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Keep it to a minimum. Only ones that still bother you weeks later.
My one big and only regret was that I never got "official/posed" pictures with the groomsmen or the flower girls and ring bearers.
I never got pics with me and just the groomsmen because I wanted them to run rehearsal. And while they were running rehearsal some guests had arrived super early.(Seriously who arrives at 4/430 for a 530 ceremony? Totally killed my picture taking time) And I didn't want anyone else to see me in my dress prior to the ceremony. I guess I could have tried to get the photographer and the guys somewhere the guests won't be to take pics. Even if it was indoors somewhere.
While we were taking pictures one of the flower girls were taking a nap so we had thought we will do it later. (I'm a little sore about that one because MIL knew we were taking bridal party pictures so I don't know why she could not have waited 20 mins before putting her down for her nap) But time just flew by and we forgot.
I also wished I taken the time to take pictures during the reception with our immediate family and especially the kids. I was SO looking forward to getting pictures with all the kids. A big ol shot with my husband and I and all five of the kids. But there was just always something to tend to or a question that needed to be answer.
I remember a couple times that the kids would come up to me to show me something and I would ask them to wait because I was in the middle of something with the maitre'd. I wish I would have told the maitre'd to wait.
All in all that's my only regret of the day so I guess that's pretty great considering most brides have a mile long list of regrets.
I don't have my pro pics back yet so I'm hoping to be pleasantly surprised with some candid pictures of us with the kids! It's not like we did not spend any time with the kids and our family. Just not as much as I had hoped to.
My only regret is issues with sound for our ceremony. We didn't have power, were right next to a beautiful waterfall, and our portable sound system was totally washed out. About 1/2 our guests couldn't hear the ceremony, but at least we kept it short.
@Gerbera I think i kind of have the same regret. I didnt get a picture of just me with the GM, or the Groom with the BM...there also arent alot of just me....and there isnt ONE of the back of my dress :(
Mine:
Really, it was a great day and I loved it. Granted, there were lots of problems, but I don't care that much anymore.
Oh gosh, I don't regret hiring our photographer, but I do regret not reviewing the contract closer beforehand and letting him take over our schedule too much. He took amazing pictures and was worth the $, but we didn't realize that we don't get rights to the pictures for years and only 50 images in our album which is a total ripoff. We also didnt' get to ride in the party bus with our bridal party becasue he was being controlling, but again, we got amazing shots and it was really efficient so it wasn't the end of the world.
I also regret not being firmer with my BM's about spending time with me that morning. I never specifically told them to stay so they all left after hair to do get food and do makeup elsewhere. I wish they would have been a little more attached to me for those couple of hours.
Even though our flower girl screamed/talked loudly through our entire ceremony, I don't regret having her. It is unfortunate that happened, but it would have caused such a rift with my in-laws if she wasn't allowed in the church.
- Not getting my dress professionally altered (a friend's mom did it and it didn't quite fit right still :-P)
- Not doing a meal (we did just desserts, which was alright, but I missed getting to sit down and share a meal with our guests)
- Choosing bridesmaids who weren't excited about the wedding (it meant that my husband and I planned everything ourselves and they didn't even share in the excitement of the process)
- Not having our first dance (we planned to, but we didn't have a DJ so my husband was just going to put together a playlist on his ipod, but ran out of time)
Not adding more time to our photography package. At 5 hours we made it to the end of dinner and cake cutting, but we have no pictures of dancing.
That's the only thing I'd go back and change if I could!
By far the BIGGEST regret I have is not hiring a DOC coordinator. It was totally out of our budget, but she/he would have fixed all the things that went wrong that day.
I think pictures is my biggest regret too. I wish I had gotten more with my Mom. I never got any formal pics with my brothers separately. Just with us in a group. And I would of liked more candid or impromptu photos with friends. Oh well, what can ya do? If that's my biggest regret, that's not so bad!
not taking more photos of DH and I. Due to the rain :/ so it was kind of out of our control but we did our best.
I wish we would have done more different poses - I didn't love all of them and wish we could have more variety. also I wish we got some that were so standard that it was boring - but regular.
I wish I would have told my mom (and anyone else in the suite) to be dressed and ready when I got ready. She was in regular clothes without make up and didn't want to be in many photos such.
