- 5 years ago
I need some advice on what to do, this is my situation:
I am going for my PhD which will take about 5 to 6 years, and we talked about moving in together with my girlfriend. And we also talked about marriage.
I’ve been working my butt off since I was 15 (Im 24 now), I came to the US recruited for sports, supported myself while going to college, got a job after graduation and made a decent saving and in a few months Im going to gradschool completely debt free and I have funding+stipend secured for the duration of my studies.
My girlfriend is in a completely different boat. She spends a lot of money on clothes, shoes, makeup, among others and believes those are “necessities”. When I first met, I really didn’t care because it was her money, but if we’re gonna take this to the next level, this is definetely a concern. She hasn’t been able to get a fulltime job in the past year, after she graduated, most likely because she didn’t take advantage of college and spent a good amount of time partying and getting drunk. She changed a lot since we first met, those days are behind but looks like she’s paying the consequences from that.
On top of that, her parents are not financially wise. They both have debt, spent a lot of money filing for divorce (even though they still go out form time to time).
I know it’s horrible thinking of ending a relationship because of money, but I can’t help it. I really love her, and if she wasn’t in this situtation it would all be perfect. I just know I did a lot of sacrifices to become financially estable, and now that I’ve done it I don’t wanna go back to sleeping in hotel lobbies (did it several times to save money).
Is it worth it carrying someone else’s weight right after you’ve gotten rid of your own? Or should I tell her what I feel and end it?
Any suggestion is appreciated.