ONLY Date / Marry a Man who loves you a tiny bit more than you love him
(Less heartbreak that way)
Ok, I’m only half-joking, having learned many a lesson from marrying young and being married for 20+ years the first time.
Ladies, if it is hard now to get him to see your POV be it about your Relationship, or stuff within it (differences on money, inlaws, kids, etc) IT ISN’T GOING TO GET ANY BETTER WHEN YOU GET MARRIED
When you get married things DON’T CHANGE
If anything they get worse…
As Men tend to become even more engrained in their habits / stance, and who they are.
There is an old saying that holds true…
“Women marry Men they see potential in… and dream of how they want to be in the FUTURE… (change them to meet that potential) … Men are far more simple… they marry women for who they are NOW… (and want them to never change) “
Neither point of view is realistic, or attainable. IF either of you think this way going in… there will be a lot of heart-ache down the road.
Dating and especially being Engaged to be Married… should be the happiest time in your Relationship. It should also be the easiest & most carefree.
If it isn’t, then you could very well be with the wrong guy for you…
I get that you’ve fallen head over heels in Love… but sometimes LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH
Love isn’t the ONLY ingredient that makes for a Good Relationship / Marriage.
You also have to BOTH have… similar Goals, Values, Beliefs… be able to Commmunicate, Compromise, be Compassionate… and 100% ++++ Committed.
Unlike Dating, you are in this for the long haul / keeps. You NEED to be able to go the distance… to tirelessly say “I LOVE YOU”… “I’ll do it”… “Thank You”… and “I’m Sorry”
Marriage is about making sacrifices for the other person… without keeping score !!
A GREAT Relationship / Mariage is about wishing the best for the other person, and making it so. And in turn, it makes you a better person… cause your partner is doing the same for you. It lifts you up. It doesn’t make you feel anything but being in a better place than you’d be without them (no inadequacy, unworthy, etc)
If this isn’t the Relationship you have now… then it might be best to recognize that now… cause altho breaking up is never easy… and breaking and Engagement difficult… NOTHING CAN COMPARE that comes with the total Devastation that Divorce can bring into your life !!
(I wouldn’t wish that sh!t on my worst enemy).
I wish I could go back to my 20 year old self, and give that woman a good shake…
Don’t do what I did, when I went into my First Marriage with blinders on…
Get it right the first time… it is a H3LL of a lot easier & rewarding (not to mention financially smart too… I’d be tons richer today if I had married the right guy the first time, no matter how little income we had… cause all that My Ex & I built in 20+ years got blown away in the Divorce. Starting over in my 40s was no fun, and extremely difficult on so many levels)