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A huge bed! We just ordered a california king, after about a week of sleeping in a queen together!
Great suggestions. That might have to be in the budget for next year since we just put out a lot of money for our honeymoon - moving twice in one month and just bought a new couch. Ouch. Should have splurged on a new mattress. Maybe I should splurg on a new coffee maker instead!
I suggest getting a bed that doesn't allow a lot of motion transfer. My FI and I bought a new matress like that when we moved in together. Neither of us realized how much this mattered to our sleep schedule until we went on vacation and slept on the bed in the hotel room that definitely didn't have this feature! Neither of us got any sleep that night!
Definitely put aside for a bigger bed! We had a double originally, and while we tolerated sleeping together, I lost a lot of sleep (as he was a sleep kicker). When we bought our house, we got a king.
I don't think I could not have a king bed anymore - but we also have at least one dog that sleeps in the bed, and the other sometimes comes up as well.
I've never had sleeping issues, even though I never lived with FI the weekends that I stayed over it just seemed natural, even when he had a tiny twin bed. we do joke around about me stealing all the covers for myself etc but no actual issues. my suggesttion would be to buy a bigger bed?
I can't wait til we can afford a king size bed!! Although, I can tell that I am used to sleeping with someone else in the bed, because I went away for 4 days, slept in a queen size bed, and didn't move from my spot the entire time!
The only bad part about the kin size is that it will seperate you. So if you like to cuddle a lot, this bed will keep you at seperate ends. I find I sleep better when the FI turns of the tv. Which he does not like to do.
It just takes a while to get used to. FI and I share a full sized bed (I know--TINY!), but we make it work! We also have a kitty that loves to sprawl out at the foot of the bed, taking up even more room haha!
Funny story--when FI and I first started sleeping together, he had this weird habit of rolling over in his sleep and plunking his elbow down right on my face. Happened almost every night. Very funny trying to fix THAT problem lol!
Aww you two will get used to it girly.. It seems different at first but you will get used to each other in the bed and sleep like babies :)
Do you have a guest bedroom? DH works nights, so I mostly sleep alone. But when we are in bed together, I wake up several times a night. He snores, he coughs, he turns, and eventually, he ends up on my side either pushing me to the edge or lying half on me. Our guest bed that I can retrieve to has been my life saver!
I would also suggest ear plugs. I've realized it isn't so much DF in bed with me that keeps me awake, its his heavy breathing, snoring, coughing, etc.
Foam ear plugs are a life saver! I just have to be sure my phone is on vibrate to wake me up!
I think it takes awhile to share a bed. When DH and I shared a bed as bf/gf(he would stay the night), he used to often roll into me and accidentally wack or hit me hard with his arm while he was sleeping! Now that rarely ever happens. Occassionally he will be sleeping on my pillow, and I would wake him up enough to get him to move back over, etc. That also happens less and less now.
You'll get used to it eventually. My guy and I have the same problem. I am completely motionless when I sleep. I wake up in the exact same position I feel asleep in. My guy needs to toss and turn for like 20 minutes before he can get comfortable and he wakes up at least twice a night to get up and pee. It used to be so frustrating and sometimes it still is when I am having trouble falling asleep anyway, but for the most part after 1.5 years of sleeping together we have gotten used to each other. I still want to get a latex bed though. I work for a mattress manufacturer that makes exclusively latex beds and I can not wait until I have enough money for one. So ridiculously comfortable and you can't feel anything moving!
it definitely took us a while to get used to being in the same bed. i agreed with @starry: when we had sleepovers when we were dating (didn't live together til we got married) i never slept well.
i still hate cuddling when i'm going to bed, but now with DH, i can kiss him goodnight and we each turn to our sides without the other being mad. :)
we have a queen and he's over 6 ft. i know he would love a king, but it literally would take up our entire bedroom, so it's a no go for now. we each had fulls before, so the queen is an upgrade for us.
We had the same issue and got a King size bed- solved all our problems! If it doesn't go away on it's own after a little bit of getting used to things, that's what I'd recommend. Some people just aren't compatible sleepers!
The first year of our relatiionship we shared a queen bed. I do not miss that.
Now we have a california king size, and it is against the wall on its longest side. We made a custom headboard for it. I think it is like 78'' wide and 74'' long... something like that. AND it's memory foam. Every night both of us pile up in the bed with our two dogs (a golden retriever and a shar pei mix) and we all sleep like babies.
I recommend a Cal King memory foam bed! You will never turn back!
Downsides but still worth the investment:
*Really hard to find nice sheets without special ordering. Most stores dont carry Cal King.
*The most impossible thing to move. I think our matress weighs abour 200 lbs and its huge and floppy (foam) so its really awful when it comes to cleaning under the bed or when we moved into our house.
I have a confession. When I moved in with my FI I could not fall asleep in his full bed for the life of me! It was terrible. I actually resorted to taking a benadryl every so often to get used to sleeping with him. Took a couple of weeks but now we sleep together fine. Still in the full bed :( We just moved and I would LOVE a queen but he adamantly does not want one. ugh.
FI & I had a full size bed when we moved in together and now we have a queen size. It's much better than the full we had before, but I would like a king size bed eventually.
