- 4 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
We got married on Saturday. I am so happy to married to my best friend.
I hope what I am going to write will help future brides–
We’ve all heard it a million times. “My wedding day was a blur!” “My wedding day went SO fast.”
I was convinced I was somehow- magically- going to be that “special” person who was able to slow her wedding day down. Sadly, I was delusional. It went so fast- that I am struggling to grasp parts of it. The only times I DO remember well are when we’d stop to take pictures- just because we were standing in the same spot for more than a moment.
There were so many things that didn’t go as planned.
I was sick the week before. People invited themselves. People just showed up. It rained. Two of my bridesmaids arrived at the venue for hair, but because the hair stylist was just a few moments late, they left without contacting me (they knew I wouldn’t be there for another 45 minutes)- and because of that– made all of the girls behind schedule. We missed out on SO many pictures- family pictures, pictures with my bridesmaids. I didn’t like my hair (and there was no time to fix it beause of my BM’s stunt). After 2 months of NO period (recently diagnosed with PCOS), I am the most bloated I have been in years- on my wedding day– with AF arriving pomptly the morning after. If you see the pictures of my body at the last dress fitting (one week before), and pictures of me at the wedding, I look like I ate nothing but cake for the days between the last fitting and my actual wedding day. That was the hardest for me- especially because it was so unpredicable. I literally gain 6-7 pounds of water weight during the week before. Truth is, I had started to gain it the week before my wedding, but I was in bed for 2 solid days (sick), and then SO busy the next few days trying to catch up from lost time that I don’t think I had time to notice what I looked like! I was SO excited to wear my dress after my last fitting. It was corset back, so it still fit the day off- but the water weight goes mostly to my face, bust and belly– you can really see it.
DH (hubby- YAY!!)- took a couple pics yesterday when we were goofing around and you can see how the water weight is gone from my face.
The reception doors to the main are opened an hour before I was told they were going to.
And at the very end of the night, we had a debacle with our car company- not a fun way to end our wedding night.
We had gone out with some friends after the wedding, and I’d be lying if I said that after THAT part of the night, I was a little ill-feeling the next day. For 2 days after our wedding- with the crushing pain of a heavy period, I was saddened. Mostly at the the fact that I just HAD to be so bloated in my expensive dress (by far the most expensive piece of clothing that I have ever purchased)– I was quite freaked that there would be NO pics that I don’t look bloated in (haven’t seen ay pro pics yet, but have seen a few guest pics, and yes, I look bloated). I fretted about my hair (I can’t figure out if my hair wasn’t behaving, or the stylist was having an off day- it turned out nothing like I imagined, and halfway through the night, I felt like I threw my hair to the side to hit the gym and happened to throw on a wedding dress.
So- as I’m sure many of you bees can relate, on a girly-level- my wedding day was far from perfect.
But after a few days of reflection, I have realized one thing: I am married to my best friend. And that was what the day was all about.
There isn’t anyone who will convince me I didn’t look bloated (while we’re all our own harshest critic, I’m a realist, and I know what I look like on any given day). There isn’t anyone who can tell me “oh, you’re hair looked amazing!”- because it didn’t. But my husband (!) was googly eyed at me all afternoon and evening. He was beaming with happiness- and he still is! He is over-the-moon excited to be married to me. I even got an email from my son’s teacher at school about something- in which she bothered to mention that my son said I was beautiful. It’s endearing to know my son thinks his mama is beautiful no matter what.
The reason I explained all of this- is because of this: I now know what’s it’s like to a day, that, while most of the events of the day went off without a hitch– me- the bride- didn’t feel beautiful. I know I didn’t look my best. But the day isn’t about how many pictures you got, who messed what up, and how many extra pounds you’ve put on- for whatever reason.
It’s about love. It’s about a lifelong connection. It’s about sharing your commitment with everyone you’ve chosen (or maybe not chosen!) to surround you.
There was something about not feeling beautiful myself, but knowing my husband was crazy-happy to marry me, show me off + call me his wife- no matter what- that is endearing to me. I feel like I was looking my worst on a day I should have looked my best- and here is this guy who made me feel amazing.
So ladies- even when it rains, your makeup rubs off, your MIL steps on your dress and your hair falls out- realize what this day is about everything but those things.