marriage prep questions

posted 3 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I went on a retreat, and the best part about it was all the 1 on 1 time with Fi discussing different things that we’d never thought about.  Most of what is covered are things you’ll likely have already discussed, but there’s always a few little things that come up.  You als get the perspectives of many married couples at different points in their lives.

I personally would prefer that to discussing things with another couple.  Some topics are just private.

With that said, I’d recommend doing whichever you think you would both get the most out of.

Post # 4
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

FI and I are about to have our last meeting with our sponsor couple, and we couldn’t be more happy that we chose this route. Our sponsor couple seems to have been made for us. We have 1 on 1 conversations during each session (4 total), and we go through points on the FOCCUS that we didn’t match answers on (which wasn’t much apparently). Our sponsor couple also goes through the points with us and give us their input. Like PP said, most of the things that are covered are things that we have already discussed, so the meetings with the couple have just really reaffirmed that we’re on the right track. 

Post # 5
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We did the Engaged Encounter retreat, and I HIGHLY recommend it! It’s totally unlike every other retreat I’ve ever been on (in a way that I think will make your FI feel a bit more comfortable). DH and I are both pretty private about our faith… we don’t like stuff like sharing your thoughts/feelings in a small group, etc. (the normal retreaty stuff). But Engaged Encounter allows you to totally spend the weekend on your own for the most part (aside from listening to speakers, and our speakers were really diverse and inspiring). Most of the time at ours was spent just me with my husband, talking about various topics. At one point we got to write our own prayer for our marriage, and I ended up framing it when we got home and we still have it three years later! 

The sponsor couple would be helpful too, I’m sure, but to me it seems like that would be more uncomfortable (you have to share a lot of personal discussions with a couple you just met). If you get a great sponsor couple though, it’s really nice to have a “role model” of sorts. 

I actually think the retreat might seem less time-consuming in the end… one weekend and it’s done, and most of it is just time you get to spend together, which is nice when you’re so busy with wedding planning and things! And if paying for it is an issue, I think there are ways to get your fee waived if you have financial need (I know there are in my diocese). Plus you get a discount on your marriage license in many states with the Engaged Encounter completion certificate. 

I think both options would be fine, but we really liked the retreat. I wrote about it on my blog if you want to read more – the link is in my profile. Or feel free to PM me! 

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