- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
So, we have close newlywed friends who recently decided to take in a roommate (a friend of the bride). Not for financial reasons (her parents pay the rent and utilities for them). Would you take in a roommate?
This is completely different from couples who move in with family or friends to save money or take care of someone who is ill or elderly.
We have another set of friends (two couples) who are considering renting a house together. I guess DH and I just wouldn't feel comfortable and feel like the whole situation would just be really stressful. (Who grocery shops? Who cleans what? If you're making dinner, do you make enough for everyone?)
Just curious to hear other opinions. Or experiences if you've done this - maybe we've got it all wrong and we're missing out!
Never! I hated having roommates when i was single! Part of the best part about living with my partner is NO STUPID ROOMMATES!
Yes we would. Actually since first moving in together we have had 4 roommates - DHs cousin, twin sister, best friend and my older brother. My older brother was actually living with us in a townhouse at the time we got married and continued for the first 4 months of our marriage. Didnt bother us one bit. We almost took in another roommate recently (a friend from GA who has a temp job in DC) but they ended up finding a sublet elsewhere. It's not an ideal situation, but if we are able to help out a family member or a friend then we will do it. Also - DHs best friend lived with us in a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom SMALL apartment for 4.5 months. That was the only roommate situation that I actually got annoyed with because there was just no room.
ETA - We would not want another couple living with us as our current house is relatively small and to me that would be awkward. Only one other person at a time please! We arent out looking for roommates, but if someone needs a place to live for a bit then we are open to it.
Hell no. DH and I are getting used to living together and learning each other's habits. That's hard enough. No way in the world would I add in another person(s) to the mix.
As far as I'm concerned, one of the big differences between a roommate and my husband is that if my husband pisses me off, we can have makeup sex. That's not the case with a roommate.
Not now. Like GreenEyed said, we're still getting used to living with *eachother* and it would not be fun to have to adjust to other people at the same time! Plus, we would NOT like to have to plan loud-you-know-what around when our roommate(s) was not home!
No way! I hated both of the roommates I had before I got married and my sister and my husband are the only two people I've ever lived with that it worked out well haha. It would kill our intimacy and make us feel like we'd have to walk on eggshells to avoid using the roomies shampoo, laundry detergent, toothpaste,etc. being married you just use it if it's there and you go on with your life, no toes to step on, wouldn't trade that for a roommate again for anything!
We're not married yet but we live together and I'm in the "oh haellllllll no" camp personally.
One of my favorite things about being married that I've tod DH is, "I'm SO glad I never have to look for roommates again!" haha...
Only like if we knew someone who NEEDED a place to stay and couldn't afford it on their own or something. Like a SUPER close friend or a sibling. We had a roommate last year - from when we were still "just dating" to about halfway through our engagement.
We did and we actually really enjoyed it. DH and his brother had an apt together before I moved to Australia and the three of us just decided to keep living together after I arrived. We lived together for 5 months before the wedding and for 3 months after the wedding and it was great!
It wasn't really a financial decision, it was just the way things were and we liked all living together. BIL was out often enough that DH and I had plenty of time on our own but we actually really enjoy his company so we did a fair bit of stuff just the three of us. Also, it doesn't hurt that when DH and I met, it was on a three week holiday that BIL was also on - so from the start, DH, BIL, and I have always gotten along brilliantly.
DH and I now live on our own and love it - I think it would be hard to go back to living with a roommate as we're fully established in our own lives, but we are really glad we had that time together living with BIL for a while.
My initial thought was no way! But I realized, DH kind of does have roommates. He has to have a place of residence in a particular town for his job. He's just renting a room there from an eldery lady, and there's another person who is doing the same thing. So I guess he does have roommates.
We've had a houseguest who has overstayed their welcome (multiple times)... there's NO WAY I could deal with a roommate. I hated having roommates when I was single, I can't imagine doing it while married!
No I wouldn't. I love having the house with just us 2 here. We brought a house together 5 years before getting married so are too used to it being just us now - it would be so hard to have other people here too.
