Post # 1
- Wedding: November 2014 - backyard
My DH and I have had a great relationship prior marriage, we were natural together. Its been a week since we have been marriage but the spark and connection is off now. I do not know what is going on. We lived together for a year before we got marriage, and have been together a total of 2 years. I do not know why but things seem off. I experienced great stress in the past week after marriage, I had to submit my thesis, which I ended uo not. A childhood friend who catered at our wedding, tried her best to ruin everything, she is not answering my calls and has run away with our wedding photos. My wedding band, which was the only ring I had since I did not have a ering, I lost one of the small diamonds on my bands, Luckly i found it and we took it in, my DH traded his band also so I could get a better ring, and at the moment I have no ring.
With all of this stress, it has put strain on my marriage, on top of that we did not recieve any gifts from my MIL or anyone from DH side of the family. The day after the wedding, DH suggested I go cook for MIL, we went, DH had to leave to sort out the ring issue and the whole time he was gone, MIL kept herself busy in her room, barely tried to make conversation but kept putting things back in place when she went past the kitchen, while I was still busy preparing and using them, it was totally awkward. I knew she didnt like me but just pretends to DH, but I guess now that got to me.
All of these things are weighing on me and I am finding it difficult to enjoy being married. So many insercurities have risen about myself all of a sudden, and everything now feels weird. There are silient moments now, things we never had, its too much. The stress is getting to me. I may be overeacting but I just had to vent, I love him and I do not want strain so soon after our wedding.
Post # 2
Talk it all out! Reconnect. Have sex. Have date night. Do something fun. Get a little distance from MIL (who sounds like she has an issue for sure, but let him deal with that). Sounds like it was a stressful first week, so keep talking it out and putting one foot infront of the other and I’m sure next week will be better.
Post # 3
MrsBuesleBee: You give such great advice, everytime I read a comment of yours on a thread I smile. You go girl 🙂
Post # 4
I think it’s understandable to feel exhausted post wedding. You and your DH haven’t had a chance to just relax. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Post # 5
To be honest our honeymoon wasn’t our greatest week ever. I ended up having a panic attack about the fact it was all so final (totally irrational) and spent the whole week feeling a bit nervous!
Fast forward two years and we are very happy and I couldn’t be happier to be married to the man of my dreams! We also didn’t live together or have sex before marriage so marriage was a big adjustment for us. It’s all working out so far 🙂
Post # 6
MrsKay23Nov: weddings are exhausting! It sounds like you’re just living the post wedding stress. I agree with MrsBuesleBee: go have a date night. Do something that was completely you guys before you got married. You’ll be fine 😀
Post # 7
Wait, why does he have you cooking for his damn mother?
Post # 8
It sounds like you guys need some time to yourselves to come back down from all the stress and high drama that comes with getting married. It’s a really happy time, but any change is stressful. I think taking some time to relax together and talk would be a big help for you. Good luck.
Post # 9
MrsKay23Nov: Oh I think its totally normal. Remember– everything isnt sunshine and roses- sometimes you have good weeks and bad weeks! You just had a series of stressful events. Just ride it out I am sure you will get back to normal soon. PLus one to the PP about talking it out maybe
I had a really hard time right after the wedding- the finality of it kinda hit it me, even though we have been together a long time and living together for 3 year come wedding time. Cut yourself some slack its a major transition!
Post # 10
MstoMrsH: that is so sweet thank you.
Post # 11
MrsKay23Nov: Honestly, I think there is always great expectation that things will FEEL different, and life will be smiles and sunshines upon becoming Mr & Mrs, and then you wake up the morning after the wedding – after planning the biggest party you will ever throw – and things go back to the ‘same’ schedule/roles/, etc, etc, etc. All of a sudden, you are left questioning why things do not feel different, or why you are stressed about how your in laws acted, because you are never ever supposed to be stressed or upset ever again…you are a WIFE afterall 🙂
We, as women, put a ton of pressure on ourselves, and when we do that it will affect our feelings toward those we love the most. I am not saying that is why things are ‘off’, but I bet it might have something to do with it. The good news is you are normal, and well, even though we are ‘supposed’ to be on cloud 9, and in newlywed bliss, we are also human. Life will still stress you out, in laws will still maybe be a pain, even if you are a wife. The better news is that our husbands is legally bound to all of our ‘crazy’ now, so cannot run for the hills (I kid, of course).
As other PPs stated…decompress with a date night, or a bottle of wine!
Post # 12
MrsKay23Nov: Honestly you are focusing on a lot of little things and the negatives. I understand that you have been stressed and just took a big step toward committment, but if you try focusing on the positives (you married the love of your life, you are building a life together, etc), then it will help you start to feel better as well.
I am assuming you married your husband for the right reasons, maybe you just need to remind yourself of those reasons and focus on that.
Post # 13
- Wedding: November 2014 - backyard
Thank you so much bees, the stress has gotten to me and will take the advice and unwide with my DH, “date night coming 🙂 ” I love him very much, with holidays coming up, I might just rope him into taking our honeymoon much sooner than planned, even if its to another city, just for some down time.