Marriage role models?

posted 1 year ago in Married Life
Member
841 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My parents for sure. If my marriage is even half as awesome as my parents’, I’ll be happy! I always ask my parents what their secret is and my dad always says “every morning when you wake up, the first thing you should ask yorself is “how can I make my husband/wife happy today?”‘ So sweet!

Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Hmm, I wish I had more marriage role models! Definitely not my own parents, haha.. though they are still married, they aren’t very nice to each other. My in-laws are pretty good for the most part, but they can kind of pick on each other sometimes as well. My grandparents, when I was little and spent a ton of time with them, were always so sweet to each other, calling each other “Love” and “Dear”, and always thinking of the other first. My grandma made my grandpa all his meals and brought him his coffee and we would ‘tuck him in’ at night, because he would always go to sleep before us (usually with his glasses still on and a book on his face!). I don’t have a lot of insight into how their marriage was before their kids were grown (I’m sure it was quite different), but the way I saw their life and marriage, it was pretty ideal. They were always just so kind and loving to each other, always thinking of each other and looking for ways to be good to one another. That is how I hope my husband and I will always be.

Member
4273 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@lovekiss:  DH and I have said over and over again how lucky we are to come from intact families where both our parents are still married so they are our role models.  They are both still embarassingly (to us, their kids) in love! 

Member
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I feel sad to say this but no, I don’t have a marriage role model. Both of our parents are divorced (and remarried but only one out of four is in a healthy relationship). One set of our grandparents are still together but I wouldn’t necessarily look to them as an example of a healthy loving marriage. They came from an era where you just don’t divorce no matter what. I do have friends that have been married a while but I find it very hard to see my peers as role models.

Member
4273 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@lovekiss:  Yes!  They still gross me out tho LOL but at least I’m not around it 24/7.

My mom is ridiculous (IMO) she controls her own work schedule and HAS TO be home to make my dad lunch before he goes to work whereas I’m like “Mom, that’s going to throw a kink in our day’s plan — he’s a grown man that can fend for himself!”

They’re quite attached.

Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I guess my grandma and grandpa! They’ve been married for almost 60 years, since he was 24, and she was… 16! Grandma was a young ‘un.

Member
2243 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Unfortunately neither SO or I had great parental role models for married couples while we were growing up. My parents fought all of the time and his dad does spends so much money behind my FMILs back it isn’t even funny.

Thankfully, we have both agreed that we want a completely different marriage than our parents have. We want to work as a team. We want to do things together.

I know my role model for how a married couple should be is my BFFs in-laws. I know that sounds really strange but I also know them very well and they are an amazing couple. I love them tremendously.

Member
2265 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

If my marriage is half as good as my parents’, I will be a lucky, lucky girl.

They love each other so much. I’ve had high school/college friends make comments to me about how much they respect my parents and what a good example of a marriage they have.

I think the biggest thing is that they are just *so* committed to keeping their relationship healthy. They go out of their way to make sure that they respect and value each other, which after 30 years I’m sure isn’t super easy to do all the time. I literally have never once heard my parents curse or call each other nasty names. Even when they disagree, they *never* say anything spiteful or mean.

My dad used to tell me when I was a little kid, “You will never ever have to worry about me and Mommy splitting up. That’s not something you even need to think about.” He probably said that to me for the first time when I was 4 or 5 years old, and I remember it so vividly. That felt so good to hear as a kid, especially when I saw other people’s parents going through a divorce.

I know a lot of people are not that lucky, so I feel incredibly blessed to have grown up with that kind of example of what a marriage should be.

Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

Is it sad that the first ones to come to mind are Lily and Marshall (HIMYM)? I really like their relationship. We’re a bit like that- open, honest and totally in love.

Needless to say, our marriage role models are kind of nonexistent in real life. My brother has been married for ten years, and they do have a really strong relationship. I love that they still have small moments of kisses and I love yous in public… even after 15 years in a relationship and two kids.

Member
2243 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@lovekiss:  We really have. I was in a really unhealthy relationship for a long time and I knew going into this relationship that I wanted to be treated a completley different way. I want to be someone’s first priority and thankfully my SO is wonderful.

Member
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@lovekiss:  I think it’s more difficult to see them as role models for marriage because I’m looking for someone who has been there and made it through successfully and I just don’t see my peers as having that life experience yet. Many of my friends were married the year before me and I think that most of us are all on the same page in life and I just can’t see a role model in someone who is dealing with the same things as I am. I can admire the way they deal with things but I don’t necessarily aspire to be like them. In my mind, having a role model means that you aspire to be like that person.

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