Married Bees, when did the baby bug kick in?

posted 4 weeks ago in Babies
  • poll: When did your baby bug kick in before/after your marriage?
    Before engagement : (20 votes)
    27 %
    After engagement but before the wedding : (16 votes)
    22 %
    Within 6 months : (13 votes)
    18 %
    Within 1 year : (10 votes)
    14 %
    1~2 years : (5 votes)
    7 %
    2~3 years : (4 votes)
    5 %
    3~4 years : (1 votes)
    1 %
    4~5 years : (2 votes)
    3 %
    5+ years : (2 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    848 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I always said I wanted to be married for a year before TTC. We got engaged after 3 years, and I got maaaajor baby fever the winter between our engagement and wedding (4 years). We thought about TTC immediately after the wedding but then I ended up on some medication that meant we had to wait after all. We concieved on our second cycle trying and I was 14 weeks on our 1st anniversary.

    Post # 17
    Member
    12569 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    4.5 years and hasn’t kicked in yet.  DH and I have decided we’ll probably start trying next spring, but it’s just because eveything else worked out, and not because I have baby fever.

    Post # 18
    Member
    733 posts
    Busy bee

    MrsJumboKappo :  I think it’s pretty much a hard, cold fact that humans (along with every other sustainable species) are driven by a hard -wired biological compulsion to reproduce. Most people I know got married when they were ready to become parents. While I personally see a benefit in getting married without having kids right away (health insurance, all other socioeconomic benefits of official pair bonding, etc) most people I know just don’t see it that way. They’ll be single right up until the moment they want to start having babies. That’s most, not all.

     

    Some people wanted to be married for a few years and build their foundation, as that will be the back bone of the family they create. I think that’s smart, but *shrug*, time is a luxury in life. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    1609 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Before we got married we used to talk about timelines and kids, and always decided that we would wait one year. Well after 6 months, I started to reaaallly get the itch… dh still wasnt ready, so we waited. One month before our first year anniversary we started ttcing, and it took 9 cycles. Our 2nd year anniversary is next week and I am almost 25 weeks along! I wouldnt change our timing!

    Post # 23
    Member
    70 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2019 - Hollins House, Pasatiempo Country Club

    I’ve always had baby fever, and have always known it’s my destiny to be a mom. I’ll be content if I’m done having kids before 30. Probably won’t be trying after that. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    396 posts
    Helper bee

    We didn’t really discuss TTC until about 3 years of marriage (13 years together total). We are early 30’s now. We started last fall and then got pregnant after 6 months. I am currently 6 months pregnant and we will celerate our 4 year anniversary in about a week (due in November). 

    For us, it wasn’t so much about how long we had been married, but hitting certain goals. We wanted our careers, finances and personal lives to be at a certain point before bring a child into this world. The timing happened to work well for us.

    Post # 25
    Member
    1949 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    DH and I are older so I wanted to start trying before we got engaged but he said no. I can’t help but wonder if it would’ve happened sooner then since we were younger and now we are struggling. I got pg lst April but miscarried in May and now we are trying again. It has been two years last June that we have been trying. 

    Post # 26
    Member
    169 posts
    Blushing bee

    I wouldn’t say I have hit baby fever yet, although I LOVE babies and have always wanted to be a mom! For now, we are very content on the path we’re on, and have a general timeline set out. Marriage, house, lots and lots of travelling, then babies. So we’ll likely start trying when we’re 27-29, roughly a decade after we started dating! By the way my cousin (who’s 28) has been struggling, it might take awhile anyway.

    Edit: In my previous job I worked at a daycare, and taking care of the babies there really helped any baby fever I might’ve had! I was able to have that sense of being a mom, without the commitment when I went home.

    Post # 27
    Member
    177 posts
    Blushing bee

    My FI has been wanting a baby for the past three years. We have been engaged for 15 months and we aren’t getting married for another 6 months, but if he had his way, I would be pregnant now. I absolutely do not want to be pregnant before our wedding so he is pushing for TTC right after our wedding. I woudl like for us to wait a few months after our wedding before TTC. I didn’t start having baby fever until everyone around me got pregnant lol I can forsee us being pregnant before our one year wedding anniversary.

    Post # 28
    Member
    1155 posts
    Bumble bee

    I definitely do not have baby fever. But we know we *eventually* want children. If I were younger, I’d probably want to wait at LEAST 3 years after marriage, and SO would probably love that as well, since he is 4 years younger than me. But I’ll be turning 34 when we get married, and we both recognize that we just don’t have the luxury of waiting until we truly feel ready, whenever that may be. So the current plan is to start TTC by the time I’m 35, around our 1-year anniversary. Like PP have stated, our planning has a lot more to do with finances, goals, and age than “baby fever.”

    Post # 29
    Member
    549 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    We stopped using protection the night of our wedding and for a few months before I’d gotten baby fever. I got pregnant almost right away, due Jan 2nd & our first anniversary is march 13th

    Post # 30
    Member
    213 posts
    Helper bee

    Been married close to 6 months and getting married had the opposite reaction for me! Lol. I went into the marriage never questioning having babies, but after we got married I realized how great it is just for it to be DH & me and for us to have the freedom and luxury to do what we want. We are only 24 & 26 though, which is still young in my opinion so having babies is not something we feel the need to pursue for several several years (if at all). I’ve never been a baby person, I tend to see all the negatives with them, don’t see many positives (which sounds terrible). I think alot of people just get “baby fever” because they love babies and think they’re cute but really aren’t ready for the responsibility yet. Having a child is so life changing and so huge I think sometimes people go into it very lightly.

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