Post # 1
A while back I posted about a falling out with my Aunt and Uncle, who have had a pretty significant role in raising me. I extended an invitation to the wedding along with a letter basically saying that I wanted to make it right–they declined. My cousin (their son) said that he was still coming, up until I texted him yesterday to confirm and he told me he was going to Las Vegas with his Mom (convenient). I sent out wedding invited back in March–they’ve known about it, HE knew about it, and now he’s going to Vegas with my Aunt. I feel like she purposefully planned the trip so that it would conflict with the wedding. So…in short, the people who basically raised me and my “brother” aren’t coming to my wedding. You can read the full story in my previous posts.
Have any of you Bee’s had a significant family member not attend your wedding due to a falling out? How did you handle it? Did you reconcile after the wedding?
I’m very hurt about this, but at the same time feel I did nothing wrong to deserve this. It hurts me that they won’t be there, however, I don’t want her bringing all sorts of negativity to a day that is supposed to be the happiest day of my life.
Post # 3
my sister wont be coming coz she is jealous that i am gettting married first and she hasn’t found the one yet
Post # 4
My fiance’s sister won’t be coming because she can’t save up the airfare, despite 14 months’ notice (but she just bought an iPad and bought an iPhone for her 8-year-old). Honestly I could not care less on this one; she’s not a nice person and we don’t go out of our way to see her. Between her, her husband and her kid, that’s $500 I don’t have to spend on catering.
My sister-in-law (brother’s wife) won’t be coming. We can’t really figure out why and bro isn’t spilling it. I’m really irritated by this, but not making a stink because it’s not fair to put my brother in the middle.
Post # 5
my parents didn’t come, could afford to make the trip (well not really, they just spent it at the casino’s instead of saving it to come) they had almost 16 months notice too!!!
Post # 6
@CrazyBeautiful1: My father did not come, however he’s been too focused on his addictions and his own turmoil for years. It wasn’t a falling out, so much as his issues getting in the way of him interacting in a healthy way with people other than himself.
Post # 7
DH’s half siblings did not come. Not due to a falling out, actually we’re still not really sure why.
Post # 8
We had several not come for various reasons. There wasn’t exactly a falling out, but it was still hurtful that they didn’t make the effort to show up for the wedding. I haven’t said anything about it to these family members and nothing in our relationship has really changed since the wedding.
Post # 9
My first cousin, the only one who was my age and I grew up with. He had to “work,” aka probably went to his friend’s wedding he found out was the same day a few weeks beforehand. He works at a bar…
My godparents didn’t come, which wasn’t surprising as my mom had a falling out with my godmother pretty much as soon as I was baptized. It was just annoying that they only told us at the last minute. “Roe, Tom is a musician and as he has a job that day, we won’t be able to make it.”
Post # 10
FI’s mom has chose not to attend our wedding. FIL’s are going through a nasty divorce and FI asked her not to bring her boyfriend out of respect to his dad. She got pi**ed and said since he isn’t welcome she will be staying home which is fine by me although I’m sure FI is still upset his mom is acting like a child even though he says he doesn’t care if she attends.
Post # 11
@StuporDuck: Sounds so similar to my own mother (hence why my aunt and uncle became caretakers for me). She struggles with he own addictions, and although she wouldnt miss my wedding for the world, the possibility of her being more of a pain in the butt is high. BUT, she’s my mother and despite the issues we’ve had throughout my life, she’s still going to be there….unlike my aunt and uncle who have allowed ego and their need to be right motivate their decision not to come.
Post # 12
@CrazyBeautiful1: I remember your post and I’m kinda happy for you that your Aunt isn’t coming. She is not a nice person and do not let her absence rain on your parade. I was afraid she would come and try to ruin it for you.
That being said, my older (half) sister did not come to my wedding nor did my oldest (half) brother. My sister suffers from depression and was having a spell of it. I understood. She missed my shower too. My brother was having financial issues. None of my nephews or niece showed up either, all 5 of them. I was hurt but I knew that those who were there were already destined to be so I let it go.
Post # 13
My husband’s sister didn’t come because even though they had two year’s notice, they didn’t find a babysitter for her son. We had an adult only wedding, and I think his family thought we’d cave at the last minute. But we didn’t and do regret it.
Post # 14
My grandparents on my mom’s side 🙁
Post # 15
My (maternal) grandmother refused to attend and I have not spoken with her since she made her decision two+ years ago. It didn’t upset me the day of the wedding but once in awhile it’ll make me sad that she broke our relationship to prove a point. I think she regrets it but I don’t see us reconciling.
Post # 16
@karatechick27: It’s not your fault! Two years is more than enough times to make an arraingment. Imagine if they would have showed up with their child and other’s had found babysitters. THAT happened at our wedding: we didnt’ have money in the end for a babysitter so my SIL brought our nephew. Even though they live 15 hours away, my family was PISSED because they did find sitters.
Either way, you’re damned if you do and damned if you dont