Post # 1
A few months ago I posted some of my concerns about having a roommate, however by that time the invitation to move in had already been extended and despite my apprehension my husband’s best friend moved in. Unfortunately, it has been completely awful. I feel so uncomfortable in my own home, to the point where I contemplate moving out almost daily. I would never want to leave my husband…but I also don’t want to live like this. Sadly, we can’t just kick our roommate out because without him we would just be too stretched financially. I look at jobs daily to try to find something better than the part time job I have currently but have yet to find anything that I’m qualified for. I’d like to go back to school to get my bachelors degree but I just can’t imagine having to spend two more years in this situation. I just don’t know what to do.
Our roommate doesn’t clean up after himself at all, leaves lights on all the time when he doesn’t even pay the electric bill (he pays a flat 300 a month, regardless of bills), and he refuses to buy himself a cable box so he’s constantly in the living room monopolizing our only tv. Despite the fact that he has a tv an an Xbox in his room and we would gladly call directv for them to set up a box for him if he’d pay for it. I don’t want to come across as rude to him or make him feel like he has to stay upstairs in his room all the time but I’d like to have use of my own living room. And not be stuck in our bedroom where we don’t have a tv or an Xbox.
Sorry for ranting. I’m just hoping that someone will have suggestions or even just be able to relate. At this point I might just have to get a second part time job which I’m not sure would even be worth it. We only have one car now so it can be difficult enough working our schedules around each others so they work out. My husband is in retail management so he has to be flexible with his schedule.
Post # 3
I can’t relate 100% right now, but i can from past roommates. FI and I also have roomates. There are somethings that they do that bother us, but i am sure that it works the same for them as well. But overall they are AWESOME roommates, and have been a blessing to us financially, giving us the ability to put more money towards our wedding.
I am sorry that you ended up with a bad roommate though, i have had one when i was in college and i spent more time away from home then at home. Honestly, it will come down to your husband to make it better! Sorry you are going through this, i am sure that it is hard on you personally, and possibly your relationship as well 🙁
Post # 4
Oh I can’t imagine. I would hate a roommate, so I never have done it. It must be even worse when that person is essentially a third wheel intruding in your married life.
He only pays $300? I have to ask though, is there anything from your monthly budget you can cut to replace his payment? Or maybe find a cheaper (I’m assuming you’re renting?) place to live, even if it is smaller.
Post # 5
I would have your husband talk to him and lay down ground rules about cleanliness. Unfortunately there’s not much you can do about him using the house as you’re both entitiled to use the house. If him being in the living room when he has a TV in his room bothers you that much then I would just pay for the box/dish/whatever so that he can us the TV in his room to watch cable. How much is it a month? Is it worth getting some of your sanity back?
Post # 6
I’d look for another roommate if I were you. Have one set up and then kick him the F out!
Also, $300 a month is insanely cheap.
Post # 7
At the very least, move your tv and cable box into your bedroom.
Post # 8
I vote for looking for another roommate as well. This one is hurting your marriage. Best friend or not, it’s time for this roommate to go.
Post # 9
We own our home and had to buy a new car recently. He moved in right afterwards. So his rent basically goes towards our car payment.
Post # 10
i can relate to bad roommates. this was me last year! I never ever even came out of my room because my guy roommate would leave the place completely trashed. I would try so hard to clean but the next day it would be back to nasty. I just lived in my room that year. this year i have a different roommate and my life is 1000 times better. I suggest trying to just find a different roommate! they’re not all bad.
get rid of this guy, no matter what. it’s not worth straining your marriage!!!
Post # 11
My husband lived with him before we moved in together and when they were living together the roommate was always in his room for the most part. Still kind of messy, but he kept to himself a lot more. He also had a girlfriend at that time and actually left the house on occasion. Now he pretty much only leaves to go to work. And to go out drinking with my husband.
Im really tempted to buy him the tv box. I don’t want to but it might save me some of my sanity. At least until I can find a better paying job and ask him to move out. I don’t know.
Post # 12
He’s a nice guy and we get along well…living with him just isn’t so great.
Post # 13
Move your tv and cable into your room and have a talk to him about cleaning up after himself. Let him know that you like a clean house and if he wants to be a slob, do so in his room where you won’t be bothered by it.
I’d also tell him that if he continues to leave lights on you’ll have to up his rent to help with the electricity bill because it’s costing more.
Post # 14
Ugh, I’m so sorry. :/
I’m moving in with my FI and his roommate after the wedding, and we’ll be stuck with him until the end of July when the lease is up.
How long is the lease on your current place? Are there any less expensive places you could try to find for just the two of you?
The apartment that FI and I are going to be sharing with his friend/roommate is a 2-bedroom townhome that we wouldn’t be able to afford on our own, but we also don’t want him as a roommate forever.
So we’re looking at smaller 1/1 apartments in the area, for about $550-600/month + utilities. It’ll be a stretch, but I’d rather pick up an extra job than deal with a roommate.
Post # 15
Seems like you are way too hesitant to air your frustration with both your husband and his friend. Does your husband know how you feel? If so, has he said anything to his friend??
Post # 16
I haven’t had a roommate since college, but I had some challenging ones, so I can relate on that aspect.
I will say that my BEST roommate experiences were with people that I did not know. My best friend at the time and I lived together for a year and it just about ruined our friendship. We are still friends but we have honestly never been as close.
If you would be comfortable finding someone who was looking for a place to live but was a stranger to you, that might be an option. IMO, it’s easier to lay down ground rules with people that are not “friends.” I understand, however, if this is not an option you are comfortable with.
If that option would not work, I would have a frank chat with DH and lay out what you’ve said here. Increase the rent, make him pay for his own cable box, etc.
Hope it gets better for you! 🙂