I forgot to make my thank you speech! Seriously... I have been writing down little things I wanted to say for months, but then once we got into it with all the food and people and excitement- my brain just went out the window... That's pretty much it... There are things I wouldn't have spent so much money on, or things that I wish i had asked my photog to take pictures of but I never did... but those things probably won't bother me weeks from now.
my regret now is that we didn't honor both sets of our parents more as they're both celebrating 30 years of marriage! we said thank you and have photos of their wedding, but i think it would have been really special to honor that more.
we had lots of other little and big things that went wrong, but i didn't let it bother me on our wedding day and i try not to let it mar how i felt that weekend, which was FULL of love.
@moderndaisy: It really is tricky to predict how a FG or RB will act. My FG was a few mos shy of 4 yrs and had a major meltdown as we were lining up, and ended up being carried down the aisle by my sister's fiance ahead of us. Thankfully she was quiet during the ceremony, although as I said in my post above, we were by a waterfall so I didn't hear much of anything besides the officiant and DH.
Mine:
-having the string quartet play at our cocktail hour. wasn't necessary since the cocktail was only an hour and guests were totally preoccupied with food and drinks. also, i think i could have opted for a trio or perhaps just a cello soloist which would have been cheaper and just as nice.
-making premium alcohol brands available. most of our guests stuck with the basics but there were a couple friends who went for stuff like the Johnnie Walker Blue. And if that bottle was opened just for one drink, we had to pay for the whole bottle. ouch!
-second guessing my wedding planner and floral designer in the few weeks before the wedding. i had the typical bridal stress in the few weeks prior where I was second guessing everyone and all the decisions i had made about the wedding. I should have known that they were professionals and knew how to do their job! Luckily that became very apparent the day before and day of the wedding so I could eventually relax and let them take charge!
I regret not getting some of the pictures that I wanted with family and not asking someone to video tape the first dance we worked so hard on. I regret not planning a better strategy to say goodbye to people the next morning, we didn't have time for a full brunch but SOMETHING would have been nice.
Other than that, we had an amazing wedding where the regrets only came after and I was able to relax and enjoy every minute of it, so I guess I can't really complain!
1) Not getting some of the photos we wanted
2) Getting myself too worked up on the wedding day and making myself sick. Literally.
I regret not trying out my shoes for very long before our wedding, and going with beauty over comfort. My feet killed!
My husband's family ruined our first dance. About 30 seconds in, they tackled Mike and chained a ball and chain to his ankle, and put an apron on me. It was insulting (yeah, like now that Mike is married, he never gets to leave the house?? please. And I'm stuck in the kitchen??), embarrassing, and they knocked my veil off and messed up my hair. I deleted every single picture of it from our photo CD.
Thanks! I don't know if I'll ever be fully over it. We did have the DJ replay our song at the end of the night and we danced again. Our photog had left by then, but my friend got some really great photos.
I regret not going with my gut and having my friend do my wedding instead of my husbands friend. The long story:
I got engaged in January 2009. I had just started school for Photography. My husband and I went to dinner and asked his friend "S" to come. "S" is a photographer and we just assumed he would be our photographer. He and hubby have been friends for years and he gets offended when people he knows don't ask him. Hubby asked him how much he would charge us to shoot our wedding. He said he'd do it for free. We explained we were getting married in St. Thomas and we'd be willing to pay for his airfare and he would have to pay for the hotel and everything else. He was okay with that.
Fast forward to 2.5 weeks before the wedding. "S" has managed to get airfare, 2 nights in the hotel, and $100 for gas from us. No contract, since we're friends and all. He gets offended when he finds out that we weren't going to pay for activities and his food the whole time he's going to be there. He started talking crap about about my husband for not paying for his entire 4 day trip, when that wasn't the agreement. "S" to my husband he wasn't going to go if we didn't pay for the stuff that he shouldn't have to since he was working.
I have now been in school for nearly a year and a half. I have developed friendships with people who have been shooting for years now. One friend, "P" did my engagement photos and my bridals. I LOVED them. I found out all the stuff that had been said right before going to class. My friend was there and I told him what was going on. I asked him if he was free the weekend of my wedding. He was and said he'd be fine if I bought his airfare and the 2 nights in the hotel room that we already paid for. He was totally okay with paying for his own food and other stuff. I also offered the difference in double occupency in the hotel room if he wanted to bring his wife. He said he would ask her.
