(Closed) Married Bees What should have you paid more attention to??

posted 7 years ago in Recaps
Post # 3
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@blondebride2:

I actually came on this board to write the exact same question!! Let’s hope we get some answers soon!!!

Post # 4
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

It’s a twofold answer

Spending more time with immediate family/getting more pictures with them.

Not in a “must take photo list” for your photographer kind of way. She was great and captured everything I hoped she would and more!

But I wish I stopped to spend more time with our immediate family thus getting more candid pictures with them. There def are pictures like that but we both wished we had more.

Would having a event planner/day of coordinator solve that? Maybe, maybe not. Because although were busy it wasn’t like I was busy running around doing stuff. Our caterers were great and did all of that. It was just the changing of outfits, the cutting of cakes, the divvying out of tips, the things you must do as the bride & groom etc etc.

So my advice? Set up a phone reminder or something that say “SPEND TIME WITH FAMILY!”

Post # 5
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m probably not the type of bride you’re looking for an answer from, but honestly for us … we got too caught up in what we were “supposed” to do. I loved our wedding and don’t have any regrets, but I focused so much energy on feeling like we had to feed people a full meal, etc. that I neglected some of the ideas that 1) would’ve saved us a lot of money, and 2) could’ve given our wedding a different feel.

I spent a lot of time lusting after the idea of a morning ceremony with brunch reception, but just kept coming back to feeling like it wasn’t right to not feed OOT guests a full dinner meal.

In retrospect, that was really silly of me. Did they enjoy mass produced chicken and pork more than they would’ve quiche and mimosas? Probably not. If they were willing to travel to see us get married, they weren’t really coming because of the reception, they were coming because of the ceremony.

I think the overwhelming influence of blogs and the boards and society and what have you not kind of twisted my arm into focusing more on the party, and less on the purpose (i.e. the marriage/ceremony).

Post # 6
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

i think everything went smoothy and almost perfect! i wouldnt change a thing except mingle with my husband more  i felt like we spent the whole night entertaining others that we barely got to spend time together even though we were together almost the whole time.

and im going to agree wtih gerbera too – FAMILY! i didnt see my brothers and sisters much during the reception

Post # 7
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Oh I have one! If you’re getting ready somewhere other than home, make sure it’s nice! Splurge a little if you can and get a nice hotel room and keep it clean and clutter free. Hubby will be spending a lot of time photoshopping out the fridge and big flourescent light and BMs make up bag, etc…

Post # 8
Member
5894 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would have visited my flowers at the shop the day before or paid to have a test piece done. That way I could have avoided the wrong colored flowers showing up!

I would have gone with my gut and got a 2nd shooter. I had a small (55 person) afternoon (no dancing) wedding, so everyone said it wasn’t necessary, but I don’t have any pics from the cocktail reception. Or I would have done what some bees have posted–done an “I spy”/ “please take pic” list and put it in the wedding program.

I would have had the cake cutting between the 2nd and 3rd course so the end wasn’t as rushed. (They could plate the cake while we ate the main course)

Post # 9
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I think @daydreamwanderer has good advice regarding following your dream in planning the wedding.

That’s what I did for the most part and I obsessed over every detail that mattered to me (my vows and the ceremony, music, food, invites, faux-to booth) before our wedding. But I made a deal with myself that on the actual day of my wedding I would not worry about anything, I would just have a good time and enjoy being with my new husband, my family, and my friends. It was a strategy that really worked for me and I had a wonderful day. Probably not exactly the kind of response you were looking for… make sure you are planning the wedding that you and your FI want and focusing on the details that are important to you both.

Post # 10
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I thought my mother was crazy decorating the house and moving furniture for perfect pictures shots LOL, but it ended up being really important to not have to photoshop anything out of the background in your getting ready pictures.

Also your ceremony. I know most people focus on the reception more, but pick beautiful music and have a nice aisle runner and beautiful flowers. I had so many people comment on how beautiful the church ceremony was (that was my mothers doing again lol)

Details not to stress over (not saying I didn’t stress over them):

1) Invitations- They just get thrown away

2) Must have song list- If you pick a good DJ they know that they are doing

3) Don’t go broke over a cake- It makes some nice pictures and then gets cut up. Just make sure it’s edible.

 

Post # 11
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I wish i had mingled with my family more. I know we visited every table and spend i think 5-10 minutes at EACH table…but it felt like a “had to” instead of a “want to”

Basically, probably like most brides, I wish i could have just slowed the day down a little and took in everything a little more 🙂

Post # 12
Member
1105 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I wish we had a better photographer, but ours backed out last minute and my mom found this one, but I think he was better suited for senior pictures than weddings.  He just didn’t take the pictures I thought should have been taken, which leads to #2 on my what I should have done list…..make a photo list!!!! Also wish I hadn’t locked myself out of the church which made me hurry to start at 6:30, because I wasn’t going to not start on time:)

Post # 13
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I would have gotten more photos with my bridesmaids/MOH. My sister and I were sad there were only two photos of us, one with her kissing my cheek and another where she was ‘picking my nose’. It would have been nice to have more fun poses, since the pictures with the party are all bland and the same. But the photos with my husband came out great and had a lot of candids, so thats what really matters. I think another important thing is to just go with the flow. There were a lot of things I spent a lot of time worrying about/making that were lost in the chaos of the day, and it really wasn’t a big deal.

DO NOT have guests throw bird seed! My grandma insisted on this even though I didn’t want it, and I gave in. I ended up with bird seed in my hair until I showered them all out (visible in some photos) and painful red bumps where birdseed had slipped into my dress! Not sexy when I pulled off the dress.

Post # 14
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee

 

  1. pictures – I was very nonchalant about my photos. I told my photographer to capture the fun, family, and fellowship. She did a GREAT job, but looking back there are several pictures that I wish I had. 
  2. time with guests – we did our greeting after the ceremony. I can NOT think of what the line is called..receiving line?? We did that so that we did not have to go table to table at the reception. However, I was in such a blur and bliss directly after the ceremony and the drinks were flowing at the reception, so I feel like there were guests I didn’t even see.
  3. I did a great job of this, so I always want to pass this advice on. SCREW ETIQUETTE, screw others opinions and input if it does not make you and your husband to be happy don’t do it! It’s your day, your money and you should have the time of your life!

 

Post # 15
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@roxy821:

hahah. We did the bridal pick up at my family’s home. My husband and I were shocked, I mean shocked!, when we got into town a couple days before the wedding at how tidy and organized the house was! Don’t get me wrong my mom is a clean person but there’s 3 adults, one 7yr old and constantly many other adults and children coming over so the house is usually very cluttered. But man! My mom really tidied up the house and uncluttered it. We both thought it was hilarious and super sweet at the same time.

Post # 16
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m gonna have to agree with some of the other posters here.  I wish my husband and I had spent more time together at the reception (not that we didn’t have fun, it just would have been even better), and that we had thought through which pictures we wanted more.  I wish I had some pro pics with a couple more groups of friends, and some different family shots.  I don’t think I have any pictures with just me and my parents!

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