It might help if one person goes to sleep first. Fi has to get up early, so he goes to bed around 9, and I'll come to bed later, around 11 or so. We're also thinking of getting a king bed, and the occasional glass of red wine before bedtime helps too. :)
All I can say is, when we can afford it we're buying a king size bed or at least a queen! We're in a full size bed with our dog sleeping in between us and taking up 1/3rd of the bed. Is he big? NO! He's just jealous of daddy... so he pushes us as far away from each other possible :) And when he's not in between us (I try to make him sleep at the top of the bed) then we're bothering each other with our feet or backs, whatever. I think I've slept in the fetal position to try to stay as small as possible and not kick him. Plus it's so hot in the room that I have no desire to cuddle!
We're at this point too, and a bigger bed is NOT an option seeing as how our queen-sized bed is brand new.
Have you adjusted at all since you posted this? I'm interested to hear!
We share a full size, and have for almost 4 years. We have our nights where one or the other is restless (usually him) and I don't sleep. But we have adapted. I am a very still sleeper, so I just move as far to my side as I can, and he takes the rest for his thrashing around. There are still nights I want to beat him senseless, but overall we do ok. That said, we are totally buying a kingsize bed post wedding and I cannot wait lol!
I would say get a king bed and also things like this sometimes take time. For the first year of our relationship we shared a (dorm room) twin XL on the top bunk!! I never fell off the bed thank god. Now we share a full bed and it feels like we have so much space. The only thing that has happened when we sleep together is he teds to lay his leg/arms on me in the middle of the night which I don't mind except when his arm drapes over my neck and almost choked me one night, lol. Luckly I have learned so sleep on my side now.
@CasaMay7: same thing with my hubby and I. We did not sleep the first couple months, it was awful. It took a lot of time getting used to it. For awhile the only way I could sleep peacefully was putting a body pillow between us, it helped immensely!
My mom learned to do it by sleeping with an eye mask and earplugs haha
We got a queen bed RIGHT before we got married, and frankly our apt,. was too small for a king anyway, so it was a matter of grin and bear it. We've been married 16 months now, and learned to adjust to a queen. I would LOVE a king or cali king, but apts are so small and not knowing what size house we'll be buying limits us as well. I don't want to invest in a king until we know it will fit in our room!
i think some people are just not compatible in bed. I've never had any issues sharing a small bed until I met the BF. He says I'm a terrible bed partner and I say he is the terrible one. The BF doesn't like to cuddle. i think that's the problem. Every other guy I've shared a bed with loves to cuddls so a small bed has never been an issue. Or maybe I've become a bad bed partner as I've gotten older? When we travel, we get the king bed. There's plenty of room but I feel there's an ocean between us. I'm barely over 5 ft tall and he's a few inches of 6 ft. But I've shared bed with taller men.
if yall think a queen is small my husband bought a full size nice mattress for his back right before we started dating and he refuses to get something bigger. im 5'2 he 6'2 and 230 lbs. ugghh
When FI and I started dating, sharing a bed with a guy was such a new thing to me that I didn't sleep the first few times. Then, any movement of his woke me up... but it was just a matter of getting used to each other. I liked being close and can fall asleep while he is holding/cuddling me.
But honestly, I do think I like my own space in bed. ;)
My FI and I had so many sleep overs in college where we squished into a twin bed that even a full bed was HUGE to us for awhile! We now have a queen sized bed and it's more than comfortable for us. In fact, I only sleep well when I am sleeping with him. I have such a hard time falling asleep when he's not there!!
I am so glad to hear I am not the only one with this not sleeping issue. I would agree with previous posters, a king size bed would be a wise investment!
On our honeymoon we had a king size bed and slept comfortably. But as soon as we got back home to our queen size bed, not so much.
I does take time to get used to sharing a bed...so hang in there and start saving for a king size bed. That's what I am doing!
MY FI LOVES to share MY pillow with me while I sleep AND leave the Tv on all night until it wakes me and I turn it off. HELP!!!!! All I do is toss, turn, stretch, all while in the grasp of his cuddles. I love to cuddle but I need a bit of space when sleeping.
My DH was glad to go away this weekend and get a bed to himself. For me sharing is no problem but I am a problem for him.
I hog the bed, blankets, move, kick, pucnch, talk, make noise etc. I honestly don't know how he shares a bed with me most nights.
I was getting better, but the last week or so I haven't been sleeping well and he gets the brunt of it.
@StarIzInkd: When I was a teenager, I had a tv that had a sleep function. Basically, if I didn't touch anything on the remote (change channel, sound, etc) for 30 minutes, it would automatically turn off.
Does your TV have that? Or could you get one that does?
@Kewii: I have that at my house and use it. On his he has 2 different remotes that need to be set.. I should start using them though you're right.
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Help! My husband and I are exhausted! Pre-wedding, we lived alone - slept in our own beds - and totally dominated our own sleeping bubbles. Now that we are married, the only full-night's-sleep we both got was the night he was out of town for business.
Help! Tossing and turning all night long, not being able to let my tiny 5'2" frame take up an entire Queen Sized bed is making me tired. Mr. CasaMay7 is tired, too!
Suggestions?