I talked to my husband and he sent "S" a text saying that we were paying for what had already been paid, nothing more and he had until noon to make a decision. We would have been out $300 for the cost of "S" airfare and $300 for "P" to fly down instead. The next day "S" decides he will go down. I let "P" know, and he says if anything changes to let him know.
I got the photos from "S" a week after we got back, they were unedited and he shot them in Jpeg, not RAW (Jpegs lose data every time they're saved and certain edits in Photoshop aren't great). He didn't get a single photo of me with my parents who divorced years ago - the last photo I have of them with me was when I was 5. It was my 1 request. They aren't especially impressive. I have 2 out of over a thousand that I love. He didn't take any photos at the reception. I have 2 that my dad took.
I had all the intentions to wear my shoes around the house...even did a couple times. But not nearly enough as I had hoped to. Day of my feet were KILLING me by the end of the night. But I changed into flip flops the end of the night and it was so totally worth it. ;)
I'm so sorry. That's not funny. At. All.
I wish I had been firmer with some vendors about how I wanted things to look. The decor for the ceremony was nice, but not at all what I had envisioned, and I never had the chance to try to implement some of my ideas.
My photographer because she was a piece of poop. Big stinky poop. But otherwise, that was it.
If i could, I'd have not included this chick in my wedding.
But hey, can't have everything and all in all, if this is the worst, so be it.
@Chillmer: WHOA! How awful and inconsiderate of them, I'm so sorry. I hope you guys got to enjoy some more intimate dances after that.
I really have no regrets from the day but I also wish I understood my photography contract better. I have a DVD with like 2000 images with full rights but they're all unedited. Since they're all about 5 - 15 MB and I know nothing about graphic editing, I'm kinda clueless about how to use them. When I try to post them here, on Facebook or Shutterfly I get lo-resolution crappy images. They're too big to email to anyone...And because they're unedited, they are not as pretty-perfect as the other professional ones I see here. The ones he blogged are edited but they're some of my least favorite photos of the bunch :( We only get an album with 50 which I'm sure will be edited but I can't choose 50 among so many :( Off topic but let me know if anyone has any suggestions.
Aw. that sucks. Do you have any friends that are good at photoshop?
Or. Pick the ones that are your fave, that you want edited, save a copy somewhere for yourself to edit. DL a free 30 day trial of Photoshop and play around with it yourself?
Mine:
- Allowing my husband to talk me into using his Aunt's event company for our rentals (she ended up trying to screw us out of 2k)
-Letting said Aunt bully me into our DJ (who was rude to our guests)
- Not spending more time finding the "right" pair of shoes (I ended up buying some from target the day before)
- Our photographer was good, but not our style and it's my fault. I didn't do my research.
- I wish I would have spent more time with my husband during the wedding.
- Shooting guest with a firework. My dad hired two young men he employs for my wedding to park vehicles, but also allowed them to do the firework display under my Uncle's supervision. My uncle was irritated I didn't allow his grandkids, or any children for that matter at the wedding so he 'dissapeared' during this time (I can't prove this is what happened, but it was convenient). The young men accidently shot a firework into the wedding tent being careless. Someone got hit and it was a disaster.
-Letting people bully me.
- Taking four hours of the reception to take care of the fiance of one of my husband's friends who showed up sans her fiance. She got really drunk, propsitioned many of guests, and then vomitted on me. I spent the rest of the night trying to track down her fiance to pick her up. They were in a fight and she eventually passed out. My husband and i ended up driving her 2 hours back to her house at 4 a.m. when she came to- she refused to spend the night and was going to drive drunk. Yeah, and she threw up on my husband on the way home. We should have called an ambulance to deal with her- but I was caught up in the moment and didn't want to be a jerk.
- Not having my parents control my sister/MOH better. She insulted my husband's aunt (I didn't care for her either)- but there was no need and it made things difficult after the wedding.
- Feeling guilty about our wedding to this day. It was beautiful, wasn't the happiest day of my life which is fine, but I hate feeling guilty about it.
@meliss: Why can't you choose 50? That's pretty standard and it's nice he's allowing you to choose them :) My contract states I edit 70+ photos that tell the story of your day at my discretion. The reason I choose is because some brides become overwhelmed when presented with 2000 photos. I also will edit additional images, but it costs extra.
