Marrying because of pressure from church?

posted 2 years ago in Christian
Post # 2
Member
710 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m not Christian but I agree with your point of view. I’m curious about the responses you will receive. 

Post # 3
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

My fiance and I are waiting until we are married to have sex, but that’s certainly not the reason we’re getting married.  I do think you should be nervous for your cousin if the only reason she’s getting married is because she’s being pressured by other people. 

Post # 4
Member
1762 posts
Buzzing bee

How old is your cousin? Her reasons for getting married and her response to you pointing out valid concerns are very immature. I would be worried about her too!

Post # 5
Member
7197 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

PositiveThinking:  I’m Christian (protestant) and waited unti marriage to have sex. Wanting to have sex certainly made us marry sooner rather than later. But I wouldn’t say we rushed into it.

But I got no pressure from the church at all. And I do agree that wanting to have sex is not a good foundation for marriage! 

Post # 6
Member
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Stevens Estate

TheLadyA :  I was just going to ask the same thing.

She sounds immature and deffinately not ready for marriage. 

Post # 7
Member
1878 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN

I’m a Christian and we waited until marriage to have sex. Honestly, wanting to have sex with DH was one of the reasons I wanted to get married sooner (DH understood that and agreed, but the timing wasn’t right, so we waited a couple years). But, it wasn’t the only reason I wanted to marry him. And we weren’t feeling pressure from anyone but ourselves. It’s obviously her decision, but I agree that getting married because you’re being pressured isn’t a good idea.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  MrsWoods47.
Post # 10
Member
7197 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

PositiveThinking:  I have no problem with someone marrying while at college – I know plenty of people who have done this. I think for many people, college would be easier living with your partner than alone or with parents.

But wanting to have a baby while in college is crazy town. Yeah I know some incredible women manage it. But it’s not easy, and at 21 what’s the rush?

Post # 11
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Not your circus, not your monkeys.

Post # 14
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

 

PositiveThinking:  I’m just saying, stay out of it. Whether or not it’s typical for some churches to do this doesn’t matter; she’s made her choice.  

Post # 15
Member
10989 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I also waited until I was married to have sex, and I was in my mid 40s at the time.

I certainly hoped that I would have been married MUCH sooner than that, and I had several opportunities to have married earlier —  as much as two decades earlier. However, none of those prior relationships turned out to be good for me, and, ultimately, none of them ended up being God’s will for my life.

Most of the time, when I hear of Christian couples being “pressured” by pastors or people at church to marry, it is because the couple is admittedly engaging in premarital sex and/or living together while, at the same time, saying that they are trying to follow Christ. In that case, Scripture offers very clear direction regarding how others within the church are to handle those situations. I’ve also heard of churches encouraging couples not have lengthy engagements so as to help them avoid sexual sin. 

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