Married at 16…what do you think? (Poll included)

posted 2 years ago in Beehive
  • poll: Is marrying at 16 a good decision?
    No, it's rarely ever a good decision. : (83 votes)
    53 %
    In certain circumstances (like this story), I think it makes sense. : (51 votes)
    33 %
    It can work out, but very likely will not. : (11 votes)
    7 %
    You have just as much as a chance as anyone else, regardless of age! : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Do whatever makes you happy! : (10 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    3198 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    With the severity of her condition and the fact that she lives at home would convince me to let my child marry.  However this is a pretty rare situation and I doubt in any other situations I’d agree to this.

    Post # 4
    2704 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    It really does depend on the people. I have no idea what I would do in that situation, or if I had a child in that situation.

    I met my FI when I was 24, I didn’t even have a bf till I was 19. But my parents met when they were 16, and they’ve been married for 32 years this year. Also, one of my BMs met her husband when they were 15 and they’re still togeher, (she’s 29 and he’s 30). So yes, I do believe a young relationship can last, but I would not consider allowing my child to marry this young unless an absolute rare circumstance like this were to happen.

    Post # 5
    4658 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I was an orphaned the day after my 16th birthday. I was also legally emancipated before I turned 16. I am a lot different than most my age, and mpre mature due to my life circumstances. I met my SO when I was 17 and we have been together every since. Sure we have changed and grew as a couple and individuals, but if both parties are willing to make it work, it can happen. Same with any older couple. If my child wasn’t super mature, which most are not at 16, I would not allow this. I understand some situations are different and would allow it if I knew it would make my child happy.

    Post # 6
    6671 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Well he was legally an adult. And if it were my daughter, I would have to seriously consider it- otherwise I would have to live the rest of my life knowing I denied their request. And ultimately, losing my daughter to a terminal illness would be much harder than helping her through a divorce (if it ever came to that).

    Post # 7
    1719 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think it was a sound decision considering the circumstances.

    I think getting married at 16 is fine. It all depends on the individual(s) in question. Some people are ready for marriage at a young age, and some people aren’t ready for marriage until they’re much older. That’s just how things are. Everybody’s different.  

    Post # 8
    96 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Their lives, their choice to get married.

    It’s fortunate for them that they live in the UK and not US. If they were in the US, it would be a terrible idea. Their marriage would either compromise her medical care or ruin them financially (probably both).

    Post # 9
    998 posts
    Busy bee

    When I opened this topic, I was almost certain it would be a bad idea…and I met my DBF when I was 17 and he was 15! But then I skimmed the article, and realized how much of an exceptional circumstance this was. If my teenage daughter were terminally ill and marriage would make her last few months of life happier, I would fully support her, but in most other scenarios, I would be a lot more skeptical.

    Post # 10
    1878 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN

    It sounds like try truly and seriously thought about it. If the parents were on board, I don’t really see why not, especially considering her condition.

    Post # 11
    502 posts
    Busy bee

    This situation is a marriage with a forseeable end that isn’t divorce, and that’s why people are okay with it. If I were the boy’s mom, I’d be a bit more hesitant because it’s still a teenaged guy getting engaged and married after 9 months of dating just to make a girl happy. They’re living in different homes from each other. It’s like a fake marriage except he’ll go through the rest of his life as legally widowed.

    This also doesn’t change the fact that as things get harder for the girl, that the age and speed of this commitment offers no reassurance that the husband will stick around through the worst and the fact that they got married may make this harder on the girl. Again, I point to the fact that they don’t even live together. Why get married??

    Post # 12
    2051 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    eeniebeans:  It depends on the context (eg you have to be 17 to drive and 18 to drink or smoke) but in the UK 16 is the legal age at which you can marry, so in some senses she was a legal adult too. 

    Post # 13
    484 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    I had a friend with CF. It’s about this time last year that she died while on a transplant list.

    I think this is wonderful that her family supported them in this. Like I’ve said before on the Bee  -‘age’ doesn’t seem so important to me, if you love someone, then do what makes you happy.

    My heart goes out to all of the family, I hope they have a happy and lasting marriage.

    Post # 14
    7664 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    winstonchurchill:  The advantage of getting married is that the husband will be the primary beneficiary in her will and will receive a share of her life insurance policy (if any) and disability benefits (if any). Other than that, I can’t see the advantage.

    I would have said no if I was the parent. People live longer and longer with CF nowadays. The average life expectancy is 37, although she will probably live longer than this because she is younger, and therapies are improving every day. She could certainly live long enough to regret this. Also, he is going off to university without her. He will meet lots of new people. I don’t think it bodes well. This girl is not going to drop dead tomorrow. She has potentially signed up for over 20 years of marriage…. or a painful divorce.

    Audrey2:  You can only marry at 16 with parental consent though… 18 without it. Unless you’re in Scotland, of course! I wouldn’t say you were an adult… the only thing you really get to do at 16 is to consent to sex with a partner older than yourself. We used to be able to do more things at 16, but that’s all changed over the years (as I’m sure you remember, depending on how old you are!)

    Post # 15
    582 posts
    Busy bee

    I cannot imagine being the boy’s relative & approving 🙁

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