Post # 1
Anyone have their relationships with their bridesmaids/MOH change after the wedding?
I have been brought closer to two girls since the wedding but there has been a serious wedge since the wedding with me and a bridesmaid…
Anyone else in the same boat?
Post # 3
@californiabride2013: I am distant with two of my bridesmaids and then have completely stopped talking to one of them (we were drifting before the wedding and kind of had a final good-bye at the reception, it was a mutual understanding/feeling). My MOH and I are as close as ever 🙂
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2013 - Cornucopia St. Charles
One of my bridesmaids left her husband one month before the wedding. It created a lot of unnecessary drama at the time, but I stood by my girl, lost one friend over that, and also lost her husbands friendship when I stood by her. She moved far away and we try to keep in touch but she is very fragile and needy. Quite frankly I’m happy with the distance. My MOH was my sister, we will always be close and she is marrying in 2014 and I’m her MOH. My other bridesmaid was was my husbands daughter, no change there!
Post # 6
@californiabride2013: I am not as close with most of the women I’ve stood up for as I was before the wedding. I still like them, there are no hard feelings, and we touch base with each other around holidays, their anniversaries, etc. In virtually all the cases it was just a “different life stages and aspirations” thing–most of them went strong into the “wife and mom” life and understandably grew closer with others who had done the same. I love and value them all for the close friendship they showed me at a certain time in my life and have no regrets or about (or feel “owed” for) the time and money I spent when I stood up for them. I get the sense that these sorts of changes in relationship dynamics happen more often than not. I do imagine that anyone who was expecting the dynamics to stay exactly the same (either bride or bridesmaid) might find herself disappointed?
Post # 7
we are all still best friends. same before, same after.
Post # 8
I’m close with most of them still. There’s one girl who got married before us – and we did EVERYTHING for her wedding. I was freaking exhausted because it was all DIY, and we (the BMs) were literally the hosts of the wedding, made sure people had food/drink, organized, cleaned, the whole shebang. It was miserable, but whatever, she was happy.
She was basically absent for everything for my wedding 3 months later, and we see each other once every few months now (down from once or twice a week). Whatever, she’s the star in her own show, and she can have it that way.
Post # 9
I chose all family except for one friend so I know my relationship with them will remain the same 🙂
Post # 10
Same or better. I had my sister, SIL, and two best friends. The only change would be that over the wedding planning process, I would say my sister and I became even closer as a result of spending a lot more time together than we have in recent years.
Post # 11
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Matron of honor is my SIL of 13 years and counting. We’ve been close for eons, and are still close now. Man of honor is my son. No change in relationship there.
Post # 12
I’m still close to all of them except the one that brought the dude she was having an affair with instead of her husband (I’m friends with her husband, I was pissed)
Post # 13
I am an older Bee… so I can tell you it happens.
Life changes… and takes on a new dynamic when you marry.
It is one of those Milestones in life where people and friendships change… you’ll find there are many as you age… When you leave HS – when you graduate College – when you Marry – when you have Kids – When you move cities – When you Retire etc.
It is hard to keep friendships going all thru your life… and therefore pretty rare.
My current BFFs are women I’ve known since my kids were little (about 20 years). I have almost no contact with people who were in the phase of my life prior to that… cause of the fact that life changes seperated us over time… end of College – Marriages (mine & theirs) – Moves.
Hope this helps,
Post # 14
I finally decided to talk to one of my bridesmaids this weekend regarding the wedding and her behavior. (I spent months going back and forth about whether to have this conversation. I decided that to move on with my life and put issues to rest I brought it up)…..
While I am not pleased at what she had to say, at least I have her perspective on things.
I am not sure about our friendship in the future but at least I am at peace with myself……..
Post # 15
I didn’t vote because im not there yet, but Fi and I have been together for 5 years and living together for 4 1/2. we pretty much have lived like a married couple since the very beginning and im still very close with all my bms/moh. I live in Miami,FL. Half of them live out of state, and I’m actually going to visit a few next week in NYC (and some family) and my MOH in Nashville the week after. My fi surprised me with the tickets and said I needed my girls now more then ever. I made sure that the person I planned to marry was compatible with my friends so that I never felt the need to choose. I am the type of friend to have long term friends. I don’t mind the husbands, or the babies, or the change of lifestyle.
I used to have tons of “friends” but they were “study friends” “classmates” “party friends” “work friends” etc. Those come and go.
I’m sure things happen and I may not be close to a few of them 10 years from now, but for now all is fine.
Post # 16
We both lost out best friends in the process of the wedding, I also am no longer w friends with someone I was close to for many years as she was supposed to cater our wedding and bailed the day before. My MOH is a family member and in the last year we have had serious conflict as she stole a large amount of money from our family. So things have changed for the worse with some. And then others we have grown very close to