Weddingbee boards

Since I was able to have a celebratory brunch with my grandparents, Nonni & Pap-pap, who were celebrating 62 years of wedded bliss today!  I began to think about who my marriage role models were.

 My answer probably seems obvious, but its my grandparents. I've never seen a cople more in love despite enduring a war,  tough economic times, and many hardships. To this day, my grandparents continue to walk hand in hand, (and their walking is more of a tottering, with some added help of  their canes ). When I asked them about how they stayed together and so happy for so long, they replied, love each other.  My grandfather is quick to tell anyone who will listen how wonderful his wife is, and my grandmother is the same. 

I'll never forget the summer when they were BOTH in the hospital for some pretty complex surgeries. My grandfather who truly needed surgery 1st, refused to have his surgery before my grandmother. The reason, he promised to take care of her, and he was going to keep his word.  My grandmother went in for surgery on a Wens. and my grandfather was right by her bedside. The next day, my grandfather went in for his surgery. I remember speaking to my grandmother and how anxious she was since she couldn't see my grandfather. My grandmother told me that they had never been apart for more than a day. Luckily for us, both of my grandparentscame through their surgeries with flying colors, and I'll never forget how excited my grandmother was when I was able to help her into a wheelchair and take her to see her husband. I remember them both crying because they were so happy, and my grandfather holding her hand while he was in his hospital bed, and she in her wheelchair. 

 As I've begun to plan my wedding, its easy to get swept up into "wedding day madness". So when I need a reality check, I think about my grandparents 62 years of happiness, and hope that the Mr. & I can only be so lucky.

Who are your marriage role models?

FI and I were actually just talking about this the other night. We don't really have any within our families, but he works with one of our friends from high school's dad and meets with him for lunch every Friday. He said he loves talking to him because they've "been there, done that and are still madly in love"! We want to be that madly in love when we're 50!

My grandparents and my parent. Even though I am not close to my parents they have been each others best friend. Even though there was times I know they would fight and even talked about divorce they realized that they were each others best friend and didn't want to lose that.

But also this may sound lame. But myself and my past marriage. It was horrible and all the mistakes I made and he made. I learned so much from that and how to be a better person. So with that I have grown and taken those learned lessons to apply them in my current life. Without those lessons I would not be who I am today or with Mr. FF.

While none of them have perfect relationships, but I like to observe and learn from my parents and both sets of grandparents.  And some aunts and uncles to boot.

I'm blessed to have a ton of great examples of marriage in my life and it's so interestinng to see that each relationship is so different yet works for those individuals.  To me the unifying theme seems to be having the same underlying values.  As a result, disagreements are just on the surface and typically about superficial things.  The underlying fundamentals don't even need discussion (after decades of marriage).  It's taken for granted that both partners are on the same page where it really matters.

I espeically liked to see my grandparent's marriage when my nonno was alive.  They are a classic case of opposite personalitities - my passionate, particular, and opinionated grandma with my quiet, contemplative, and sweet grandpa.  But even though they seemed different outwardly, they were completely on the same page when it came to areas that were important to them - finances, politics, religion, family matters, etc.  My grandma still always talks about how he was as handsome as a movie star as a young man and the coy "hard to get" games that she played to make sure he really liked her before she would let him take her on a date.  So adorable.

My FILs are definitely my marriage role models.  I've never seen two people more in love, more perfect for each other.  I've asked my FI about them, and he says he can only remember them fighting once in his life. 

When we first told them we were engaged, my FFIL wrote me a letter that said, "If you and B manage only 1/4 of the love that FMIL and I have, then you will have enough to last you many lifetimes."

Also, my cousins call their grandparents Nonnie and Pop-Pop, too  : )