Marriage plus roomates

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@LoveBlossom14:  I see no problem with it. Why not have roommates? Sounds like fun to me, if they were people I already knew. I would love if DH and I could live with friends, mine or his, doesn’t matter. My dream home would be a big house with a big kitchen and many friends we know all living in it together.

As long as we have our private space (our bedroom) I don’t get why there’d be any issue.

However it doesn’t sound like something either of you want, so I’m not sure why it’s even on the table. If you think you can put up with it long enough to alleviate your financial problems, it might be worth it, but if you’re BOTH going to be miserable, is it really worth the money it saves?

Post # 4
2081 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would never be married and consider having roommates…would not fly with me or FI. Having said that, I am a little older than you (31), and my days of having roommates were over and done long ago. I’d rather be tight for cash (which is often just a temporary thing in life) and still have own privacy. 

Post # 5
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Why not consider a less expensive option like a townhome or a condo? Or just wait and rent together so you can enjoy private married life until your finances are able to allow you to get a home for just the two of you?

Post # 6
2264 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@sillysillybee:  +1.

@LoveBlossom14:  If you’re already having reservations about being married with roommates, then I wouldn’t ignore these feelings. Even though it may be fun to have roommates at times, you do lose a bit of freedom and privacy when there are other people in the house. As you mentioned, why not wait a little bit for marriage until you’re done with school so as a double income unit, you and he could afford living without roommates? 

Post # 7
4042 posts
Honey bee

@LoveBlossom14:  If he cannot comfortably afford the mortgage on his own (which it should be less than 33% of his income) then he shouldn’t purchase a home. It’s not financially savvy to buy something one can’t afford. It’s one thing to have roommates to help with costs, but it sounds like he will depend on that help.

I would suggest buying a cheaper place or continuing to rent. As far as marriage, that is something you two will have to decide on when to do. Personally, I didn’t want roomates after the wedding. We had roommates for 4 years while dating and that was ok, but not after marriage.


Post # 8
35 posts

@LoveBlossom14:  Do you read A Practical Wedding at all? One of the contributing editors (Maddie) has been married for years and she and her husband had had a roommate the entire time. Check out what she says–I think it might be helpful.

Post # 9
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@allyouneedislove:  +1

I hated having roommates, so I guess I’m biased, but why not rent while you two can save up some more money? I don’t like the idea of living with roommates OR living somewhere that causes me to be financially strapped. There are other options!

Post # 11
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@LoveBlossom14:  DH and I once lived with my sister for 6 months (the lease was for 1 year, but we had to cut it short)… We almost broke up (well we did, for 5 days!).

We weren’t even married back then and it was still super hard; we were used to living with one another (which was hard enough at times), but not living with another person on top of that.

You are right, newlyweds (couples, period.) need their privacy.

Have you two lived together before?

I can’t imagine how much of a challenge it would be to have roomates + learning to live with one another as a couple…

Post # 14
3360 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I wouldn’t buy a house if you need roommates to afford it – if the situation changes and the roommates have to move, what happens then?  Renting with roommates is different.  If situations change and you can’t afford it, you can move.  But I really think you should be able to swing a mortgage payment between just the two of you.  I’d rent for a few years – whether that means getting married now or later (I don’t really get how marriage is tied to home ownership, but that’s just me), being financially responsible is more important.

It wouldn’t bother me much in general to have roommates – DH and I may actually have a roommate soon (if we move to San Fransisco – rent is just so freaking expensive there), but the finances aspect would worry me.

Post # 15
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Having roommates while dating and then living together was hard enough.  We finally got our own place together and I cannot imagine ever living with roommates again in the future.  I certainly wouldn’t want to live with roommates once married because the first few years of marriage are stressful enough without roommates (and roommates are horribly stressful on a relationship.)

Post # 16
1689 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I own a house with my FI.  We are getting married in May.  And we have a roommate.

She’s my MOH, and I’ve lived with her since 2010. 

We can afford the house on our own, but having a little extra rent money is really REALLY nice.  We haven’t had any issues with it.

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