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I would have paid the extra money to extend my reception, it went by WAY too quickly!
...I had investigated photographers a little more. I know, now, who I would have picked. NOT who I did!!! Mine has fallen off the face of the earth basically.
Budget-wise, I think I did amazing. I spent money where it was important (venue) and cut back everything that was more trivial to me (cake, flowers, limited open bar), etc. And, I'm glad we treated our bridesmaids and groomsmen the way we did. We took $50 off their tuxes and provided their dresses, hair, and makeup. Taking care of my 'maids was more important than cake 
.
Oh i wish i would have told my parents to be ready half an hour earlier. They made me late to my own damn wedding and cut into photo time! Grrrowl.
Good topic!
I realize that while, it was my day, what sticks with you is how good it feels when your guests wil tell you years later that your wedding was so much fun. I think it's worth it to spend that extra effort on your guests than more expensive flowers, etc.
I also would have gone for a different photographer and videographer. But all in all, no disaster stories.
I'm with EJS, I didn't do enough background/current references/research in regards to my photographer. A year later and several hundred dollars in legal fees and we are still working on it.
I would have done a first look before the ceremony. I was dead set against it and looking back, I wish we'd had some time just the two of us.
I would have designed my own invitations and had a bit more DIY. There are always shoulda-woulda-coulda's but I am so happy with our marriage, the one day of wedding really isn't that big a deal. Besides, there are always vow renewals one day!
I'd suggest thinking of what you want to do in your photos. I just stood there and smiled for my portraits and they look dull. The photographer got some awesome shots, but I'm not happy with my portraits and it's my own fault.
Everything else was no big deal. I didn't notice all the stuff I didn't finish. It was a great day.
Looking back at my wedding, in hindsight I realize that...things that went wrong bothered me, but not as much as I thought they would. A lot of people kept saying that when I got to the wedding day, all the things I was stressing about wouldn't be important to me at all. However, I definitely wouldn't say that they didn't bother me. I was a little annoyed when a couple of small things went wrong (wrong cake topper, broken bustle, inappropriate toast), because I'm just not someone who can let EVERYTHING go. However, the things didn't really matter that much, in the end, because we had a great time. So I guess for me, I didn't realize that even though I wouldn't be able to ignore it when things went wrong, they didn't stress me out as much as I thought they would. ;)
Looking back at my wedding, in hindsight I realize that...
I should have done a first look with my husband. I was nervous to see him for the first time and it showed in ALL of the ceremony pictures.
We should have asked our venue to pack a doggy bag for us. We were too excited to eat during the reception and when we got to the hotel, we realized we were STARVING.
I would of followed my gut and fire my photographer to hire the one I really wanted.
I would have given my florist my centerpiece inspiration picture to keep. Our centerpieces were a little smaller than I thought they would be.
Otherwise, I really wouldn't change anything! We were blessed with a wonderful day surrounded by wonderful people! Everything else is icing, you know?
Thank you all, I am taking notes! Also, I am going to add a second post with a poll, because one of my biggest worries is budget. It seems like so much! So, I'm curious as to how Bees feel about the budget in retrospect.
Looking back at my wedding, in hindsight I realize that...
I should have spent more time visiting with guests and less dancing (yes! I said it!)
I should have brought props for photography
I should have spent more money on a DJ
If you are already thinking the budget seems like so much (too much) -- scale down. That is my post-wedding advice. I had a fabulously wonderful day and wouldn't have changed a single thing, except the amount we spent on details (and we didn't spend that much -- $3,500 on everything excluding food/drink). As we were going to sleep on our wedding night, we both realized they day would have been perfectly blissful even if we spent $0 on flowers, centerpieces, etc.
Costly "details" includes the photographer, and I know that's a scandalous thing to say on the Bee. But we had so, so many friends and family give us their own pictures from the day, in addition to photos from our photographer, that I literally don't know what to do with them now. I fear they will sit in a box in my basement forever. It's not that I don't care about our wedding; you just will be surprised how fast real life reignites after you tie the knot. You will move forward with your husband, hopefully loving every minute of it, and the little things you agnoized over regarding your wedding will mean very little.
Your wedding is the center of your universe at the moment, but it's not the center of anyone else's. That's the brutal truth. Do what you need to do to make it a wonderful day for you and your hubby, but don't let others' potential opinions drive you to spend on things you don't need. There's a very real chance no one but you will appreciate them, anyway.
I wouldn't have changed a thing but what I heard from guests was that the food was great (it was a cookout, served as a buffet, pretty inexpensive - chicken, ribs, corn, summer salads) and everyone went back for 2nds), the cake was great (simple yellow butter cake with fresh strawberries and cream in the layers, French buttercream frosting decordated with local flowers) and we did a good job in putting together fun tables. We also made sure we had room for milling around during cocktails and after dinner (even an area for cigar smokers - it was an outdoor affair). We were also very pleased with choosing a really good jazz band - they played from cocktails through the reception and people could actually talk to each other but still enjoy the music. We didn't have dancing (or a dance floor) though towards the end of the reception they played a few danceable tunes.
