(Closed) Marriage rules you *should* break

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Personally, I think each marriage has it’s own rules. There really are no ‘hard & fast’ rules to marriage anymore other than trust, fidelity and safety (emotional, physical, etc). Other than that, we each decide what is and isn’t “ok” in our marriages. We don’t follow the don’t go to bed angry rule – if that was the case when we had a disagreement we’d never go to bed. It’s just not feasible – arguements/disagreements happen yet we all have to get up in the morning (besides, things always seem to be brighter and happier in the morning anyway).

Bella

Post # 4
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think its good to be flexible with any “rules,” and to just use them as within-reason guidelines. Also, some rules seem like they’re a good idea, but then just don’t work when implemented.

From the article, I completely agree that once you have kids, they don’t come first (though I don’t have kids yet, so I obviously don’t really know what I’m talking about), that partners don’t need to sync up their hobbies (I can’t see him being interested in knitting, and its good to have things you can do apart from one another), that the “spark” fading doesn’t mean you’re doomed (sometimes you’ll feel it, sometimes you won’t- and your actions can help to create those feelings if they go away), and that boring isn’t bad (so comforting to be able to keep a “boring” routine with someone, and not have to constantly impress one another!).

Post # 5
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I hate that article- sorry.  I only glanced at the first two and thought it was ridiculous. 

It is definitely a case-by-case basis.  Every relationship is different and unique.

Post # 6
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I agree with @cbee…I agree with some of the points in the article and disagree with others, but bottom line is, each couple is different. For example, FI and I are 100% open with each other – we both consider it one of the best parts of our relationship. However, most of the other couples I know keep secrets from each other. I’m not just talking past relationships (I can see the logic for that), but, for instance, girls not knowing how much their boyfriend makes. For me personally, that doesn’t make sense, but it works for them. So I would stay away from hard and fast “rules”. 

 

Post # 7
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I agree that it varies couple to couple, I also think that something like fidelity should not be considered a rule but just love. I also think that a healthy relationship is always evolving and growing so what might make sense in the first year will be void twenty years in.

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