(Closed) Married vs Common law

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

I’d rather be married. But…being common law married in states that recongize it IS being married. You just didn’t have the ceremony that goes along with having an actual marriage. As far as I know…in those states that recongize common law marriage, there is no difference between that and regular marriage. In fact, for our company, if you declare yourself as common law married (again, in a state that recognizes it), the only way you can remove your “spouse” from benefits if you break up is by getting a divorce decree.

Post # 4
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

to both of us there has been no logical benefit from being married- NONE whatsoever.

I wanted to get married to be married, he wanted to get married to be married and feel grown up.

Post # 7
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Alaric2012:  He should take your last name!!!  We used to joke about it, but I only thought he was half-serious about it… Until he told both of my parents this weekend!  So I’m just going from a Ms V to Mrs V and I love it!

We are currently opposite-sex domestic partners, but not only do we want the marriage benefits, but we want to say I Do in the presence of our families. We want to legally create a new family of V’s and file our taxes together, be entitled to visit each other in the hospital, etc etc.  And most importantly, I love the way he lights up when he says “I can’t wait to call you my wife!!”.  🙂

Post # 8
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@2PeasinaPod:  That’s how I’ve always known it to be. But then again, I don’t live in a state (IL) that recognizes common law.

Post # 9
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

@Alaric2012:  What’s harsh? The benefits piece? Yes and no…we don’t cover opposite gender domestic partnerships on our plans. So if you’re not married, your boyfriend can’t be on our benefits. If someone represents themselves as being common law married, we’re treating them as if they are married. If you’re representing yourselves as being married, then you have to go along with everything that comes with that, including divorce!

Post # 10
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee

I am common-law with my SO now. We have the same legal rights as a married couple where we live so getting married wouldnt make much difference.  We have each others work benefits, file joint tax returns, I could take half his stuff if i left him if i wanted to etc… In the eyes of the government we are the same as a married couple.  I do want to get married however as I like the symbolism of it.

Post # 11
Hostess
16217 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I honestly don’t know much about common law marriages because Ohio doesn’t recognize them.

Post # 12
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Alaric2012:  like I said he wanted to marry because he simply felt like he didn’t want to be a 35 year old with a long term GIRLFRIEND. I was ready to formally commit the rest of my life to him legally and formally on paper.

Yes, I wanted a “wedding” to go along with that. But no, we did not marry for any tax benefit/ name change whatever.

Post # 13
Member
10563 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

Here common law is recognized, but legally being married and being common law are not the same thing (although they are similar).  To me, there are differences that go beyond legal benefits.

Post # 14
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I want to get married for a lot of reasons.  One of them being the part where we formally celebrate with our families.  

Post # 15
Member
6598 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

My DH and I were common law before we were married.

In Canada being common-law gives you the exact same legal benefits as being married.

However, we never considered ourselves married when we were common-law, even though I could have taken his name then. We still considered ourselves as a serious dating couple. I am assuming that this is a societal influence.

Even though I know that it doesn’t make sense from a logical stand point, if I were to do it again, I would still get married.

Post # 16
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@2PeasinaPod:  You are right.  You have to get a divorce to end a common law marriage.

I would rather be married which common law marriage is still married.  I would just rather cut through the confusion and have a piece of paper that backs my claim.  

Here is a link that has the states that allow it and what you have to do to be “common law” married.  It also gives a paragraph about how you have to divorce to end the common law marriage:  http://www.unmarried.org/common-law-marriage-fact-sheet.html

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