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I think I would hate having to do that. Then again, if I was in your situtation it makes sense. I also wouldn't mind as much living with my parents, but I wouldn't want to live with FI's family.
I've heard of this happening before; if you both get along with your family, why not?
I'd say if you're going to do it though you should set some VERY big boundaries - will you just be saving on rent, or will mom and dad still be feeding you? will the basement be yours to exclusively use? will you chip in for bills or anything else? what about having friends (other couples maybe) over - will it bug you to be unable to unable to entertain? when will you move out (maybe set a deadline)? etc.
Good luck!
i think having very clear boundries would be important. i wouldnt want them going thru my mail, hearing our arguments or expecting us to have dinner or talk to them with them every night.
a chinese lady at work lives with her parents and a fijian-indial lady (my bestie at work) lives with his parents - in some cultures its quite the norm
I did this during my first marriage as we were both unemployed at one point during the dot-com era and would totally advise against it. My ex got along great with my parents but living with other people masked some of the underlying problems (lack of communication) until it was too late to do anything about it. When you are forced to deal with just each other and navigate household issues your bond grows. You are so young that you have time to get married without the pressures of starting a family the moment you move in together after the wedding.
If you get along well, I'd definitely consider it, but I agree with the other ladies that clear boundaries are key. And open lines of communication would probably help quite a bit too!
we are planning to this after we get married, so that we skip the whole apartment phase and save up for a house. It's also quite common for his culture (we'd be moving into his parent's basement) and honestly? I have some doubts about it, but I know we'll make it work :)
Thanks for all the input! I actually think it would work out really well, knowing my family and our relationship together, but I agree that there should be clear boundaries if we ever decided to do this. Who knows, though, at this point i'm still on the fence about it.
Oy, decisions..
My best friend lived with her FI in his "rent's basement, they got married and now (3 years later) they still live in her in-law's basement. Although they live in Hawaii, so it's quite common and accepted there. Besides the cost of living being outragous, it's quite common to have 3, 4 or 5 generations living in one household. Now they've decided to build a small house in her in-law's backyard. Either way, I'll soon have a guestroom to crash in next time I'm in hawaii. :o) hehe
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Alright, so I know that typically you get married and fly the coop, if you already haven't. But, FI and I are both students going for graduate degrees, so we don't/won't exactly have loads of money saved up by the time we get married. We've been together now for 6 1/2 years (i'm 22, he's 24) and while we planned on the long engagement..I dunno...it would be nice if we didn't have to wait 3 years to get married. He's in law school and will graduate in 2012, and i'll graduate from grad school in 2011, so we were planning on getting married in the summer or fall of 2012, so we would both ideally have jobs.
Buuut my mom made a joke the other day, with a touch of seriousness, that we could just get married a year or so sooner than planned and live at home with them. We've got a decent sized basement, and she said we could just have that like our own little apartment (complete with bathroom and a mini kitchenette type thing.) I must admit that it's tempting. I'm close to my parents and he is as well and I don't think it would personally bother either of us on a short-term basis, I just wasn't sure on the protocol for that. I suppose it's not exactly the ideal setup for newlyweds and I also didn't know if other people would be completely weirded out by that if it ever came up.
So much babbling for a little question...
I was just wondering...how many of you ended up living at home or with the in-laws once you tied the knot? How long did you set up camp and how did it work out in the scheme of things?
Thanks! :)