I'm not married, but I can tell you that it would never happen now or after October comes around. We both enjoy our privacy.
No. We did for a while, well, technically before we were married but it isn't like a ton has changed in our relationship since we got the new jewelry and had a giant party. It was miserable. For us, it is much better living on our own rather than with another person, even another couple. We need our alone time together. If we absolutely needed to for monitary reasons, we would make it work for the best but if we had a choice, nope. Never again.
Nope, never. We had someone ask us- it would've been cheaper for him and us, more convenient, and would've been doing a friend a favor... but I said no way. I feel like it would be awkward and I do NOT want to share a bathroom with two guys, one is going to be bad enough! lol. Plus, I like walking around my place wearing whatever I want, with someone else in the house I'd have to feel properly dressed.
We had another couple who were family as roommates. It was complete and udder HECK. They ended up leaving 3 months early and completely screwing us over. I never want a roommate again.
Never never never never never! NEVER! I can't even imagine. I know a couple that just bought a house and they have 2-3 brothers living there (one from each...). I could never and would never! Some friends of mine got married and they still lived with her sister and another friend. I don't get it, I guess. Unless it is some financial emergency? I would never want to do that even for a second unless for some reason it absolutely had to be done! Even then, we'd need a private bathroom and exit. I just can't imagine...
I know some couples who do this, including one who will continue to keep a roommate after they marry this summer. They make it work mostly for financial reasons-- they're young and still in college, paying their own way.
I couldn't do it-- I'm excited to marry my FI, get an apartment together, and start building a home and our life together. I'm definitely a kid at heart so I'll never be totally mature in all aspects of my life, but I'm ready for us to live on our own!
I think part of this may have to do with the fact that we aren't living together until we're married? It's going to be a new adventure for us and we've set ourselves up so we'll be financially secure enough to live together without relying on roommates.
My FI and I live together with a roommate right now. I'm SO over it!! We didn't live together before so the only living situation we know together is with a roommate. Our roommate is a friend of my FIs who quit his job when we moved in and has a horrible chihuahua!!
It needs to be me and my FI only now! I'm going nuts!!
Heck no! Newlyweds need time for themselves. Having to share personal space like that just makes the essential adjustment time with each other so much more complicated when you throw someone else in the mix!
We would on a temp situation like someone is moving where we live and need a landing pad for 6 months. In fact we have an open offer for people to do just this.
Definitely. We've even talked about actually doing this.
We are in the process of buying a house and if DH's sister had gone to grad school in our same city, she was going to rent a bedroom from us. We also tossed around the idea of DH's best man renting a room from us.
I wouldn't let just anyone be a roommate but there are certain people / situations where I wouldn't mind it at all!
For me, it depends on what kind of roommate. We were married late last year & my little brother has lived with us for 3 years. He keeps to himself, goes to his gf's house every night, & pays rent on time, most times early. He's basically our ideal roommate.
I would not be ok with one of DH's friends living w/ us & lounging on the couch with him every night/always being around/never leaving other than for work etc. It would drive me crazy- and I know from experience!
We would personally never have roommates, but we also live in a ranch house where all the bedrooms are at one end together. I think that would just be uncomfortable.
But, my SIL and her husband have been married for a year now and have had a roommate the entire time. They have a town house, so one bedroom is upstairs and the master is on the bottom floor. It had been one of her good friends that lived with her before they married, but she moved out recently and now another friend has moved in. I think it works well because they are on different schedules, she spends most of her free time at her boyfriends house, and my SIL gets extra spending money. So far, they really like the arrangement.
And personality-wise, my SIL doesn't like to be home alone, and her husband is a firefighter, so he's gone for days at a time. Having a roommate means someone is home with her when he's gone.
Hell no. If DH is doing something to tick me off, I have the authority to do something about it. Roommates are a whole different ballgame. A roommate is just drama and politics, IMO. I hated it in college and I'd hate it even more now.