It turned out to be a beatiful summer reception with a laid-back feel, and we were lucky enough to have a gorgeous sunset too.
Looking back at my wedding, in hindsight I realize that...
I should have been more concious to spend time with EVERY guest. There weren't that many and I feel guilty I didn't see everyone.
I should have reapplied my damn make up. I cringe at the end of the night shots.
I should have gotten ready earlier than I thought I needed to. However long you think it should take, add an hour.
I should have appointed someone AHEAD OF TIME to press play on the music. My mom asked one of my friends to do it last minute and it got all screwed up. I wish we had invested more time in the rehearsal.
Shorter readings are better. We had two longer readings and people were getting antsy.
I should have had the kids taken out as soon as the ceremony started. My nieces left with their nanny, but my 2 year old nephew stayed and shouted through all the important parts. I laugh it off now, but I wish it hadn't happened.
I should have hired an actual day of coordinator. We ended up paying the nanny a little extra. And she didn't do ANYTHING expect pick up the cake. Complete waste, and when people got to the church they were all confused about what to do.
Whew! I think that's all of them.
The only thing I would have done differently was to arrange for videography. Not necessarily a multiple thousands of dollars mini-movie, but just maybe my uncle with his videocamera. I remember the speeches were AMAZING (the only time I cried all day) but don't remember exactly what was said. And I wish our vows were on tape.
Other than that, no regrets. :)
This is a great thread CircusPeanut! Thanks for all the great advice ladies, i'll definitely be taking these into consideration! Keep it comin :)
In hindsight I realize that . . .
I should have spent a little more time with my Mom on my wedding day.
I should have spent a little less time dancing and more time visiting with guests! (Same as you lattelove!)
I should have appointed someone other than myself to watch the clock for different events during reception!
But despite these things, I had a WONDERFUL wedding, and marriage has been amazing.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like I should have spent more time with our guests (but every time I left the dance floor, so did everyone else, so I feel like my dancing time was valuable!)
The meeting planner in my dad's office gave us her services as a day of coordinator, but my BIL's gf felt beat up and like she was working the entire time. I don't know who I should have prepped better, but I feel terrible that one thought she was doing exactly what I wanted, and the other thought she was being asked to work all night by the coordinator...
Looking back at my wedding, in hindsight I realize that...
- In our great effort to cater to all of our guests and make our wedding comfortable and convenient for our guests, I should have thought a little more about US! I think if I had worried less about everyone else having a fabulous time, I could have calmed down, relaxed a little more and had a better time myself ;)
- I should have checked/fixed my hair and makeup throughout the reception. My end- of- reception pictures show some "wear and tear" on my hair style and my skin looks blotchy...
- I should have been VERY explicit with my florist with plenty of pictures and exact sizes. I was not exactly thrilled with my bouquets (I asked for Calla Lilies and she gave me all Mini-Callas)
- I should have spent more time with my Mom
- I would have made a plan with my husband about how we wanted to handle the reception (we lost each other for awhile - while we were greeting guests we ended up in different rooms - we both wish we would have done this together :) )
- I wish I would have been more assertive with my Minister. I know it sounds stupid, but I really wanted him to do two things and when i asked, he refused. It still kind of erks me. (1) I wanted to stand facing him - but he said no, so ALL our ceremony photos are from the side = no "back of the dress" shots. (2) I wanted him to simply say "You may now kiss the bride." He said this was unnecessary because DH would just know what to do. Guess what? He didn't = awkward first kiss. This is me...STILL pissed. I know, I'm shallow and I'm probably going to hell...
Wow .... really great useful information!!!!!!!!!! I never have heard of the bride dancing too much ... I am scared I will not dance enough!!!!! Ok and getting ready earlier than you need ... that freaks me out, when should I get ready? Lol.
Now I'm convinced having a first look pre-ceremony between fiance and I is the right thing to do.
I also will have my mu artist stay to touch up my mu!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, I want props for my pictures =)
I would've had someone videotape our ceremony and I would've touched up my make-up. I also would've considered getting some color on my skin outside. I couldn't do the spray tan because I sweat too much...yes, yes, tanning is terrible and I am a sunscreen freak. I still think I could've used a bit of color. I would've eaten two pieces of our cake instead of just two bites. Also, I would've splurged a bit more on our honeymoon...but at least this way we can justify a few nice vacays throughout the year.
Overall, I love, love, loved our wedding. It was so surreal and went by so quickly. Don't spend a ton of money on frilly details unless you have a ton of money and no better way to spend it. People don't notice! Even if they do notice, they wonder how much it cost and then forget about it. hehe. Focus on fun and people! I'm definitely glad we didn't spend any more than we did (under 10k total excluding rings and honeymoon. Had 150 people in the midwest, buffet dinner, beer and wine, danced ALL NIGHT AND HAD A BLAST!).
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All married Bees, I really really want to know how you would finish this statement!
Looking back at my wedding, in hindsight I realize that...
Are there things you wish you'd known? Anything you would have done differently? Things you wouldn't have stressed about? Would you have spent more, less, or the same budget-wise?
Can't wait to see your answers!