mostly am just excited about the new ring and my new name. Oh yea and that whole til-death-do-us-part thing πŸ™‚ 

Post # 10
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

We also didn’t live together before we were married, so it was very different for us. Our relationship didn’t change, but it was fun moving in with him and getting a feel for each others’ living habits. We learned to operate as a team since we’ve been married as well…I kind of felt before like we were two separate people doing our own things. Once we got married, it’s us against the world! Hehe…not in a bad way, but we’re taking what life throws at us totally together!

Post # 11
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

We are the first in our group to get married, and everyone kept telling us that things were going to be so different when we got married, yet we had lived together for 3 years, all our bills were combined, so nothing was going to change. And, big surprise, it did…just a little. We feel closer now, but that’s it. I got so irritated about everyone saying this, that I said something to my aunt, who told me something I’ll never forget an will always pass on. “if you guys were honest with each other throughout your relationship, it won’t change. The only time it changes is when people are their true selves.” It is so true!

Post # 12
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

The only difference is we are now a lot less stressed with no wedding to plan and have freedom to travel and generall do things we’ve always been wanting to do.

Post # 13
Member
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Having more free money and less stress now that the wedding is done is AWESOME. I do still feel a little like I’m “playing adult”, when I use his last name and refer to him as my husband, but I think that willl feel more natural with time. We also hadn’t combined finances even though we lived together for 3 years before the wedding, so that’s new and going well so far. I think the only other major difference is that Im very aware of what I say about him in public. I’m a very open person, and complaining about my FI or SO doing the dishes not to my standard is different somehow than complaining about my husband. I feel very aware that what I say in public is a view into our marriage and I want to make sure to honor it by showing it for what it is, which is really good. A little flawed, like everyone’s but really good.

 

Post # 14
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Linz1231: 7 months later and I Still love calling him my husband!!

We are way less stressed and I think enjoy life more. I think its different yet the same in its own way

Post # 15
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I hate that question!  It seemed to drop off after a few months (I get it less frequently now).

I guess it really depends on the context of your perception.  

For me, I didn’t think it would change our relationship AT ALL.  But, something did change and while our day to day life is still the same and we treat each other the same way – there is something very different about our relationship.  At first, it felt sexier.  The relationship was just this rich, deep thing… sexy like good chocolate or that amazing sip of wine! πŸ™‚  

So – if you ask me if marriage changed much about how we treat each other or interact with each other – I’d say ‘no’.  But, if it changed the dynamic, I’d say ‘yes’.  

@PitBulLover:  I still get giddy calling him ‘my husband’.  I was thinking the other day that I hope that doesn’t fade any time soon! πŸ™‚

Post # 16
Member
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Instead of getting a “shut up ring”, I will eventually get a “shut up baby” haha. But really, most things are exactly the same. Which is awesome cause it could be worse!

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