- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
Dear god, dear abby, oparah, judge judy, fellow women, anyone?
I’ve been married a little over a month and have cried probably 91% percent of those days because I feel like my husband doesn’t love me. I feel like this guy was chasing me for years before we dated. He even joined the church I was a member of (we still go there, he is more involved than I).
He is full of white lies and when I confront him on things he has a way of turning words around, not making any sense and finally totally diverting my question and point(s). I am an overly honest and open person and say what I feel way too much, but also I feel like I have learned to say what I need in this relationship and because his communication is crap I mentioned what I think he needs and how I am willing to compromise to meet his needs as well. The guy admits I am right and swears he loves me more than anything and will not put anything in front of our relationship and bam! He forgets the entire conversation and goes off to watch a game with his buddies. I feel like he would rather be anywhere else in the world than with me. He says that isn’t true but then acts like it is.
Since married, a couple weeks ago, I couldn’t take it so acted as if we were only roommates (after a extremely tearful emotionally draining fight <not the first>). Then the relationship progressed to friendship which was a happy place for me because we were actually respecting each other. Obviously he was getting nicer and nicer to me because he wanted to get laid I presume…? Anyway, nothing changes nothing changes…. Who leaves their new wife in tears while going out to do whatever he planned on doing without talking with her about it first ….who does that? He has done it several times.
I read today, “faithfulness is physical and emotional.” That hit home. Trust is the gift of being faithful. Everytime this dude leaves and proceeded with his plans as if my feelings weren’t worth a shit (I’m crying usually) he is not being faithful. He might as well have screwed someone!
So today I had a nervous breakdown …. I knew I couldn’t handle this viscious circle again. Anyway, I’ve only communicated with him via text and asked him to be real. He said something like I respect and love you. His responses are like a robots, vauge only implying what you might want to hear and yet believe. I’m like come on! Don’t you know who you are? What you say? What you believe? HOW YOU FEEL or is it always on the fly bs? REallY!?!
He responded, “No, I don’t know who I am. I’m frustrated & confused.”
This may be the first honest thing I’ve ever heard from him…. I would just like the truth
This kid (just turned 35 has been lying just telling people what they want to hear his whole life and then just going with his next instinct with out a thought or ….second thought?
Anyway, the sentences was refreshing. Now I just have to deal with being married to a man who doesn’t know how to be honest with himself or anyone else.