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Marrying a non-catholic in a new city.. what to expect?

posted 4 months ago in Catholic
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    1.
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    Helper bee
    capergrrl    December 29, 2012   Canada

    HI Bees!

    Small history here: I am catholic, confirmed and all. I've been an on-again/off-again attendee during my adult life. I'll attend for a few years, get busy and stop going.  For the last year (since FI and I moved to a new city for a job) it's been off again. Our wedding is Dec 29th 2012 so I've been asking around about local churches. FI is not Catholic. He isn't opposed to getting married in Catholic church. I just need some info about what to expect and how to proceed. I know the first step is to actually go and join a congregation :P After that, I'm not sure how to proceed. Make an apt with the priest? Do you just contact the church office? Are the classes the same for couples who aren't both Catholic? Does he need to be baptized first? (He's stated that he's not willing to do that, but is willing to raise any children in the faith).

    Any help would be greatly appreciated!

    Thanks!

     

     
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    Helper bee
    MissMaryMc    September 22, 2012   Washington, District of Columbia

    Call the church office. Depending on how busy of a parish it is, they may assign a priest to you or they may let you choose a priest.

    They'll let you know what you need to do as far as meeting with the priest, any classes you have to take, etc.

    Your fiance doesn't have to be Catholic or baptized, but some priests will make it harder than others to get through the planning process.

    Most priests, as long as the guy is willing to support you in your faith, they won't mind if the fiance isn't Catholic.

     
    3.
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    Helper bee
    MissMaryMc    September 22, 2012   Washington, District of Columbia

    Also, I would get started ASAP. Some priests require more than others. FI and I have been doing at least one thing church-prep related a month and we've been working on it since July. We won't be done until next week.

     

    Some will require three meetings, some up to 6 or 8. So it's best to put the church prep stuff first.

     
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    Blushing bee
    mari892    December 17, 2011   Florida

    Congratulations on the engagement! Having just had a Catholic wedding, I can see how you'd be confused- it's not exactly an easy process. But there is good news. First of all, your fiance does not have to convert, though you will both have to state that you will raise any children you have in the Church. Secondly, the classes are the same. You do an Engaged Encounter, which is done with other couples. Then there's the FOCUS exam, which identifies possible areas of conflict in your relationship. You each take the test individually, then meet with a married couple to discuss the results.

    Finally, there are a couple of meetings with the priest. Our first meeting was to sign documents certifying that neither of us had been previously married or otherwise had anything that would keep our marriage from being valid. This was when we signed documents stating our intention to be open to children and raise them Catholic. The second meeting was after we had completed all of our preapration. This was when we discussed our ceremony.

    You start the process by contacting whatever church you end up joining. The office should direct you to the appropriate people to help you out.

    The only differences since your fiance is not Catholic has to do with the actual ceremony. You wouldn't have a full mass with communion, since he would not be able to receive it with you. If he is a baptized Christian, you can still have a traditional ceremony, just omitting communion. If he is not a baptized Christian, then there is a simpler ceremony, and I'm not sure if it would be sacremental or not, I'd have to look that up.

    Either way, you should be able to get married in a Catholic church. Good luck, and enjoy this time!

     

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