If you wouldn't mind, PM me and I'll give you my personal email. I'd like to see one of the files- it doen't make sense why they would appear low resolution- but facebook is notorious for making photos look like crap.
I wish I'd been more insistent about finishing the DIY projects ahead of schedule. One of my BMs offered to make necklaces for all the BMs (I planned to buy them but she stopped me and said we could make better ones) and she also offered to help finish up my reserved seating signs.
Unfortunately, she brought all the unfinished jewely and reserved signs to my room to finish while we got hair and make-up done. My mom wanted to hang out with us as well and she got put to work on the crafts. Because my mom rocks, she managed to finish the majority of it and was very nice about the whole thing. (I think she likes being put to work.) But we would've been ready to take pictures earlier if it hadn't been left to the last minute.
After all that, my DOC left the reserved signs in my room and they barely got put on the chairs before the ceremony. Fortunately, everyone walked past the bar to get into our ceremony space so people were too busy drinking to go take a seat.
I also wish I'd broken in my shoes better, but I switched to Vans quickly and I was in my reception dress as soon as the first dance was finished. Much more comfortable.
I wish we'd realized our friends party hard and ponied up for the extra hour in advance. It would've saved us about $400. Luckily, our friends love us and took up a small collection to help pay for the extra hour. (Which we could have covered completely on our own but it would've been rude to refuse the money.)
that somehow we didn't order like..any vegetable dishes. it was all meat and carbs, yo! I have no idea how that happened, but I guess someone other than mr. sew and I should have looked over the menu. hahah. i didn't hear any complaints, but I wouldn't be surprised if there was one or two.
@maureen9004: Someone threw up on you on your wedding day?
You are clearly a very enlightened and evolved sort of person. Had it been me, I'd be in prison for (at least) attempted homicide.
@teaadntoast: Yes, they did. Someone handed me one of those catering trays and she finished in that while I held it. When I got my picture CD I deleted all the photos of that happening- I wish I would have kept them now. Maybe they'd be funny today :)
My only regret is not getting some of the pictures I wanted. Our photographer was AMAZING, and I love all the photos we have, but there were some specific ones that I wanted that we didn't get.
I wouldn't necessarily call this a regret... more of a "if I could do it over again" statement, but I would not have hired a string quartet for our ceremony and cocktail hour. I think it would have been just as lovely to have our DJ play the instrumentals we wanted instead of shelling out extra money for the string quartet.
That being said, our wedding was absolutely perfect and I only look back on it with fondness! It was the most beautiful day, filled with so much love and joy! :)
We had guests show up WAY early, too! We were trying to do just photos of my guy and me outside, and they were all watching, so I felt nervous and I don't think we got good ones.
Our officiant suddenly pulled out a ukelele and did an AWFUL super awkward song. It was a total surprise and I did not like it. He totally skipped the beautiful things that we had agreed that he would say. I feel cheated.
I would have not gotten boutonniere for the groom or the groomsmen. I hated the way they turned out, and they ruined some of my professional portraits. Case in point:
Speak into the calla-phone:
Yes, this is mostly a photographer thing, but I LOVED our photographer and 95% of the pictures we received. I just don't love "speaking into the microphone."It looks like I'm about to chomp it!
This is my biggest wedding regret. Seriously. Oh, but it's also kind of funny =)
@Sage: LOL! You two are a beautiful couple though.
@Gerbera: Thanks for the suggestion. Yeah I'd definitely need to find someone else. I'm a numbers kinda girl through and through, completely artistically challenged.
Nothing! We eloped and did a wedding-moon and it was the best decision I've ever made. Our wedding day was stress free and we could focus on each other.
We are having a reception at home and because we are already married it will be more relaxed and I will have more time to spend with friends.
@sage ha, i wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't pointed it out! but cute picture though
Reminds me though of my issue with the bouts--I would've gotten the men a 2nd bout for the evening. Our wedding was at 6pm and dinner/reception was at 7. But we did the first look and all the pictures beforehand early in the afternoon. the men's stephanotis bouts looked great in the group pictures early in the day, but were completely wilted by start of the reception. I only noticed in the pictures afterwards and it really wasn't a big deal at all actually. But if i did it all over again, I would've gotten a 'refresher' boutonierre or had them take it off later in the evening.
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