Post # 1
Just a random poll for the married Bees either with babies, TTC’ing or are planning very soon, when did the baby bug kick in?
I fit into 1~2 years. To be precise, I warmed up to the idea of TTC only recently and we’ll be trying from beginning of next year (prepping period from now till January 2018).
If you want to give any background story, you are welcome to!
The reasons why I was against TTC until only recently (despite some family pressure – not a lot but it was certainly talked about regularly) include financial reasons- not having enough savings, still renting etc (did post about the property issue -we live in a city with a massive property bubble atm), I was only about 3 years into my career when I married my DH, my DH and I were still adjusting to the married life and we were still learning to share a space with another person after going straight into marriage from living with respective parents for 30+ years (which has settled down A LOT and we hardly argue anymore).
And also I’ve recently become more realistic about my expectations. My expectations were too high, I am a perfectionist generally and it causes a lot of anxiety for myself and people around me and actually hinders any progress… I wanted at least 500K+ savings to cover for the fact that I might not go back to work for at least 2-3 years plus a debt-free home before TTC which I realised only recently was unrealistic and at that rate I’ll never conceive- I’m 31 now)
And I wanted to reach a level where even if no-one wants to employ me after giving birth, I can start my own professional practice …but looks like that will take a while in my industry (at least 10 years to be safe) and realised that all these expectations and wanting to achieve a certain level just doesn’t coincide with my age and fertility.Also I started my career quite late which led to this. But thankfully my employer has agreed to maternity leave plus flexible working arrangements if I do end up having a baby (loose discussions).
Once I started thinking about babies, the idea of TTC and becoming a mother, it really started kicking in!
We’ve been married almost 1.5 years now. I feel this is an average amount of years couples spend together after the wedding before they consider conceiving.
Or maybe not! Would love to find out when it all started and those Bees with babies – how has it been so far? Would also love to hear about how it has been going back to work after having a baby.
Post # 2
I voted 6 months. We’ve been married for 3 months and will TTC in Sept. Honestly I don’t feel ready and wish we had more time just the 2 of us. But we are 35/37 and have already been together over 10 years (living together for 9) so shouldn’t put it off any longer.
Post # 3
MrsJumboKappo : before getting married we both had some crazy baby fever, but we were not in a place in the life to comfortably afford kids. Once we got married life happened: we have very long hours jobs, we can’t buy a place due to a market bubble, I got sick … So we postponed our baby ideas for 3-4 more years and got a cat instead for a baby fever attacks 😉
Post # 4
I was always excited about babies. For my husband and I it kicked in after a month of dating when we found out I was pregnant haha. We were shocked, but then really excited. We havent had a succesful pregnancy though 🙁
Post # 5
mrs2014 : that sounds similar to us – except the baby fever… long hour jobs, massive market bubble… 😭
Post # 6
- Wedding: April 29th, 2016
MrsJumboKappo : Definitely in the first year. As soon as we got married, we started being a little less careful. The idea of an “accident” happening doesn’t really scare us like it used to. In fact, I’d almost welcome it as I know I’ll be a total over-planner about TTC next year. I already am being one lol My baby fever got really strong around the 1 year mark this April and we ended up adopting a dog earlier this month, and caring for her has definitely made the feeling subside! I feel like our little family is complete for now 🙂 Looking forward to taking at least one more (pre-baby) big trip then TTC in 2018!
Post # 7
I wouldn’t exactly call it baby fever, but we’ve been married about 3 months and the idea of having a child is definitely becoming more concrete rather than a far off fantasy. We don’t intend to ttc until next year, but I went off birth control after finishing my last pack a couple weeks ago, and we’re def being a little less careful than before (pull out method and a prayer lol). We agreed that while we don’t exactly want to get pregnant tomorrow, it wouldd be ok if that happened. Which is a total change in mindset from OMG WOULD BE A DISASTER, which was how I felt before we got married. We are 32/36 fwiw.
Post # 8
Soon after getting married, I went through a baby fever type phase, but it passed after a couple months. We both have some things we want to get done before we start trying- buy a house, pass a big career related milestone for me, go on some planned trips. We are about half-way through our list now and will start trying in about a year if all goes to plan.
DH seems super ready now though. I’m going through a rough patch at my job, and he thinks I would be way happier if we just have a kid now and I quit my job. I really want to finish our list though. We’ll buy a house next spring and that’s the one I for sure want to accomplish before we TTC.
Post # 9
I voted before engagement. I have always wanted to be a wife, and a mother. I get married in a few weeks and we will be NTNP as early as the honeymoon. Sure, there are milestones we’d like to reach first, but we both believe there will never be the “perfect” time. Life happens, things change and you can’t plan for the unknown.
Post # 10
We’ve been discussing timelines actively and I’ve been taking prenatal vitamins for a few months. We get married soon and will start TTC as soon as the 6 month mark from our last trip south is up (due to zika risk, but we were both super careful about bug bites and actively preventing them when we were on vacation). We are really hoping to be pregnant by Christmas:)!!
Post # 11
MrsJumboKappo : Well, it took us an awfully long time to get to the marriage thing. I remember the craving for a baby somewhere around 26 or 28. I didn’t get married until 34 and am not the sort to do things ‘out of order’. So now I am expecting but I wouldn’t say the bug was there, it just needed to be done before too late! I think the real alluring time was just my hormones telling me to get a move on and they’d given up by now
Post # 12
before wedding/after engagement.
But I think a lot of that is my son is turning 3 and I want another! We won’t actually TTC until after our wedding, though!
Post # 13
We are getting married next year, we are only 25 and already I can feel my ovaries cry sometimes. But I know it’s way too soon, and we are okay waiting till we are 100% ready even if that’s another 5 years.
Post # 14
We’ve been married almost a year and I’d say it hasn’t entirely kicked in for me yet. We are planning on TTC next August and while I’m definitely excited I don’t feel any baby fever. But it really feels like it will be the right time.
We have good health insurance and have decent finances.
My husband will be done with the majority of classes and his prelims for his PhD (a big factor in our timing decision).
Right now we live the closest we ever will to my parents and after he finishes his PhD we have no idea where we will be so it will be nice to have family at least somewhat near by.
My job allows so much flexibility that we shouldn’t have to pay for very much daycare (maybe two-three days a week).
We will have been together 10 years (married for two). We will both be 28.
We are doing a big family trip to Hawaii in June which for us is kind of a babymoon.
Post # 15
mrscsoontobee : that is so true!!! Good luck and congratulations on your wedding in a few weeks!!