I say it would have to depend on the situation. Right now my brother is going back to school in the city that I live in, we bought a house last year and offered him our guest room. So right now in my house there is myself, my FI, my soon to be teenage step-daughter, and my older brother. For us it works out really well; my FI is on the road 4 - 5 days a week and as a chef I mostly work nights and weekends. I like that there is someone home with the little one. All that being said though, I probably would not be as agreeable to having a friend as a roommate I think that it would be weird to have a friend stay long term.
I think it would depend on the situation. For example, my brother and SIL were married when I moved in with them for 3 months prior to our wedding. We were only 3 months away, my lease had run out and I didn't want to move in with him. So I had moved in with my brother and SIL for a few months, paid all of the utilities as my rent and moved out once we were married. It worked out well for us.
I think we would do it if it were a family member or a close friend in trouble. But we would want to have clear ground rules for how long that person was staying and if rent would be paid, etc.
If it wasn't for money reasons, I wouldn't want to have a roommate live with my husband and me. It just doesn't seem like it'd be helpful for the dynamic of our marriage. I have a friend who had to take in a roommate because she and her husband needed help with the rent, and I know they were less than pleased with the whole thing. :(
We actually had a roommate for the first 10 months of our marriage (and 3 years before we got married). It was my husband's brother who was living with us while going to school. He was actually living there before we started dating. It was really nice having extra money in rent, but I was SO glad when he finally moved out. I don't think we could do that again unless it was helping a friend or family for just a few months.
We live in a big house with 7 other people, and it is waaay less than ideal but we don't really have a choice in the matter. (It's either live in his work housing, my work housing, or rent a house but still need 'mates.) Our room is really quite big and we have our own huge bathroom, plenty of fridge space (there is 2 kitchens with 5 fridges), and a full time maid, but it just bugs me a lot of the time. Honestly, we don't even see most of the housemates except very rarely, but I really miss having our own apartment.
I don't think DH really minds because he never did this in college or anything, but I just feel like I'm in undergrad a lot of the time and I'm so *over it.*
More than once I have had friends (often with children and pets) stay with me/us because of unfortunate circumstances. Also, my brother lived with us off and on for 5 years.
We would not. I like my privacy and personal space too much.
If a family member or close friend fell on hard times and needed a temporary place to stay, that'd be different. But just to make a little extra cash? Hells no.
Nope, never. Even before we were married we wouldn’t have taken in a roommate. I don’t even think we’d allow someone to just stay with us for an extended period of time. I greatly value my personal space and my home is just that. I could never share it with anyone besides DH and our future offspring. Anything that stops me from being entirely comfortable in my own home is a no go.
My friend & her husband had a roommate for a while. He moved out a couple months after they got married but he was living with them for a few years prior. She HATED it. He was messy and rude but her husband saw past all of that and was only concerned about the money. When he eventually moved out her husband brought up getting another roommate and my friend put her foot down. She wasn’t about to start all over again with a new virtual stranger in her home so they gave up the extra rent in lieu of privacy and happiness. She said she she’ll never have a roommate again.
Nope. I got burned 3 times while I was living on my own with roommates. The extra cash wasn't worth it and never will be again. I enjoyed living alone and having my space, so living with DH is a challenge enough.
I think I would love it if it was with the right person/couple. I know a bunch of my friends would think it's weird at first, but we are a very social couple, so it does kind of make sense for us. We don't even vacation by ourselves - we've always included atleast one other couple. And for the record, we are not swingers or anything like that.
We've had friends stay with us for a few months at a time and we've never had any problems finding private time for us.
We just like to have other people around... the more, the merrier mentallity.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| ndreighton | 4 |
| Suikerbossie | 3 |
| hamikay | 2 |
| Future Mrs K | 2 |
| aussiebee | 2 |
| pipafarell | 2 |
| jaguar | 1 |
| Miss Godiva | 1 |
| mrsjjohnson2b | 1 |
 brunetteinlove |
1 |
Sorry, there are no users yet.
